1 Chapter 1

I hate Sundays. I hated going to church and listening to bullshit. If God really so loved the world he wouldn't have made it full of hate and motherfuckers, full of idiots and lowlives but who cares what I think. I'm not God and heaven knows if I were things would be a hell of a lot different.

"chaya"

"yes mother"

"Get your ass out of bed right now, we'll be late for service. Did you clean your room, why do I bother of course you didn't and let me guess you havent done the dishes either oh God knows sometimes I wish I had another daughter. Get down here now!!!"

"coming mother"

like I said I hate Sundays.

....

"And with this communion, let your sins be washed away by the blood of Christ and your faith renewed in Christ...." I tried to drown out the preacher's voice. I'm not big on Religion or God. Oh i did believe. I believed that there was a higher force that controlled all we do and think and say. I believed that there was something, someone that had created the world and all life as we know it. So in a way I did in fact, believe in a God. He was the one responsible.

I was never as pretty or as sporty or as smart as the other guy. I simply wasn't the best at anything. I wasn't known for anything, just wandered the earth and life trying to rind my place and whose fault was that well who else...God. He made me this way. Short and almost beautiful with acne face and honestly I'm not even sure what my skin colour is anymore and to add to my woes, he placed me in the midst of people who dont appreciate me, could never understand me and made it their mission to bring me down. Except my dad, he's pretty cool and I guess a few of my friends but everyone else was a giant douche bag. I'm pretty sure the entire world hated me and so did God. He my friends may just be the biggest douche bag of them all.

I mean wasn't he supposed to be the most powerful being ever known. He had enough power to make me perfect or at least happy, so why didn't he. why did he want me to suffer. what did I ever do to him.

"why dont you just ask him" the brunette seated behind me whispered into my right ear.

Holy shit. Did I really just say all that out loud.

"Dont you wanna know what he might say" she whispered again.

"excuse me" I whispered back startled, tilting my head slightly backwards to catch a tiny glimpse of her Chery red lipstick smeared perfectly across her lips in a smile.

"I mean him" she pointed over to the guy seated two rows forward, who I had unconsciously been staring at during my brief daydream.

"you should ask him to LATS day" she whispered again.

LATS day. it was the christian form of valentines. my mother would never let me attend