1 1 - The goodbye

- John, you can't go. I have a bad feeling about this, my mother pleaded once again, trying to convince my father not to leave.

- Clarice dear, you always have these feelings, and I always come back, don't I? - My father spoke with confidence but with a bit of trepidation in his voice

- John please, I need you here, Milly, help me convince your father.

- I'll be back, I promise- he wiped away a tear that rolled down my mother's cheek and they kissed.

- You're going daddy? - I finally said

- Now honey, take care of your mother for me, okay? - he said in my ear.

I just shook my head saying yes. My father hugged me and said a little "I love you" in my ear. After that my mother left the kitchen and my father left.

I went into the bedroom where my mother was crying desperately. I sat down beside her on the bed and started stroking her hair.

- It's going to be okay, Mom, I'll keep you company," I said, and she gave me a sad smile.

She hugged me and held me tighter and tighter in her embrace.

Days later...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

There was a frantic knock on the door, it seemed to be something very urgent, I let my mother answer it and continued lying down but without sleeping. I kept noticing the small room where we slept, it had little furniture composed of: two beds and a small closet that my father built. I wish I could take my family out of that poverty one day.

- King's messenger! - a man shouted from the door.

- Yes," my mother said softly, "what can I do for you?

- Is this where the Montequiseu family lives?

I heard no answer from my mother, only the door close, I stood up and put on my sandals and went towards the small kitchen, my mother was standing with her back to me. I get closer to see what she is doing and she runs into the room dropping a piece of paper on the floor.

Before going to check on my mother I picked up the paper from the floor. From the little I could read I could understand.

Dear Montequiseo family, King Michael and the whole kingdom of Gharnes are sad to tell you that the beloved soldier John Montequiseo died in the last battle against the kingdom of Anibis. We feel very proud of soldier Montequiseu who honored all his years of battle.

Our condolences to his family.

I couldn't believe what my little eyes had read. An immense mixture of anger, sadness and longing overcame me. I started to cry and went to check on my mother.

Apart from the fact that we had been informed of something so shocking in a letter, I found those "condolences" so insignificant.

Mom was in the small room and I went to support her, knowing that she needed it and that I was the only one there to do it.

I looked to her for strength to carry on, knowing that now life would be much harder for us. A family that has no one rendering services to the king was like a useless family.

It was like an exchange, we worked for the Kingdom and it gave us a better condition of life.

I was just a child and I didn't really understand, I told my mother all the time that everything was going to be all right, that we were going to get through this together, but she went beyond my knowledge and knew that life was going to be much more difficult for us.

- It's not going to be okay! - Stop saying that a million times! It's not going to be okay! We're going to starve to death - she shouted even louder.

The tears that had been a few before came flooding back at that moment, I knew deep down that she was sad and hurt and said it without thinking, but those words hurt me more than they should have.

- Oh no! I'm sorry my love, I'm sorry... I'm just not as well as you can imagine," she said after I started to cry.

I was sitting on the bed and she knelt in front of me holding my face between her hands.

- We'll make it," she said, "together!