6 Whatever It Takes to Survive

Clay:

With Lynne's inexperience, it was going to be tough, but this was an opportunity that we couldn't pass up.

I thought through the plan in my mind again, Lynne would exit the storage area and make sure there was nobody around. If the coast was clear I'd take the barrel and immediately go into the back alleyways. There, it would be a straight shot to a nearby forest where there's a river we can get water from.

If Lynne wasn't so weak we could take more than one barrel, but watching him carry it was just a depressing sight to see. He would struggle to get it off the ground and only be able to walk a few steps before having to put it down. With him carrying one, we'd surely get caught.

So, just before the sun began to rise we set the plan into motion. Lynne sneaked towards the door, cracking it open and glancing in both directions. He quickly motioned me to follow him and he dashed to the left alleyway.

I followed close behind him, the barrel hugged tightly against my chest as I dashed out the door. Though at this point I had only been carrying it for a few seconds, it felt like I had lugged it around for miles.

My body felt numb and exhausted, I was light-headed too. Every limb on my body cried out for me to stop, to put the heavy barrel down as my lungs squeezed together, refusing to let air in. The sting became too much as I abruptly placed the barrel down in the shadows of the alleyway.

"Clay? You needed a break?" Lynne turned to ask after the thump of the barrel hitting the concrete bounced off the walls of the barren streets.

"Da...mn." I gasped, trying to calm my breath as the fire in my lungs refused to fade. I knew if I was in top condition I could carry that thing for miles, no problem. Though, as I was now I was basically as useless as Lynne.

"It's ok, take your time and catch your breath," Lynne said gently, but I quickly whipped my head left to right.

He knew nothing about how this worked. The longer we stayed in sight, the more of a chance there was to get caught. I didn't want him back out, so I didn't tell him about what happens to kids getting caught stealing.

If you were a peasant, 1000 lashes wouldn't be uncommon. Though, that's only if the villagers decide to take it to the higher-ups. It was worse when they took matters into their own hands.

"We have to get moving," I whispered breathlessly, using the last of the breath I built up to lift the barrel again. I rushed past Lynne, taking as many steps as quickly as I could. We got to the end of the first section, now a crossroad of different shadowed paths to take.

I tried to break out of the crossroad, one dim, flickering streetlamp illuminating all of the garbage, dirt and grim laid out on the streets. But, before I could get away from that light I was almost toppled over by the weight I carried.

Before the barrel could fall and break, Lynne quickly extended his arms out to catch the weight and gently place it on the ground. "This is insane!" Lynne exclaimed. "You can't carry that thing any further."

My heart almost stopped as I lunged towards Lynne, clasping my hand around his mouth. "Are you an idiot!?" I spat in an aggressive whisper. "Keep your voice down or-"

Before I could finish my warning I could hear footsteps heading towards us along with deep, muffled voices. "Did ya hear something?" One of the men said, his voice muffled from their distance.

My eyes widened in horror as Lynne glanced at my expression with innocent confusion. "Oh, people. Maybe they can help us carry this."

I didn't have time to explain to Lynne how absolutely stupid he was. My heart raced as I grabbed the crate and ran forward past the crossroads. "Lynne! Come here!" I snapped, but by then it took too long to register.

"Yo, yo, yo! What's we gots here?" The man exclaimed, grabbing Lynne's blonde hair which was radiating from the street light, glowing within the shadows of the alleyway.

My stomach turned as the men surrounded him, it seemed like they were looking at Lynne. Not at the other places in the alleyway, just… Lynne. My body moved on its own, my feet slowly retreating into the shadows.

I didn't know him.

He meant nothing to me.

Whatever it takes to survive.

My mind went blank as I hoisted the rice barrel off the ground and bolted in the opposite direction. Though they weren't that far away, I could hear the men laughing. I could hear the panic laced in Lynne's voice as if they were miles away. Nothing but an echo in the distance.

I didn't turn back around to see what was happening, I couldn't bring myself to. Yet my imagination cooked up the most horrified, betrayed expression on Lynne's face as he saw me run away with the food.

The blood started to pound in my ears, making me unable to hear what was going on behind me. My chest hurt, not just from the strain of running, but something much deeper. A hurt I didn't think would just fade after some food and rest.

My head pounded as I thought over and over again 'it wasn't my fault', 'it wasn't my fault'. I rationalized my choice in my head as I ran, all of my thoughts consumed by it.

We would have both died if I stayed.

They would have taken the food.

I don't owe him anything.

The thoughts buzzed around so long they made me forget about the pain shooting through my body as I now dragged myself through the forest.

The sound of rushing water filled me with relief. I finally put the barrel down and crumbled onto the grass below.

I had food now. Without Lynne, it would last me much longer. I had fresh water next to me, enough to keep me hydrated until I could regain my strength. I had everything I needed to survive.

Yet I couldn't shake the overwhelming guilt taking over me.