39 I Want to Be Yours for Tonight

Lynne:

My body was on fire. It was taking every single fibre of my self-control not to jump all over Clay the minute he asked me if I wanted him. This shirtless hotty, in nothing but boxer shorts, was on top of me. I could feel my crotch pulsating as he ran his finger ever so lightly over it. I choked on my voice and had to grip the bed tight to stop my hips from bucking into the touch; I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from begging him for more.

"C-Clay…" I breathed, my voice carried by nothing but a longing breath. "Are you sure… you want to do this…?" After I asked I regretted saying it. What was I doing!? My dream was coming true right before my eyes, he asked me for sex! He asked me!

THIS WAS MY CHANCE TO ENSURE I WOULDN'T BE A WIZARD!

But… I had to be sure. I didn't want to do this if he wasn't in the right headspace. I didn't want to take advantage of his trauma for my own sexual desires. Maybe he was just looking to blow off steam, I just didn't want him to do anything he would regret later.

"What do you mean, am I sure?" Clay asked, his voice was a bit sharp as he withdrew his hand from my crotch. He sounded a bit hurt, rejected. I had to ensure that this was ANYTHING but a rejection.

"You just experienced a traumatic dream. You're stressed and hurt… Clay, I want this more than anything, but is this really what you want?" I explained and as soon as I did his defensive expression withered. I let him silently think for a few moments, my heart was pounding with anticipation. I wanted more than anything for him to turn to me and say yes. As soon as he confirmed with me that this was ok… oh the things I was going to do to that man…

"Why wouldn't I want this…?" Clay asked. It wasn't sarcastic… no. He was genuinely asking, I could tell he was vigorously searching inside of himself, trying to piece together his emotions into a story that would make sense. He was really trying to understand why I asked.

I tried to collect my thoughts so I wouldn't be embarrassingly rambling like I was before. At least this time I wasn't caught off guard so I could think about what I was going to say. "Right now. After the dream, you are obviously distressed. Some people react to that kind of stress differently, trying to forget what happened by replacing the bad feeling with a good one. Drinking alcohol, drugs… or sex…"

Clay seemed confused. More confused than before. "What's wrong with that?" Another genuine question, one so obvious that it would seem sarcastic if it was from anybody but Clay.

"Many things. First of all, it's a bad coping mechanism. It's just running away from your emotions, not dealing with them." I tried to explain while Clay's expression remained blank yet again.

"And… how am I supposed to deal with these emotions then?" Clay asked, his voice was laced with poison like it upset him I was pointing this out. "And what makes you think you know anything about it, anyway?"

"I don't," I admitted quietly. I didn't know what kind of trauma he was going through. I didn't know what it was like to have PTSD. I wasn't a psychologist, I only knew this stuff from the internet like Reddit posts and TikTok videos. I was talking out of my ass. I couldn't help him. "That's not the point," I said. "I just want to make sure you aren't going to regret anything… once you calm down."

Clay didn't speak for a while. He was looking down at the bedsheets, still in the same position as before. His leg was still pressed against my pulsating crotch, my heart was still pounding in my chest. Yet again waiting for Clay's next few words to decide if tonight would be a passionate night of heated sex… or a night of blue balls and disappointment.

"No," Clay stated, he sounded like he made up his mind. My heart dropped a bit when he said no. I guessed it was over, that I had officially ruined my chance… but at least Clay was going to be ok. That is... until Clay continued. 

"I won't regret this."

My heart fluttered as he looked me in the eye yet again, his leg pressing a little more firmly into my hardened joystick. I bit my lip again to not cry out, covering my hand over my mouth. "C-Clay… if you say that…" My voice was choked up again, I could barely warn him the second time. I felt like a wild animal, holding back my instinct to rip his clothes off.

"Lynne…" He said my name, low and husky, slightly out of breath. It drove me crazy. I wanted to make him say it like that again. "I won't regret this… because it's you Lynne. I'm your guard. I want…" He paused and looked away, his cheeks getting red. "I want to be yours for tonight… because I know you won't mistreat me."

I wouldn't mistreat him? He wanted to feel owned, in a positive setting. He wanted to feel vulnerable with somebody who wouldn't take advantage of it. Clay wanted to turn a part of his trauma into something positive. He was facing his emotions… in the best way that he could.

And I was more than happy to help him do that.

That was all I needed to know. I flipped Clay onto his back, grabbing his wrist and raising it above his head, pressing it against the bed. A light smile pulling at my cheeks at the small yelping noise he made. Now my leg was between his thighs, his crotch was hard too.

I started by kissing him, but this time I slipped my tongue between his parted lips. His mouth was awkward and stiff at first, but after playing with his tongue for a while he got the rhythm of it and swirled his tongue around mine. I pulled back to give Clay a chance to catch his breath, but when I pulled away, I heard the slightest whimper from the boy.

I kept having to remind myself to take my time. To enjoy the moment, don't rush. Especially since I was sure this must have been Clay's first sexual experience of any kind. I lowered down to begin kissing his neck, something that made the boy squirm. I could hear by his breathing that he was struggling to stop himself from making lewd noises. I wondered if I could make him lose his will to hold back his voice.

I was definitely going to try.

As my lips remained sucking on his neck, I ran my hand in circles down his chest with my free hand. One circle around each nipple, a circle around his belly button. The feeling of his abs against my hand made my breath hitch with excitement. Then, I slipped my hand under his shorts just grazing the top of his penis. Clay muffled a groan, his hips bucking against me seemingly without his control.

I was determined to make Clay feel better than he ever has before.