1 Chapter One

It is a sunny morning of January 12, 2018. I woke up, took a bath and made my way to school. Funny how everything changes at this very day every year. I can freely hear the birds chirping and wind rustling through the leaves.

My mom used to say I liked playing under the sun. And I feel bad thinking that my Mom is lying about that. 'cause right now, I hate it. Every single day.

I don't talk much about my hatred towards the awful weather, but I guess moms have their ways of knowing something. On one humid day in school while I rummaged my bag for something to give me shade, I found a new umbrella. The smell of the material almost made me puke but then I appreciated my mom more that day.

I have been living my whole life inside a dull house. But I never complained. My mom goes to work and I go to school, and we don't usually see each other often on weekdays. My Dad is doing his usual stuff and goes to the office. We never got to travel during holidays nor visit parks like what usual families do, but it wasn't much of a big deal.

The cold breeze had my soul swaying and I just feel lightheaded. People always ask me, what is your dream? Mom answers it all the time, "she will be a doctor."

But in reality, I don't really know.

Ah maybe I have one now.

Ever since I was kid, I was am so fascinated about the clouds. So if you ask me now, I really want to fly.

But I just can't. Human nature tells us so.

Today is just different and maybe this is just the day when I appreciate my existence. Hola. It's Elijah's birthday.

"Ahh. This is life and I hope this is every day," I whispered. I closed my eyes and inhaled the air that I will surely need to avoid suffocating inside school. I guess just like every kid, I hate school. I hate reading. I hate books. I hate the pressure. I hate the fact that I need to study well to satisfy my Mother's thirst for excellence. I just hate pretense.

I hate pitying people.

Every single day, you walk with people flashing their a-hundred-million-dollar-smile; talking about their extravagant stay in an expensive hotel in Thailand. Others may feel the jealousy and insecurity. But then, I can't stop feeling sad. Despite all of the things they have that I don't get to experience, their beautiful smiles don't reach their eyes. Just like mine.

And every day, I always see to it that I show what I truly feel. For my life isn't a TV show full of acting expertise.

When I entered the school gates, random people greeted me a good morning. In return, I smiled. I am tired of this routine but then my mom used to tell me I need to protect my image. "Be the perfect girl everyone is insecure of. Then you will keep your place."

"Happy birthday Eli." I nodded and thanked them for the greeting. I just realized that my birthday is making a great fuss and as usual, everybody knows. I turn my phone off every time I go to school. Sometimes, I want and need to be alone. Even though I always feel that at home.

After I put my bag on my designated seat, I went to the broom box. This is a very usual routine of a Filipino student. Before classes start, we need to clean the room and the surroundings first. Other people may think this routine has made a difference in our lives. On some, maybe that happens. However, I know that we don't do this out of willingness. We just wanted to avoid paying money for neglecting our so called, "responsibility".

"Hey." I got startled by a deep voice, stopping me from doing my task.

"Hi." I smiled as I raise my head and watch him walk across the room.

"You're early today."

"Is it weird? I am always early." I stated in a slightly uninterested tone.

He chuckled at my remark. I wonder how he does that. Every single person in this room is his friend. Except me maybe. He easily laughs with everybody that makes me think about how he does that.

"No. But I guess you're early because of something."

I silently smirked and continued sweeping the tiled floor. I was already near him and I was about to sweep the dust under his feet.

"Happy birthday El."

I stopped my tracks because of the sudden feeling of shyness. I never told anyone about it. And I don't need to. "Thank you Jay. I didn't know you knew."

Jason was a known charmer. He usually smiles to everybody, befriends everybody, tells everybody goodbyes earning him his good reputation. Everybody likes him. May it be the teachers or students. Add to it the extreme looks and personality. He can be perfect in his own little way.

He smiled and got himself his own broom and started sweeping the dust I didn't finish sweeping. "Well, I have this weird skill. I can remember a lot of things. And who wouldn't know right? The great Elijah just turned sixteen."

Why is he cleaning? Today is Friday. His schedule is Tuesday as far as I can remember.

"I'm not great and by the way why are you cleaning? This isn't your schedule." I looked at him with a questioning look. He is sweeping fast that he almost did all the work.

He stopped in his tracks and slowly looked away. Before he was able to hide his expression, I was able to capture the sudden redness on his face. He is blushing.

He just looked away and continued doing my task. He did most of my sweeping than me myself. I was just standing in a corner looking at him. He even got my broom and brought it back to the box where it is kept. He is pretty weird. We never had any conversations before.

At 8 am, everyone is present in class. By having Roque as my surname, my seat is located at the back portion of the room.

I was silently minding my own business when I caught Jay looking at me from the opposite side of the room. As our eyes met, he was suddenly startled and ended up pushing his water bottle to the ground.

That made everybody stop whatever we were doing. His bottle created a loud noise, disturbing our teacher's momentum on her topic.

"Mr. Elizaga. Are you alright?" asked by Mrs. Montalban.

"Yeah. Uhm sorry."

His bottle created a mess, which made me pity him. I wanted to help but he was excessively far from my seat. At first, he was cringing as he looked at the wet floor but later on smirked when his best friend, James, laughed at him.

"Miss! I know the reason why he dropped his bottle. Jay was so busy looking at someone. The reason why he got himself into a mess." James continued laughing his heart out as Jay started to mop the floor.

"Who is he looking at? I bet it's someone with a name starting with N." Tease by Jessie, Nicole's friend. Everybody screamed as the teasing started.

Nicole Cordova was teasingly pushed towards Jay, who is sitting one seat away from her right. Jay has always been teased with Nicole. Since the beginning, everyone started to tease them into each other for they were so compatible. I, myself, admit that they look so good together. Like a puzzle.

Nicole having that sleek straight black hair, nice tan, big brown eyes and talent, you wouldn't wish for anything else. She can dance well, sing well, and even act well during plays. She is the perfect girl everybody desires. I hate to say this but, I envy her. She gets the life she wants and the life she deserves. Maybe the perfect guy too.

As they were busy teasing the two, my best friend Aubrey leaned over to me to whisper. "I bet he's looking at Nicole. Why can't they just date already? Such wimps."

I smiled and nodded my head. Yes, they should do that. 'cause everybody does that too. At this age, everybody dates anyone. They kiss or make out everywhere. But I don't do that. My friends and I don't do that. I can never explain the face that my Mom would give me if she knows I do those things.

I simply turned my head down and scanned our notes. This subject has been eating a big portion of my time. I grimaced when I just realized how late this subject would get. I hate being late.

After Aubrey whispered to me, Paula my other best friend turned towards me and smirked. As she was sitting in front of me, it was so easy to look back and go talk about random stuffs. She is very determined to talk to me. I don't really talk back often.

"Well, I don't want to burst anyone's bubble Eli. However, I know Jason Elizaga was looking at you. Bro I caught 'im." She wiggled her brows as she whispered to me. She then sat properly and faced front. 'cause she knows what will happen if the teacher catches her.

I turned my head, never minding Paula's remark. But then as I scanned the laughing faces of everybody, I caught a pair of brown eyes staring at me.

Then I just realized Paula was right.