3 faces of a haunting past

I spend my days laughing, drinking and joking about everything to cover my scars.

when night time comes the faces follow, I see my grandpa I hear screams I see kids and blood all over the scene, the people look to me from all over and ask me to join them soon.

when I was a teenager I almost did I wanted to leave this world I live, but the thing that stopped me is what I have accomplished, the sense of nothing that fills me full, the sense that I did nothing. Leaving this earth is a blessing and a curse I have always seen it that way and it's why I live on happy earth.