3 03; careful what you wish for

03

Careful what you wish for

"So, do you want to talk about the reason why you are here today?" Dr. Murray asked, after a few minutes of silence.

Harry went to his therapist office for a session during lunchtime, because he had a free period after that; he was seeing the doctor since he was sixteen, but none was aware of that, not even his family.

He was finding it hard to control his anger and, ashamed of his condition, he had decided to join that anger management program, for anger prevention and control.

"I snapped at my family, yesterday. Well, mostly at my sister." he said, trying to avoid any kind of eye contact with the therapist.

"And why did that happen?" Dr. Murray asked again, writing something on his notebook.

"Cause I'm a shitty guy." he simply answered, making the doctor sigh.

"Harry, we've been talking about this for over a year. And you are still using this sentence to describe yourself."

"Because it's the truth, Doc. I'm a fucking psycho. Scarlett doesn't deserve to be treated like shit."

He looked at his hands and clenched his fists, as if he was about to punch someone in the face, which he wanted to, actually: he wanted to punch himself so badly, to release all the anger he was feeling inside.

"Okay so, what happened? Why do you keep calling yourself with names?"

Harry sighed and finally decided to make eye contact with Dr. Murray.

"I accused her of sleeping with my best friend behind my back. But I used some pretty harsh words." he answered.

"You mean Ollie, right?" Dr. Murray asked again: it wasn't the first time that Harry was talking about him.

"Yeah. They're not even seeing each other, at least I guess, I hope. But it's not something unpredictable, I mean, I know my best friend: he's an arsehole who likes to fuck around, and my sister is not. She's popular and beautiful, yes, but she's not that kind of girl. She's... she's so pure and genuine, and I just want to protect her."

"Why do you always feel like you need to protect her?"

That was a really good question.

"I would say I must protect her. Cause I love Scarlett and I don't want unreliable guys to break her heart."

"You are an unreliable guy as well, based on what you have always told me." Dr. Murray clarified.

"Indeed."

"So, you're trying to protect Scarlett from those guys who are basically you. And by doing that, you're pushing her away from yourself as well."

Unbelievable: he had never thought about it like that.

He was trying to protect Scarlett from getting hurt by her own brother, basically, when he was the only one who was hurting her with his words and deeds.

"I know I just... I just feel really jealous of her, you know? It's not ordinary jealousy, I think it's something more but I don't know how to explain it. It seems like I can't figure it out on my own."

Dr. Murray crossed his legs.

"Harry, I think you are doing a great job by coming here and talking to me about your actions and thoughts. I've been trying to help you since you came in this office for the first time, I kind of agree with your decision not to talk to someone else about what you're feeling, I respect that. But I can't tell you what to do, I can't decode what's on your mind: you're the only one who is able to do that. And I think it's time for you to talk to someone in your family about what you're experiencing. You don't communicate, Harry, do you realise how bad is this for you?"

"So you're saying you don't want me to come in here anymore?" Harry asked, that time.

"No, absolutely! I'm just repeating what I've always said to you: talk to your family. Open up with your parents, with Scarlett. You can't just say that they won't understand, because I strongly doubt that." Dr. Murray answered.

"They would definitely freak out." he stated, convinced of his words.

"No, Harry, they won't. I'm sure of that, they're your family for a reason. They care about you, it's not that they are neglecting you."

The therapist was right, after all.

But Harry didn't want to appear weak in front of his own family: he was really, really stubborn.

"I gotta go, now. Thank you for your time, Doc." Harry stood up, reaching the door, and Dr. Murray smiled at him.

"Talk to your family, Harry." the therapist said, but he had already left the room.

That day Scarlett hadn't felt like joining her friends for lunch in the canteen.

Not that she was still mad at them for what happened the day before: she was over that drama already, but she was feeling moody since the fight with Harry, so much that that morning she had to go to school by bus, because she wasn't really talking to her brother; so, for some reason, she didn't want to talk to her friends either, to avoid snapping at them that easily.

She wasn't even in the mood to talk to Callum and play with him, because all she needed to do was staying alone for a while.

So there she was, sitting alone on the bleachers enjoying that sunny day, with the lunch she brought from home and the music in her ears.

She was about to change the playlist to listen to when she saw a shadow near hers, and she turned around, a bit annoyed, finding Ollie sitting next to her, with a smile on his face.

"Jesus Ollie, you scared me." she said, removing the earphones from her ears.

"I'm sorry." he said, chuckling.

"What are you doing here?" Scarlett asked him.

"I've got a free period after lunch, so I came here to run a bit." Ollie answered, showing her his workout clothes.

She simply nodded.

"What about you? Why aren't you inside with your minions?" he asked her that time.

Was it so odd that she wanted to spend some time alone?

"I just wanted to stay outside and enjoy the sun today." Scarlett muttered and Ollie nodded.

"I hope this has nothing to do with what happened yesterday. How are you feeling, by the way?"

"Great."

Now just go away and go for your stupid run.

"I'm glad to hear that."

She nodded again.

"You really are the queen of hiding things, you know that?" he mocked her.

"I thought you came here for running." she stated, looking at him in the eyes and making him chuckle again.

"You are so stubborn."

"Well, you are so annoying."

Ollie laughed at her words: all that not-wanting-you reverse psychology that Scarlett was using with him, was making him want her even more.

Because he was attracted to her as well.

"I'm annoying but you want to kiss me, right?" Ollie exclaimed and Scarlett immediately blushed.

"I don't think we should talk to each other anymore." she told him, standing up the second later, but he stopped her grabbing her arm.

Scarlett looked at him first and then at his hand on her arm.

"Oh come on Scarlett, we both know very well that you want that too." he stated, very confident of his own words.

The worst part was that he wasn't even wrong about that: but Scarlett, as proud and stubborn as she was, would have never admitted it.

Plus, she wanted so bad to make up with her brother and forget about all that drama the three of them were involved in.

"Let me go Ollie, please."

He did like she asked: he let her go.

"I know you feel the same as I do, Scar."

She closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks.

"It's... it's complicated Ollie. We can't." she said, after a few seconds of silence.

"Why? Because of your brother? Fuck Harry, Scar, he doesn't own you!" he argued her back and she knew he was totally right, but still.

"I can't, Ollie. I'm talking to someone."

Which was technically true, but it wasn't, at the same time: she didn't care about that Callum guy at all, because she liked Ollie, she was crazy about him and she had always been.

"No you don't, I don't believe you. You don't talk to guys, you hate talking to guys. You get fucking bored by them. And even if it was true, I don't give a shit about it. Cause I would have known for sure if you were feeling different towards me, but guess what? You're still talking to me."

That almost didn't make any sense, because she was kinda forced to talk to him since he was her brother's best friend: but once again, he was right.

And he knew her very well, apparently.

"Look, I don't care. You can't always think that what you say is law. I don't like you and I don't wanna kiss you! Accept that."

"But you just said that we can't kiss, that it's complicated cause your brother is involved, so you do feel something for me." Ollie insisted, making Scarlett roll her eyes.

"No! Stop it!" she said again.

"Okay, I will stop it. I will do it if you turn around and tell me that you don't feel attracted to me. Not even a bit."

Okay, he was basically asking her to lie: fact.

She turned around, trying to look at him in the eyes and talk without stammering, then she sighed.

"I'm not attracted to you. At all. Not even a bit." Scarlett finally managed to say, and Ollie's gaze became gloomy, somehow.

See what happens when you get disappointed by your own expectations?

"I think you're saying this just because you're scared of what Harry might do and say."

Scarlett sighed again: why wouldn't he just give up and drop that conversation for good?

"I'm going to be late for class." she said, looking at the time on her phone.

"Listen, go out with me. Just once. We can hang out for a bit and when you feel like you're done with it, I'll just take you home. But give me a chance. You know me Scarlett, I don't give up so easily."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow: was Ollie Burt showing himself weak in front of her? For real? No way.

"If you won't have a good time and if you won't feel anything yet, alright, I would give up at that point. But, on the contrary, we are gonna have to talk about it and see how to move forward."

He was making himself ridiculous in front of her, and deep down, she was enjoying it: he was practically begging her to go out with him.

She was feeling so powerful she was actually about to smirk; but, at the same time, she knew that she would have enjoyed that date because she liked him a lot already.

"I will think about it and I will get back to you." Scarlett said, before grabbing her stuff and leave.

He smiled, and so did she: she would have never give him the satisfaction of saying yes straight away; plus, she wasn't even sure what her answer would have been, but still, she got him.

At the end of that school day, Scarlett went out of class and startled, seeing Harry outside of the door waiting for her with his arms folded.

"Hey." he said, walking with her in the hallway.

"Hi." she said back.

"So, how come didn't you come with me this morning?" Harry asked her.

"If I did I would have been hypocrite since we're not talking to each other. I took the bus."

Harry nodded.

"Are you coming with me or not?" he asked then and she sighed.

"Alright, but just because it's faster and I'm feeling really tired." Scarlett answered, following him to his car.

Also, because she was already missing talking to him, even though he had really exaggerated the night before.

As soon as both of them entered the car, Harry apologised to her.

"Listen, Scar, I'm really sorry I snapped at you like that yesterday. I'm really trying to control my anger and my overprotection towards you, I know I've been an arsehole, and I promise I will try not to let that happen again."

She looked at him: he seemed truly sorry for the event and his apologies were sincere as well.

"Alright, apologies accepted. But please, you have to trust me, Harry. On everything. Don't snap at me immediately without even knowing my side of the story! Don't believe what you think you know, but most of all, don't believe what the fuck people say, okay?"

That time it was Harry who looked at her, nodding, and then a little smile appeared on his face.

"Okay, I will be more conscientious, I promise." he said and Scarlett smiled him back, before hugging him.

Surprisingly, it took them less than a day to make it up, but Scarlett was starting to feel a lot guilty because a few hours prior to that, Ollie had asked her out: so, not only she was feeling the anxiety and the pressure of whether to say yes or not to him, but also because they were doing it behind Harry's back.

Scarlett was tempted to say it to her brother, but she wasn't sure Ollie would have agreed with that, or better, he would have definitely not, so she decided to shut up.

After all, that so-called date between her and Ollie wasn't a big deal, was it?

During the entire route home Scarlett stayed quiet, and every time Harry asked her if there was something wrong, she kept saying no, that she was just feeling a bit tired; actually, she was still paranoid over the fact that she and Harry just made peace and, at the same time, she was thinking about going out on a date with his best friend, basically the same reason that made him angry and upset the night before.

Scarlett thought about Ollie's words as well: fuck Harry, he doesn't own you.

First of all, he was absolutely right; and then, why did the possibility of something going on between his sister and his best friend bother him so much?

Who was him to tell who to date and who not to?

She had fancied Ollie since forever and because of that, she had the right to agree to go out on a stupid date with him, period!

As soon as they arrived home, Scarlett went in her room straight away, to think about an action plan: should she had texted or called him?

"Of course I'm gonna say yes, I mean, duh! I have a crush on him since kindergarten!" she exclaimed, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Wait, am I going to say yes for real? I can't say yes today, Scarlett Marshall doesn't give answers immediately, what the fuck! Am I that lame when it comes to Ollie?" she said again: she knew for sure that she was going to say yes, but she just didn't want to tell him straight away, no matter how much she was dying to do that.

That's why Scarlett needed a sign, some bullshit she believed in to make her mind up and stop her paranoids; so she grabbed her phone, trying to make an impulsive gesture, but she didn't even have the time to unlock it because he called.

She opened her eyes wide: why the fuck was he calling her? Whatever.

She picked up the phone, impulsively.

Was she going to regret that?

Was that really the sign she was waiting for?

"Hello?"