115 Babysitting

Sitting cross-legged on the colorful floor mattresses, Tristan turned his head slightly, peering at Gabriel through the window wall for the nth time. And yet again, it seemed like his brother hadn't noticed his not-so-discreet gaze, not paying him any heed whatsoever. No matter how many times he glanced at him, the result was always the same.

Maybe that was to be expected. Gabriel was currently chatting with Masha and an unknown woman, who appeared to be a few years older than his brother. Tristan couldn't help but scrutinize her a bit longer, thinking that she somewhat looked familiar, as if he had seen her before. However, he couldn't recall when or where they had met—if they ever had. That wasn't very important, however. He was a lot more curious about what they were talking about.

But even if Tristan strained his ears, he couldn't eavesdrop on their conversation. Although he could see their mouths move, they sat around a table on the other side of the window wall, which muffled their voices. Consequently, he couldn't guess what they were talking about, though he felt like the topic wasn't anything joyous. Masha's somber expression said it all.

"Is playing with me that boring?" a voice asked in a deadpan tone, snapping Tristan out of his thoughts.

"No, no, it's not that…" the child mumbled, his cheeks turning pink. "I'm having fun, really."

"Is that so," Misha replied, propping his chin on his hand. "Then why are you peeking at Gabriel every second or so? He won't disappear on us, you know?"

"I know, it's just…. No, it's nothing."

Tristan averted his eyes before lowering his head, a few strands of brown hair falling upon his forehead. He stretched an arm, took a Lego block, which was almost as big as the palm of his hand, and placed it on another, continuing to build his Lego castle in silence. The exterior walls were nearly done, and it finally started to look like something. And yet, there wasn't a hint of a smile on the boy's face.

Letting out a discreet sigh, Misha rubbed the back of his neck as he watched Tristan play with the Lego blocks, his movements sluggish and slow. No need to be a genius to understand that the boy just told him a white lie. Something was obviously weighing on his mind, but what could Misha do? It wasn't like he could force him to open up.

'To start with, I've never been good with kids,' Misha inwardly grumped, wishing he could just ditch the boy and join the grown-ups at the table. 'And why the hell am I stuck with the babysitting duty?! So unfair.'

All right. Misha knew why, but it was still a pain in the butt. It wasn't because he looked like a child that it meant he enjoyed playing at the playground, and honestly, the one who was bored to death was him, not Tristan. However, he had a job to do and couldn't flee; he had to keep the boy here, using whatever means he could, while Gabriel, Masha, and Yuki discussed. Whether he liked it or not, that was the task that had befallen him.

Gabriel seemed to have something to ask Yuki from what he had understood, something that couldn't travel back to Angela's ears. Thus, Tristan couldn't hear what he had to say. With this in mind, Gabriel came up with the excuse of waiting for the dishes to send off the kids to the playground, telling them to play to kill time.

"Since the restaurant has an indoor playground, why not use it?" Gabriel had said with a smile, making Misha's mouth twitch.

'So, that's why you chose this place,' Misha thought with a snort. A month ago, Gabriel proposed to come to this restaurant precisely because of this peculiar playground, didn't he? Why? Because he bore in mind that if his stepmother indeed assigned him a chaperon for his next outing, it would probably be Tristan. Therefore, he needed an excuse to separate from his brother without appearing too suspicious, knowing the boy would unintentionally report it to his mother.

The first thing that Angela would do after they returned was to ask how their day had been and what they had done. Of course, Gabriel could ask Tristan to lie just like he did the night he went out to comfort Misha, but he didn't like the idea of burdening his little brother with lies and secrets, and when possible, he avoided that option. Besides, lying and deceiving people wasn't something he wanted to teach the boy. So it was better to keep his brother busy while he discussed sensitive topics with Yuki.

Leaving the children alone also wasn't problematic, nor was it worrisome. They could keep an eye on them through the window wall by sitting at a table near it, which Gabriel, Masha, and Yuki did. Moreover, there was Misha by Tristan's side, and that boy was technically the oldest person in the group. It was safe to assume that nothing would happen even if they were left alone.

Misha was thus tasked with babysitting the boy, leading to the current situation. However, he didn't know what to do, much less say, so they mostly played in silence. Misha knew he had a blunt personality, and it wasn't necessarily the best to handle small kids. Harsh words resulted more often than not in a burst of tears, and he sure as hell didn't want to deal with Tristan bawling his eyes out.

…But Misha also didn't like to see that dull light in the kid's eyes. It made his heart feel strangely itchy, and before he knew it, he opened his mouth again to say, "If something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it. I won't tell Gabriel, I promise."

"…You really won't tell him?"

"Yeah, pinky promise," Misha smiled stiffly, stretching one hand to lock their pinkies while hiding his other hand behind his back, crossing his fingers. Grown-ups lied all the time, ok?!

"Don't laugh, ok?"

"Ok," Misha nodded, mustering the most serious face he could.

"It's just that I have a lot of weird dreams lately…."

"Weird dreams?"

"Yeah. I often dream that I wake up in an empty bedroom, and when I walk around the house, I can't find Gabriel anywhere. Then, when I ask my mother or Jake where he is, they say no one named Gabriel lives with us. And while saying that, they have a strange expression on their faces, it's like, they've eaten something bad."

Tristan paused to poke the Lego castle, instinctively curling into a ball and putting his chin on his knees. He appeared to be lost in thought, but only for a moment.

"At first, I argue with them, asking where Gabriel is, but I stop after a while. Years seem to pass by in the dream, and I grow into an adult and forget about him. In the end, I don't even remember that I've got two big brothers, not just one. That dream, it…." Tristan bit his lower lip and hugged his knees, seemingly hesitating to continue. Eventually, he finished the sentence in a whisper, "It scares me so much."

Tristan took a deep breath and lifted his misty eyes to look into Misha's. "Then I wake up, and Gabriel is by my side. But even after waking up and realizing he's not gone anywhere, I still feel afraid. You know, I don't like it when he's too far away from me. I feel like he can disappear at any time if I'm not paying attention. I wonder why."

Unable to restrain himself anymore, Misha pounced on the boy and cradled him in his arms, hugging him tightly. Stroking his back as gently as he could, he spoke in a voice he hoped was soothing, "Don't worry, it's just a bad dream. Your brother won't disappear, and he's not going anywhere. He loves you too much for that! He'll never leave you behind, I swear."

As the words ran out of his mouth, they left a bitter taste in their wake. Who was he trying to fool? Ultimately, Gabriel turned his back on his brother for his and his sister's sake in both past lives. In a way, these dreams weren't that much of a dream.

"Yeah, I know. And I love my brother too! He's the best brother in the world! It's just… I can't shake off the feeling that he's about to go far away, to a place I can't reach. I can't help it! It's been like this since Christmas." The boy sniffled, adding in a whisper, "I'm weird, right?"

To this, Misha could say nothing. All he could do was hug the child tighter, silently praying that such a dream wouldn't repeat itself a third time. He had enough of people losing their loved ones because of him.

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Chapter revised on 2022-06-04

Edited by Clozed! ♥

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