69 A nice chapter! Get it because it's 69 and that is such a funny number.

Trigger warning

This chapter will contain heavy smut scenes, full of sexy sex and Uniporn, the unicorn. If you do not like such scenes then congratulations, so do I. But, ya know, if the audience wants to read all about them steamy nights of them hot anime gurls doing very raunchy stuff...

And the mindless consumer was the king, after all. Therefore, I gotta provide the naughty business to the very lustful, "cultured" people.

At first, I had planned to just spam 69 numbers in this chapter till there were around 1000 words. Since it would be such a creative joke about a funny number. Hihihi, he said the thingy. Because people shoving their faces into another person's genitalia was peak comedy.

That right there was a certified banger joke, let no one tell you otherwise.

Get it, because the sex position looked just like the 6 on a 9. 69, cunnilingus experts of this world were amazed at this extremely intelligent observation. Two numbers making love to each other had revolutionized the concept of humour for many years to come.

So much so that any self-respecting author had to dedicate an entire chapter to this wonderful number. It was mandatory to honour the spirit of ingenuity, which went into seeing this connection.

Hence, I present to you this entire chapter dedicated to a funny number. I might not be 420, yet 69 was more than enough.

And just so you know this chapter was pre-written, when I had been walking for ages, before I arrived at this godforsaken place. Enough of the lore and pesky story-telling; this chapter is all about that one special 2-number combination.

Did you know that 69 was something called a semi-prime? That meant it was the result of the multiplication of 2 other prime numbers. Yes, not only were the numbers making sweet love to another, now, even you readers were getting loved by math─alternatively you could also call it being "fucked."

Because 69.

Nice.

It also comes after 68 and was followed by 70. This marked the end of our little counting session, I hope we all learned something valuable today. The sex number was important, but basic education would always be far more important.

We could not lose more people to the invasion of the smut stories. Though that was another topic for another day. We were all here for that juicy, special chapter.

By now there should be no need to say it ever again. Just call it "Nice". Nice was nice because it was about the oral activity aka sex. Which, to no one's surprise, was seen as particularly appealing by the internet bottom-dwellers.

I was beaten a dead horse at this point, but it has to be all about that special number.

To lighten up the mood, please clap for the new mascot of this story. Uniporn, the horny unicorn. It might only say 69, but it was a gem. Just look at this wonderful creature...

Come on, my beautiful stallion say the thing.

"69," said the horny unicorn, Uniporn. Yes, that was what true entertainment looked like. A mythical creature saying a dirty number....damn, I was literally getting chills because of this quality writing right here.

The fans finally received the story they deserved. Everyone wanted this kind of character to enrich this world. One by one, the 69-saying being would melt even the coldest of hearts.

Come cheer with me...

"UNIPORN, UNIPORN, UNIPORN, UNIPORN UNIPORN, UNIPORN UNIPORN, UNIPORN UNIPORN."

Yes, let this planet know about our lord and saviour. May its Hornyness lead the world to salvation and bring upon the culling of the meek. Those, who did not see the value of the 69 did not deserve to live.

Because, regardless of what some might say 69, the embodiment of nice, was literally perfect. For the prophet had foretold in ancient times.

"69", it said.

Because Lord Uniporn, the unicorn was a transcendental entity, who has lived since times immemorial. Before there were words, thoughts and ideas... there was 69.

69 was life, 69 was love, 69 was nice.

69 was the beginning, 69 was the end, 69 was balanced as all things should be.

The 69 apostles of Uniporn, the unicorn have delivered its message into the multiverse and founded the Church of Nice.

Certainly, everyone was sick and tired of hearing about this god damn number. But, of course, we were not nearly at the required word count for the daily upload. As such, we had to continue and make things fun again. Hurray for quotes!!

Bla Bla Bla 69 was special and chosen. 69 was an object even mightier than the Gods. 69 rhymed with mine.

"69," added its Hornyness clearly trying to unnecessary this chapter. Well, it could not say anything else either way, but that was part of its charm. Since you know 69 was a pretty funny joke, no one had ever made before.

What else could one expect though from a unicorn called Uniporn? The horny was already in its name. Clearly, nothing more than the very theme of this part of the story─nice.

Okay, I had run out of jokes. Has anyone else any good idea about how I could show these readers how mind-bogglingly stupid the obsession with that darn number was?

There has to be some sort of lesson the audience has to take from this entire bit. I absolutely refuse to just spam that one number and proclaim myself as a great writer. It would be such a shame to waste such "nice" chapter.

Yes, that one was intentional. At this point in time, I did my best to make this chapter's lesson as thick as humanly possible.

Because and quote me on this: "a joke would not get any funnier if every dumbass did it."

Just like minion memes shared by boomers on phrasebook. They would inadvertently become useless and hated by everyone─outside a particular group in society, which would soon be as dead as the meme they posted.

This marked the end of the chapter, hope you guys had fun because I certainly did not.

See you soon, in another rant....happy reading.

And, yes, the story would continue soon. As it had always done. It certainly had to, otherwise, it would not be a novel.