6 Chapter 6: Sorry is for Cowards

Two more weeks elapsed under Errik's tutelage. Veretta was starting to gain confidence. She felt like they really had a chance of defending the village. Though Errik would always be there, it was some relief to have something to fall back on.

Though he had instructed them well and the poor energy from before had gone, it still seemed like he had a wall up. There was a line between them and him. And even though there were many things she did not know about him, Veretta felt somewhat disappointed by this distance.

Nevertheless, she decided not to think about it too heavily. They hardly knew each other in truth. Not everything can be solved easily... No, not solved. Veretta chastised herself inwardly. He was not another school project or solution to be found. He was there for a purpose and the line between was there for a reason. It should not be crossed.

Early in the morning, Veretta awoke feeling energetic to renew their lessons. As usual, Errik was already awake on the cusp of setting off as soon as dawn arrived.

"Why don't you have breakfast first?" Veretta asked, seeing him at the door.

He turned back with a blank expression. Veretta felt somewhat embarrassed by his reaction. Was it so bad to join her for breakfast just once? However, in spite of his reaction, to her surprise, he sat back down across from her. It had been a while since the two of them spent some time alone.

"Can I ask you something, Errik?" she said as they partook of the silent meal.

Errik nodded without meeting her gaze.

"Do you remember anything more...from the past?" Veretta had been wondering for a while exactly how much he remembered. If she knew it could have given her some clue into his mind but she hadn't found the time to ask.

Errik stared down at the bread on his plate. Though he had taken it obediently, he had yet to take a bite. Veretta thought she saw something like annoyance flicker across his eyes, but slowly he met her gaze with a small smile.

"I remember some things," he replied reticently.

Veretta wondered if she ought to push him any further. He already seemed irritated though he hid it quite well.

"Nevermind," Veretta shook her head. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,"

Errik's hazel eyes scrutinised her with a sharp gaze. Veretta averted her gaze. Was he angry?

"If you want me to tell you, you can ask," he said, "but it won't be a matter of whether I want to tell you or not,"

Veretta's eyes came up hesitantly, "What do you mean?"

"Just as I said," he replied indifferently, "do as you like,"

Veretta's brow furrowed uncomprehendingly. "So, If I ask, you'll tell me, even if you don't want to? Is that what you are saying?"

"Exactly," he gave smile that didn't reach the eyes, "So, ask,"

She still understand but she decided to take him on his word, "What do you remember?"

"You'll have to be more specific," he tapped the table impatiently.

"Your name?"

"I don't remember that,"

"Your family?"

"I don't remember that either,"

"Your magic?" Veretta asked with growing tension.

"That seems to be second nature. I couldn't forget it if I wanted to,"

"Then your time as a wizard in the Empire?"

"I remember bowing before cold eyes. A tower that felt like it was strangling me and birds flying in across a blue sky,"

"You don't remember anything you did?" Veretta asked in a low voice.

"Why don't you tell me what it is I am supposed to have done?" Errik said sharply, "Then I'll see whether I can remember or not. Since you seem to know everything already anyway,"

Veretta glanced up at him guilty. His brown eyes were as usual without a hint of softness. She had gone too far. She already knew it.

"I'm sorry, Errik," Veretta exhaled uneasily, "I don't mean to pry,"

"But you do anyway," he replied, "You may as well own it. Sorry is for cowards,"

Veretta's eyes widened. "Are you angry at me?"

"I'm not," he replied flatly.

"Okay then," Veretta brought her eyes back down to his uneaten, "aren't you hungry?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Do you want me to eat?" Errik gave a cold smile.

"I suppose?" Veretta flinched under the severity of his gaze.

He pulled the bread to his lips and tore a chunk out of it. He continued until he had finished it in its entirety. Veretta watched him disturbed but didn't say a word. After the meal, they went out to the forest in silence.

Veretta was glad when the others arrived a little later. Despite his hostility before, Errik taught the lesson in his usual collected manner. Veretta began to wonder if she had misconstrued their early interaction in some way.

At some point during the late afternoon, Tomas turned to Errik frustrated, "I can't get it to go more than a foot ahead,"

He gestured down at the faint line in the snow with agitation, "If I just used actual magic I could tear that damn tree in two!" he declared.

Errik glanced over at him, "Then do it,"

Tomas' eyes widened, "Fine," he said shrug.

He held out his hand and began to gather the energy at his fingertips. At that moment, Errik flew forward in a flash and struck Tomas in the stomach. Tomas keeled over with a gasp.

"The fuck?!" he wheezed.

Veretta and Charlotte looked over startled finding Tomas' keeled over in the snow.

"He just hit me for no reason!" Tomas exclaimed.

Errik stared down unmoved, "Do you know why I was able to punch you?"

"Because you took a cheap shot!" Tomas spat.

"If you had been using your mana, your life force, to defend as you should, I wouldn't have been able to hurt you. If you can extend your magic onto your sword how easy do you think it would be to protect your own body?" Errik looked down coldly. "Throwing your magic about without any control is useless,"

"So, you hit me to prove a point?" Tomas' eyes came up furiously.

Errik shrugged with a smile, "Pain is the best lesson. This way you won't forget again,"

Tomas rose unsteadily. He glanced at Charlotte and Veretta with a frown, "I'm going back for today," he grunted and set off.

"Tomas?" Charlotte called after him but he didn't turn back.

"Did you really need to hit him again?" Veretta turned to Errik with agitation.

Errik tilted his head to one side apathetically, "You ask me to teach because you want to fight when this army arrives, right? This is the fastest way,"

Veretta clenched her fist, "but you didn't need to do that,"

Errik stepped towards her with dark eyes, "You have to make your mind up. Either you want to fight or you don't,"

"Of course I'm going to fight!" Veretta returned indignantly.

"Why?" Errik stared down with severe eyes, "Isn't that why I'm here, so you don't have to get your hands dirty?"

"You are here because..." Veretta paused and glanced waywardly at Charlotte who was watching apprehensively.

"I should go check on Tomas," Charlotte gave a weak smile.

Veretta was about to stop her but Errik blocked her way.

"You brought me back and my life is yours," he said flatly, "just tell me what it is that you want. I can't read your mind,"

"I already told you," Veretta said stiffly, "I want you to protect the village..."

"Then why are you so eager to fight?" Errik said with a smile.

Veretta's eyes widened, "because..."

"It's as your little friend said," Erric looked ahead with a deadpan stare, "You already have magic, enough to protect you at least,"

"I want..." Veretta's jaw clenched, "I have to make sure Silthus doesn't get away this time,"

"This time?" Errik's shrewd eyes returned to Veretta.

She shrunk from his gaze, "I think that's enough for today."

She pivoted swiftly on heels, "please, don't hit my friend again," she said in a low voice and took off.

Veretta left Errik standing behind in the snowy clearing. She could feel his eyes burning into her as she disappeared down the trail. She found her way to the cottage with a pit in her stomach. The door wasn't quite closed properly and she heard a snippet of conversation from within.

"It's weird, Charlotte," Tomas said in a strained voice. "Who is he? I've never heard of him."

"If Veretta trusts him, then we should too," Charlotte replied.

"Ordinarily, I would agree with you but what if he's deceived her?" Toms said quietly, "you know she hasn't been the same since..."

Veretta stepped into the cottage with a brisk step. The conversation stopped abruptly. Tomas and Charlotte looked up nervously. Veretta inhaled deeply as she stood in front of them. She gave a weak smile.

"I'm sorry," she said sadly, "this is my fault,"

"Why would it be your fault, Veretta?" Tomas' brow furrowed.

"I..." Veretta's eyes fell.

"Veretta," Charlotte shook her head, "This isn't your fault. But honestly, I don't think Errik is entirely wrong,"

Tomas shot her a bewildered look.

"What I mean is," Charlotte said calmly under his gaze, "Errik is strict with us because he knows a lot about battle, "

"That may be true," Tomas frowned impatiently, "Even still, if we are going to fight, is this going to be enough?"

"Well," Charlotte shifted uncomfortably, "It looked like in the forest, Errik was trying to tell you, Veretta that maybe this isn't such a good idea?"

Veretta stared at her with a dark expression, "What are you saying?"