Christmas came faster than I expected but everyone was smiling at the busy days, it was hardfor them to prepare their presentation to some cameras and wait until was aired to see from their social media how much the Army liked it.
Something they are found of was hearing the public cheers and sing along with them, to go crazy with their dance performances and throw flowers or gifts at any given noment. Every time they realized how much they loved that part of their life as idols, not just working until all the details were properly executed by training with other people.
They couldn't be with their family because their time was gold after so much time thinking new forms to promote their products. Yoongi was totally focused on go and be with the rest of the group for new year's eve concert. I watched it from home and was excited with all the artists when the boys got home , they recorded it just a moment before since they were the last presentation of the year but they didn't know that I paid my link and was having dinner at the main room as my account was setup on the big TV so I was totally distracted seeing the concert in life but apparently with a little delay because the was some edition to put some effects by computer into the presentation.
They somehow wanted to see it and a someone of the staff, decided to film them so I had to move around and see it from a distance. I gave them a piece of my mind since I paid for the concert properly and they decided to make a little bom about their reaction when they used to record it later but since they arrived on time to see it the brilliant idea was to ruin my night. I just went to my apartment and put Liam to sleep since we ate dinner a little late because I was wondering how to see the concert on the big TV the guys have.
I got a book but the bad feeling made me realize that I wasn't reading with enough attention so I didn't avanced much. The love story was unexpectedly awful to give the characters an interesting and unique quality that I liked but I wanted to go down and close my account because it was my right...I guessed it was difficult for the boys to see me like that because the others workers had the brilliant idea of running my night. My family was far away enough to have half day until the night time to celebrate the event of New Year.
I need some fresh air and noticed that some minutes later the city decided to burn money on a beautiful display of colorful fireworks that illuminated the sky. Someone came to the terrace but I wasn't in a great mood actually I wanted kick out of the apartment who ever wanted to disturb my peacefully night, it got ruined even if they were on the wrong side because they have been there and I was happy to finally see the seven together on the stage.
I cursed in Spanish lowder but tonight probably nobody was at home to heard my voice in the middle of the night. Probably everyone was celebrating it but I was angry, frustrated and upset enough to let my tears roll down. I wanted Darren to be with me now he knew how to make me forget about the world and the unfair behavior of the human kind. For the first time I realized how much I miss him and how much love I have left inside me for him.
I felt long fingers finding his place on my back, it carefully carresed from one shoulder to the other. It is a secret of mine to be unbelievable seduced by a respectful hand rummaging on my back side. I involuntary responded to the touch arcing my body to feel more his hand and not just a hesitant finger of touching me, I sighed closing my eyes getting confort from a stranger so I opened them again to see who was there.
Yoongi was bitting his lower lip again the colors of the fireworks show on his eyes like mirrors, I didn't know he was the one behind me but couldn't stop my tears. They would find their way out because I was so upset since a long time that tonight I broke up my usual calm down personality, unfair behavior was the only point to revolve my feelings enough to make them flood out wild.
Frustrated and sad about the situation and don't wanted to put people on a uncomfortable situation because one person and a tired group that have been working for I don't know how long so today was performed as planned.
- I will have my money back, and not from the company or the group members. I realized nobody could imagine me supporting you because I wanted to enjoy myself your hard work an talent. I wanted to see you sing along your team and being on the stage after you released the new album.... I wanted to cheer and enjoy the performance...How do feel about it?- I asked I think I mixed-up languages because I don't have a good Korean level to say what I desired.
- It was ...sad...it felt like doing an MV, just us, the staff and cameras. There wasn't cheers for us it felt quite lonely and also I couldn't do much just be there said my lines in one song and see my friends dance and perform properly I didn't know much I wanted to be with them because I worked so hard on the songs and I felt a little out of place because I can't do more...
He was unexpectedly open to voice his feelings about it because he usually keeps everything from everybody, he was also working on that because his personality hardly shows off and people find him distant and quiet or rude.
I kissed him lightly on the lips before realizing my thoughts and actions and I jumped backwards as if he was fire, - So sorry I don't know what made do that....I....I can't believe what I did...I just... I need to be alone..forget about it ..I'm sorry it was my mistake...It won't happen again..never again- I blurted totally confused about it, it was soft but I refused to bring back the memory of the short incident. I was far enough to reach the protective wall of the terrace.
We jumped a little over the door being opened and Jimin bringing some glasses of wine, Yoongi took one and gulped it all down I was frozen but they got back inside. I took a moment to calm down and walk to the bathroom to wash my face.
I finally got down and the were some people having fun and I didn't feel like celebrating, I felt Yoongi stare but I tried not to stare back. Hoseok like always sensed something for he was paying attention to his friend as I seated on the island out of view.