1 Introduction

My heart beeps on the monitor. No sudden moves no sudden sound. Cried as a sleeping baby I wanna get up and go. I don't wanna be that girl who has health issues nor mental issues. So sad so depressed Anxiety is just fucked up it is like nothing seems to work no meds I spit them out or flush them.

Too nasty to swallow. I wanna be loved I wanna be seen I don't wanna be that girl in the background who just sits in the dark, the one who likes the inside. Not to worry about people judging you It's so calm when you're alone and peaceful. No one around to see those scars that you put against your arms your legs. Dying is not an option my parents say "Starr dying is not something you wanna do what would god think if you killed yourself".

blah blah blah blah God this god that sometimes I feel like being saved was worth for nothing. My brain feels so numb in this hospital bed it was just an accident Not like I tried to OD again. I just wanted to burn my room down no big deal ugh.

The doctor walks in "Your mighty lucky the fire didn't spread you better be careful next time in ahead of time I think you should be on suicide watch in this hospital since this isn't your first time" Said the doctor with worried eyes.

Yea well Neither is being in the perfect family. Family of four and, I'm the youngest so less time with my mother and father. June and Omar

Was childhood friends, Never married, Had Noah and, Me. Noah is my older brother addicted to weed, but likes to party, and yet he still cares about the family.