Chapter 1: Homecoming

I didn't know mom had gotten a new car. It sat in the driveway, surprisingly shiny and out of place next to the brown grass and peeling paint. I had no idea what kind of car it was, but it looked like the ones the rich kids at my college drove so I guessed it wasn't that cheap. As if she had heard my thought, the door opened. Mom squinted for a second before telling me to park on the grass. No wonder the neighbors had tried to fine her for not sticking to the neighborhood landscaping and appearance protocol.

As I pulled onto the lawn, I cycled through the breathing exercises my therapist had given me. It had been months since I had seen her, good riddance, and the exercises were the only valuable thing she had given me. One of the soccer moms was jogging by but stopped to watch me, stretching her legs and watching with increasing horror. When I stepped out and locked the car, she smiled weakly.

I waved to her. "Hi, Mrs. Benson," I called out in my cheeriest voice.

She must've been as pleased as I was to be back.

"Lulu, you're back for the summer I see," she stuttered. She didn't come any closer, afraid the grass was contagious.

"Lu's going to help out at the cafe now," Mom said, ushering me in. "Go say hi to your sister and unpack as soon as you can. It's lunchtime rush now," she told me before going back to continue talking to Mrs. Benson about traveling plans and classes and camps.

Jesus Christ, she couldn't even let me have one day to rest before putting me to work. Part of me thought that she had wanted me back because she genuinely missed me. Instead of hanging out at the boardwalk and bookstore, it looked like I would be spending the summer doing dishes and taking care of the house. The inside was as messy as the outside; takeout menus and sheets of paper were piled everywhere, and the coffee table and dining table were covered with textbooks and empty mugs.

I let out a load groan, knowing I would have to clean everything up. Since I left for college, mom and Jenny had struggled to keep up with the cafe and the house by themselves. Jenny often sent me updates about what new catastrophe had happened alongside prayer hand emojis and "help" in capital letters. It had been funny when I was on campus and far away from the mess, but not now.

Seeing no point in trying to drag my luggage through the maze that was the floor, I started cleaning. I could hear Mrs. Benson and Mom chat-chatting away and the sound of a car pulling up. Mom opened the door and gestured at me to come in.

"What exploded in the house while I was away," I asked, taking off the gloves.

She rolled her eyes at me. "My dignity apparently. The neighbors had been nagging at me for months but I don't see any of them volunteering to repaint the place and water the lawn."

"You know rich people hate doing labor." She nudged me and rolled her eyes again but smiled. The Asian sign of approval.

The car parked outside was even nicer than the one in our driveway, but what really surprised me was who got out of it. Jenny stepped out, laughing at something the driver said. If this was a cartoon, my mouth would be on the floor.

"Holy shit, is that-"

"Don't swear and say hello to your sister." Mom pushed me forward.

Instinctually, I smoothed my shirt and looked for stains before realizing what I was doing. I thought it was a habit I broke out of when I was sixteen, but that reflex hadn't completely disappeared.

Jenny ran up and gave me a full-body hug. She hadn't grown since I left and the top of her head barely reached my shoulder. The driver pulled out his phone and took a picture, smiling apologetically at my raised eyebrow.

"She wanted me to get a pic of when you guys were reunited," he said, walking up. He gave mom a side hug and waved at Mrs. Benson.

Up close, he was even more disconcerting. He looked just like Jason, with the same golden hair, straight nose, and thin lips. They carried themselves the same way too, with a reassurance borne of their wealth and classical good looks. I had gotten plenty of practice with this look; a lot of the wealthy white kids, especially the guys, at my college brought the same atmosphere with them into a room. He was also dressed as if it wasn't summer and wore a leather jacket of all things.

Jenny, oblivious to my immediate dislike, pulled me closer to him.

"This is Xavier. He's-"

"You're Jason's little brother," I stated.

Jenny shot me an annoyed look. "I was also about to say that he's my boyfriend."

He laughed and I had to step back. Same laugh as his brother too. Something flashed in his eyes and his smile widened. Did he think I was so shocked by his good looks I had to step back or, worse, did he notice I was scared? His eyes trailed over my body, lingering on my face.

"You look so much like Jenny. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand.

I met his fingers reluctantly and shook it. They were warm and strong. "Yeah a lot of people say that."

"That's usually the first thing people say about me and Jason when they see me. Gets kind of annoying but then they tell me I'm better looking so it turns out all good in the end," he said. Jenny wrapped an arm around his waist and he pulled her in. God, they looked like some Abercrombie ad.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Jenny asked. "We'll clean up before you come in so you won't trip again."

"One time. That was one time," he laughed, tilting his chin in to look down on her. Mrs. Benson, mom, and Jenny all melted. "Unfortunately I have to go back and have dinner with my own family. Next time."

It was a statement, not a question and my hackles raised. He smiled again at me, teasing and daring me to say or do anything. "It was nice meeting you Lu. I'll see you next time Mrs. Cheng."

He kissed Jenny, drawing away as she leaned in, and strode back to his car. Mrs. Benson picked herself back up enough to smile at him and finally leave. The air was unbearably humid and I tried unsticking my shirt. Thirst burned my throat and my hair felt too heavy on my cheeks, but I couldn't bring myself to move. When he stopped, turning to smile at us before getting into the car, my breath caught in an exhale.

"I'll be sure to tell Jason you're back in town Lu. He's been meaning to catch up with you."

We went in, and Xavier's eyes lingered, mischievous and coldly analytical in his laughter. When he had smiled at Jenny, I had wanted to pull her away from him. Pull her from those eyes that looked at her as if he was calculating how he could get her alone. My friends would say it was the look of a passionate man, that if I was interested in others like they were, that I would understand. But I wasn't stupid. I knew the difference between desire and hunger. Between one that was reciprocal and one that wanted to consume their partner. I thought the last time I would ever see it was in high school.