16 From Shadows (3)

The first thing that struck my mind when I woke up was the fact I was being pressed onto a soft mattress-like surface by something equally soft but warmer.

My brain took a few moments to properly reboot and start the proper queries needed to address the situation.

I was no longer in the Land of Shadows. In fact, I could see from the architectural style of the hospital ward that I was back in my castle and… nobody was around at the moment.

A sigh left my lips as I leaned on the tiny pillow the bed had and decided to waste some time to think back at what happened before I fell asleep.

I remember falling asleep after listening to an explanation from my former teacher. I was still aggravated by the nonchalant effort taken by Scathach over my refusal to confirm my apprenticeship.

It was annoying, if not disrespectful of me. I was furious, incredibly so, but also calm enough to look at the subject without getting too incensed about it and too distracted by my emotions over the matter.

The former Queen of Dun Scaith was someone that didn't seem keen to consider how her apprentices handled the harsh methods she delivered. Especially when those were given without notice or contingency to prevent the worst.

This very episode reminded me of when Cu Chulainn was poisoned with a sleep potion by his teacher, all because Scathach wanted to fight her sister alone and without having her apprentice harmed by this sibling-related rivalry.

Eventually that situation solved well and it had a proper reason to happen since Cu Chulainn was known as a brash and battle-oriented warrior that easily disregarded warnings from others.

Heck, he got the title of 'Hound of Culain' for killing the guarding dog of Culann, the famous Irish smith because he found the mutt a threat that had to be killed.

I didn't give her any reason to compare my mindset to her former apprentice's, and yet I was given a similar treatment despite my calmer disposition.

I was pissed, but also confused as to how her mood just was unfazed by my heated refusal. There was just a degree of unwillingness to let go, a mix of confidence and faith in her decision that just burned me more than the situation itself.

How could she just ignore me like that? While I understand the whole 'teacher is wiser thus they know best' kind of pattern, I was at least entitled to a sliver of trust and minor respect.

The explanation of what she intended with 'Friendship of Thighs' did little to lessen up the attrition that was born from that infuriating attempt of hers to a test. In fact, that very description got me stuck in a moral dilemma that only worsened up the opinion I had for her.

While I hadn't spent as much attention to Scathach's legend as I did with the rest of the heroes from the Ulster's Cycle, I was baffled by the fact that this legendary warrior queen had this tradition of bedding her students as a matter of developing kinship and trust.

The very concept was bewildering and absurd. I knew Celtic Britain was a crazy can of mystery and obscenity, but to think that something like that existed…

It was equally disturbing as morbidly intriguing.

I paused for a moment, frowning as I pondered over that mixed opinion I had over it. While it was true that such a tradition was horrifying in a modern connotation, it was also true that it made sense to a Celtic-based individual stuck to a couple of centuries old mindset of loyalty and bond deepening.

Plus I wasn't certainly someone that would deny the incredible beauty the Lady that owned the Land of Shadows had. And the skintight suit she would wear each day… and the resulting sweat-inducing training sessions that would make it glisten to one's eyes-

And now my body was reacting to my creative imagination and… with that, something else reacted as the cover above my chest shuffled for a moment.

My eyes widened as I tried to decipher the phenomenon, dread forcing my face to pale as a theory slowly started to build up at this very instance.

Scathach was the last individual I was with before falling asleep. She was explaining to me how the 'Friendship of Thighs' worked.

Now, I had something soft and warm pressing onto my chest and I could see my clothes folded on the chair in front of the bed with the armor lying beside the piece of furniture.

I wasn't completely naked, but I was limited to my underwear. And yet I was worried since I could feel naked skin pressing onto me.

Mustering all the bravery that survived through that wave of terror, I slowly peeked below the sheets and… stopped at a pair of red eyes staring back at me.

I blinked, and I received a blink back.

"You're awake!" A giggle, then the happy intruder rushed her arms around my neck as she nuzzled her cheek on mine.

"M-Mya?!" I muttered in shock, my hands moving to return the sudden hug as my brain failed to compute what I was dealing with.

Much to my instantaneous relief, she wasn't completely nude. She was wearing some proto-underwear that covered well enough her modesty, and yet this appearance was still enough to warrant a prominent blush out of me.

This wasn't just how I had expected to wake up but…

Not gonna lie, me likey.

"I-I thought you were going to be more hurt. That woman, I think her name was… Scathach?"

I nodded to confirm her pronunciation and she continued.

"She said you just needed to rest. But we thought she did something to you and I kept her away and..."

"And how does that explain your current state of undress?" I decided to press, knowing that the explanation was going to be equally innocent as indirectly created by some known meddlers.

"Oh? That was something that Altuos said would work as a… deterrent against the lady. And that I had to make my 'claim' known to her."

Oh God.

"And Felicianus said that now we had a 'commitment' or something like that, and that he wanted to see us both as soon as you're capable of leaving the bed."

Of course the old man would try and set up a marriage between Mya and me thanks to this opportunity.

I knew that more paperwork would do well against Altuos, but Felicianus needed a stern talk now more than ever. He was getting a wee bit annoying with his efforts to make his ships sail.

But while I was distracted by these thoughts, I felt Mya hum as she carefully set her face closer to mine. I frowned as soon as I felt her warm breath right onto my chin.

"Joseph… can we talk about… us?"

Oh. Oh boy.

A stern talk? Maybe I should directly set up a new bishop by the time this is over.

"What about it?" My throat felt tight all so suddenly, and my voice cracked at the end.

Mya didn't notice much to my relief, yet the situation itself was tense as it was despite this tiny mercy.

"Do you remember what you told me when I was sick and… about how everyone deserves a chance at happiness, even me?"

I nodded, surprised by this strange turn of the conversation.

The young woman sighed. "Can I ask you a question that… I wanted to ask you for some time now?"

Frowning, I nodded again. I decided against pressing her too much about the matter, still unsure myself about what she was exactly trying to bring up.

"Do you feel happy?"

…

What?

I blinked, my stare turning up at the ceiling as I contemplated the difficult question.

Do I feel happy?

I should be happy by all means. Londinium was doing great, the prospect of the next few years was quite impressive and I knew that people were living a better life ever since I started to introduce some social rules and work to this society.

We were ready to defend our territories if the situation demanded the deployment of troops, and I was already working on having new war-related equipment created for the occasion. Nothing too big, and nothing too absurd just yet. The weapon-makers weren't just there to make a decent step forward.

But as I felt ready to deliver a solid yes to that query, I found myself held back by a detail that was surprisingly compelling to listen to.

I was fine with this, but this wasn't what the girl had just asked me.

The realization was slow and painful to digest, especially when the idea that I was the one that made a compelling case to Mya that everyone with good intentions deserved happiness.

I really screwed myself by being so open about the topic, and I knew I couldn't just try to 'fix' it by delaying this very simple question. Changing what I had said to her after months had gone by ever since I told her that… I knew Mya wasn't going to accept it.

Not when the young woman had grown intellectually stronger in that regard.

But could I tell her the truth?

"I am happy."

No. I just wasn't ready for this.

I expected for the discussion to shift elsewhere, with the white-haired lady taking another topic of this conversation instead of lingering too long on my answer.

And yet my expectations weren't just subverted, but forced to do a double backflip before my eyes as she huffed and shuffled closer to my face.

Her nose pressed on my cheek and I felt her stare aimed so intensely at my face much to my confusion. She didn't look much elated with my response.

"Liar."

I blinked. "What?"

…

"Liar. You're lying to me."

"I'm not."

"You are," Mya continued without hesitation. "In fact, I think you're also lying to yourself even now."

How could she just see through me like that? I mean, sure, we spent months together and she got to see me a lot but… how did she get this much accustomed to how my brain works?

How?

"Mya-"

"Do you miss your family?"

I tensed up at the sudden query, my eyes widening as she continued to press on me.

"Do you miss them?"

…

"A little bit, yes."

…

"Joseph, I think you deserve happiness."

I blinked. "I guess-"

"I mean it," Mya interjected fiercely. "You're the one that has been doing the most to bring happiness to everyone in this city, and yet you deprive yourself of asking for something."

"I do this because it's the right thing, not because I want something out of the job."

She huffed. "And yet you still should. But I'm not saying you should ask an object or… money. I mean… you should ask for something that makes you happy yourself."

I blinked at that rebuttal, but before I had the chance of saying anything about it, Mya moved in with another unexpected affirmation.

"And… I think I should be the one to help you. Just like you were the one that helped me stand up from where you found me."

"What-"

"I want to be beside you when anything bad happens, I want to be there to offer you a smile when you need to have someone to give you trust and faithfulness," She started to say with a serious tone. "I want to… be there when you want to be sad, to allow the frustration wash away from you. And I want to be there to cheer you on when you need someone to hold onto."

"Mya-"

"I want to hold your hand, to give you hope, to show you kindness, and allow you to find happiness." Her smile widened. "Joseph, I know this is difficult to accept this and… I think words will not fit with what I want to say."

I was stomped, but my confusion barely reached for the immense sense of awe at the words I was bestowed with. It was so mesmerizing that I felt her lips on mine once the kiss had begun.

There was nervousness from both parts and my reluctance clashed with my genuine sense of completion.

This wasn't the first relationship I had been in, but this was perhaps the only one I felt this much invested in and surprised by the pace and the intensity it created from knowing Mya for a few months now.

With my hesitation crumbling before my resolve, the girl's own uncertainty before the lack of an early response ended up fading away as the kiss grew a little more… sure.

It was still chaste, and nothing genuinely sexual in nature. It just felt wrong to ruin the serenity of the intimate act by going that far. It just felt too much for the moment.

Mya was inexperienced in kissing, and yet she was far better than other girls that I had the chance of meeting that were in her same situation.

The little session lasted for a couple more seconds, with both retreating to get some air to our lungs. I smiled awkwardly, and her now pinker face looked incredibly adorable since it matched well with the cute smile in there. A victorious smile at that.

After that, we continued to speak a little more about this and… then people decided to visit. It was bizarre to 'explain' to Altuos and Felicianus why we were both stuck in that situation, but they seemed to understand properly and without any issues when I mentioned some punishment over any meddling from their part.

Marcus just chuckled at the goldmine of blackmail he had stumbled on, while Lancelot regaled us with a happy look as he had 'expected this union to happen'.

It took me even longer to explain to him that we just kissed and nothing else, surprisingly enough leaving the knight to grimace over the 'lost opportunity'.

It would seem like the conspiracy was extended a little more than the two elders that were usually bickering with other subjects.

With the formalization of my engagement with Mya and some more private kissing with my fiance, I decided that it was due time to handle the situation with Scathach.

I would've preferred to spend a day or two to ponder over the matter but… after talking this to Mya, I came to the conclusion that I needed to settle this now instead of hesitating over it.

I needed to show a degree of respectfulness to the violet-haired woman instead of behaving childishly, and that would start by addressing an element in the predicament I hadn't taken in consideration.

Despite my unwillingness to accept her attempt to turn me into her new apprentice, she went out of her way to personally escort me out of her domain instead of just allowing me to leave on my own.

While many wouldn't think much of this, it was incorrect to believe the action was meant to be considered a minor one.

The last time Scathach left the Land of Shadows was way before the Roman Empire came to be, and she barely knew what happened in the centuries that followed her self-exile in these disconnected lands.

To her it was a matter of trust in the new generations of humanity to persist and grow in front of adversities set against them. That by allowing herself, a part of the past, to emerge and meddle with the fate of the world, even if it was all for the sake of good, would just be a discourtesy for those willing to take on the deed and become great through the hardships of their lives.

The mindset was ruthless if not appealing from the perspective of 'ancient good'.

The concept of being a good person wasn't tied and permanently the same from mankind's birth to the modern world I was accustomed to.

Morality expanded with the expansion of virtues, the growth of the ever-complex sense of justice and worth.

From a general sense of good that Scathach was accustomed to, I was detached from this simplified view by what I was taught to believe in during the years I spent growing and becoming a capable adult.

The same applied to the way teaching was dealt with.

I remember the initial struggle I had when Marcus started to train me. The sessions felt so difficult and tough, and there were times I felt like the man was just trying to get me to snap.

But then I got the strain and drain diluted with determination and tenacity.

I needed to train as the world was still unforgiving.

And that's where the problem with Scathach was really born from.

I had expected the woman to have at least the basis of training similar to the one I knew from either Marcus or Lancelot.

The need to be aware and ready to strike when needed. To be prepared for the worst but also be quick to trust your mentor when the time demanded that kind of price.

Yet I was proven wrong when Scathach's way of training was more strict. Brutal. Based on a need to be always guarded at the chance of being attacked. At the possibility of being killed by a wandering monster.

The idea would've worked well if it wasn't for the fact that the world had changed from the times when people had to keep track of creatures trying to kill innocents.

Which explained why training became more lenient towards knights, warriors, and soldiers.

Still, I knew that the only way I could've salvaged that situation was to find a 'common ground' for Scathach and I to stand on for the reminder of this bizarre apprenticeship. And that was if I managed to convince the woman to take a more 'current' version of the method of training and trust.

Entering the Land of Shadows, I was greeted by a quiet gust of wind. It was warm, and I blinked in surprise when I took notice of this.

Until now, these lands were a perfect display of a surreal forest stuck between autumn and winter, and to feel this hot wind was… confusing.

It was just the first sign that something I hadn't expected to find this early in the morning.

The sky was clouded as usual, but instead of the odd blue-red combo of clouds, I was provided with a strange mixture that created a… copy of a dawning sun.

There was no sun in the Land of Shadows, and yet the clouds were formed in a manner that resembled one with the way some were a brighter tonality of red.

I approached the spectacle, eventually making my way through some of the silent sections of the land as I wanted to find a place where to see the sight unfold in a better way.

Eventually I reached the top of one of the few hills in there and was surprised to find the person I was trying to find sitting by one of the rocks in there. I stared at her for some silent seconds, unsure if she had sensed me or not while her gaze was locked to the strange scene before us.

Instead of hesitating and lingering in that tense position I had taken, I decided to take steps forward and… sit on the free space available on the rock she was sitting on.

Her red eyes finally greeted me quietly and I tried my best to make it seem I was paying attention only to the strange sky-related phenomenon rather than her.

Scathach didn't speak, but I could tell that she wanted to speak about the current situation and not what happened before.

And I knew that I had to be the one to make these steps or else this circumstance was never going to get solved.

"I wish to talk with you. About… what happened yesterday."

Her eyes were once more on me, and I finally glanced back at her to make it clear I was serious about it and not just fooling about the matter.

"I wish to… apologize for the harsh way I behaved," I continued with a serious tone. "I should've been less impulsive and… less blunt. I believe I was partly at fault for what happened and-"

"Don't."

I stopped, looking a little bit surprised at the curt interjection.

"While you're correct in saying that you could've handled the situation better, I don't believe you should fault yourself about it," The woman admitted calmly, looking to the clouds once again. "You weren't thinking straight because of the extreme duress you were put through, but you aren't wrong to find my ways of teaching… too harsh."

...What?

"Your castle. It's different from Dun Scaith, and not just by its size and appearance," Scathach continued with a sigh. "The people in it. Those that stand behind you, they look so different and behave with softer mannerism compared to how my former subjects used to address me."

"So you think that-"

"I'm a teacher, but I'm also an individual that long forgot that sometimes learning never ceases and that the only way to handle it is by keeping a close contact with the newer generations," She added with a nod. "By growing distant from the world, I also forsook the chances of keeping in touch with how society grew and… I didn't expect for things to become safer… but also more complicated."

Silence ensued, but it was a brief one as the woman quietly brought up a book on her lap. I glanced at it, my eyes widening a little bit as I realized the content from its title.

De Bello Britanniae

I frowned as the title reminded me of books written by a certain Roman, and I was given confirmation of this when Scathach spoke once more.

"Julius Caesar. The Romans came and swept away the old ways to give them 'civilization' and prosperity. Rebellions, wars of independence and ultimately the retreat of the empire," She started to list up. "The world has changed so much since I've left my domain, but the thing that surprises me is the sudden lack of monsters lurking in the isles."

"The connection to the mystery is fading," I muttered dryly and she nodded in agreement.

"Which is why society is no longer centered around warriors set against enemies of humanity. But knights aimed at fellow men and women."

It was truly saddening how war became more prominent only because the world was deprived of problems that would usually rally humans with different interests and ambitions under a single banner.

Despite my silent musing, the woman was far from done with this conversation despite the worst mostly dealt with. At least, that was what I thought to be the worst until that was asked.

"I actually have a few questions I wish to ask you."

I frowned, surprised at this strange interruption, but still nodded and allowed her to ask.

"What did you see in that nightmare?" She interrogated patiently. "What got you to react like that?"

Blinking at the unexpected queries, I decided to answer as curtly as possible.

"You… killed some people I care about."

"The girl? The one with white hair and-"

"Yes."

…

"Why do you think I would kill her and others?"

I took a moment to breathe, pushing back the memories of that ugly scenario as I answered this new question. There wasn't much to hold back and… what could go wrong with some honesty?

"Because… you wanted to disprove my capacity to protect those I care about," I remarked and Scathach nodded, gauging my words carefully and with some fascination.

"So you believe the test was… the test that was shown in that illusion?"

I nodded, waiting for her hums to come to an end as the violet-haired woman studied the matter some more.

"What is your relationship with the girl? Is she a friend, a sister or-"

"I'm engaged with her."

I mean, it was a recent development but… I wanted the news to deter the woman from pursuing the whole 'Friendship of Thighs' she was trying to push onto me.

Much to my surprise and grimace, she merely nodded and didn't give any signs of being perturbed by this development.

Would she attempt at that despite a holy union akin to marriage? I was really unsure about it...

"You believed I had ordained the test to be that harsh and complex, and yet the true issue was how 'creative' you are when conceptualizing your own fears," The woman analyzed out loud. "It's still my fault for expecting you to elaborate something more tame and easier to manage, but then again you don't seem capable of fearing this much."

…

"Next time I will be less inclined to trick you in this kind of mind-related test now that I know how complex and unpredictable you react to this potion," Scathach guaranteed with a truthful tone. "But I want you to assure me that you will not hold back from giving your best in any training sessions."

So that was it, I was still going to train under her and accept the apprenticeship.

"Only if you can offer me at least a minimal degree of trust. I think I warranted it."

She nodded. "I suppose I could. But I think it will be best to gain it by going through the first training session without getting too injured by it."

I stood up as soon as the woman began walking off the rock, and then we stood one looking at the other as we both took a stance without taking our respective weapons out.

"We shall start from some simple steps. Nothing too complex."

I nodded, accepting that we were going through the basics.

Then I was given the 'simple steps' and I started to feel regret when her mean punches struck at my nose and at my ribs. I moved away, handling the pain a little bit as I was barely standing after two punches.

"You're strong and quick, but you don't have much endurance to hold yourself against strong attacks. You need to build up some resilience to physical hits."

Sounds fair, but incredibly brutal considering how she wanted to do this.

"Until now you got close to defeat because you didn't have much defense. So I'm going to teach you the best defense that you can know of," She stated with a serious tone. "And the best defense-"

The ensuing punch drove onto my stomach, slamming quickly and painfully as I found myself recoiling and brought to my knees.

"Is more offense."

Why does this seem so familiar? And why do I feel the need to call Scathach my sensei?