38 Intermission - 5: Questions of Faith

(Rattatak)

(? PoV)

Blood gushed out from my finale blow, the last of the raiders falling at my feet, rage still plastered to his ugly face. I gasped for breath as the adrenaline of the situation finally left my body. There had been so many this time, more than any other. My sword arm felt weak from swinging the blade for so long, it could only hang limp as I walked away from the pile of dead bodies that surrounded me.

We were lucky to survive this time.

My knees felt weak and my feet were heavy as I made my way over to my master. He was already leaning against a piece of the building we had been in when this all started. First they had tried to take us out with rockets and explosions, luckily Master had been able to feel the attack coming and get us both to cover.

It had been an uphill battle from then on. I hadn't been training with him for too long, but it had been enough for me to finally have an impact on the fight. I had been able to take down 10 of the raiders while the rest were dealt with by Master.

I had almost gotten distracted a few times in my own fight as I watched the power of the weapon he wielded, his lightsaber. The sword could cut through any obstacle, fell any raider that crossed it's path. I couldn't wait to get my own, Master said I would get one someday. I couldn't wait.

Finally making my way closer, I succumbed to my tiredness as I flopped on to the rubble next to him. He sent a small smile my way, a peaceful look in his eyes, but I had been with him long enough now. I could see the sweat that gathered at his brow, the struggle he had at not taking deep breaths of air.

He was just as tired, maybe even more so than me. He had taken more than 50 of them down by himself, moving from target to target using the force, something I still had to master. But I would. I would make him proud.

It was in this state of tiredness that I couldn't help but look at my master once more. It had been so many years since he had picked me up, but at the same time not long at all. His haggard face didn't always looks so old, I wonder when it started to get all the wrinkles.

Even his brown hair and goatee were starting to get a little grey tinge to them. I had asked his age before but he had never given me a proper answer. Though I didn't mind, the only thing I did mind was his pony tail, he could do so much better.

That small thought brought a smile to my face, something that didn't go unnoticed by him. The smile on his face turned a little brighter, but he said no words. We stayed like that for another few minutes.

I knew we would have to get moving soon, keep ahead of the warlords and all, but right now I just wanted…needed to rest. I knew he could see this in my eyes, but he still got up in the end. "It's time to go young Padawan."

I wanted to roll my eyes at the word, I did have a name you know. Though I had learned after the first few years it was 'tradition' for the Jedi to use such words, and to not form attachments, I couldn't help forming one with him.

He had been my carer for half my life now, I may have started to call him Master to please him, but he would always be Ky to me, sometimes I got away with 'Master Narec' when he was in a good mood. I knew he secretly liked that one, he always brightened up when I said that.

Forcing my body to once again righten itself, we quickly made out way out into the jungle that surrounded us. It wasn't long before I heard the tell-tale sound of air transports moving in on where the battle occurred.

The warlords had been getting more organized recently, maybe we had been doing such a good job they were working with each other? I hope not….no I mustn't think like that. Ky said a Jedi doesn't back down from any odds, the two of us should be enough to take them down, to finally rid them from the galaxy.

But I couldn't help but think at the same time as I followed him through the jungle. 'Why didn't the Jedi just send more to help.' If not to help the people as they said, at least to help one of their own order. A little spike of anger wormed its way through my heart, but I forced it back. A Jedi shouldn't give in to anger. I had been told multiple times.

It was when I bumped into the person my thoughts centered around that I realized he was looking at me, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was doing that Jedi thing again, the one where he knew what I was thinking.

I hated that one.

A small frown was on his lips but I played it off, trying to move past him, get back on track, get back to the mission, our self-imposed one…

His hand gripped my shoulder, a little pressure to tell me to stay in place. I didn't say a word as my head dropped, a little in shame… a little to hide the anger still on my face. "What's wrong Padawan." My hands balled into fists, once more with the name.

Why did he want to make this impersonal! To distance himself?!

I couldn't help my burst of emotions as I finally turned to him, the adrenaline leaving my system completely, my emotions running high from the previous battle, and brain strung out from the consecutive battles we had over the last few days, more than what we usually get in a month.

"Why haven't the Jedi sent help!"

The damn had burst, once the words came out I couldn't stop them.

"Why did they leave you stranded on this planet!"

"Why won't they help a planet so clearly in need when they 'guard the peace' of the entire damn galaxy!"

"Surely they know about our mission through the 'all connecting' force."

"They have to get off their asses to help! It's what they're trained for!"

"It's…it's…..it's not fair that we have to do this all by ourselves, while they…*Hic*…while they get to sit back and relax in their comfy temple…."

*Hic* "Why do they have it so easy." *Hic*

His strong arms wrapped around my shoulders, as the rest of my body failed me. It was almost an out of body experience as I sat there on my knees, him gently running his fingers through my hair, I could feel his presence start to calm me through the force, wrapping me in a warmth I so desperately needed in that second.

The anger… the desperation…the fear.

It was too much in that moment.

I couldn't tell how much time passed before his words finally reached me, him pulling back just a little to give me his trademark smile and calming eyes. "Don't worry Asajj; Everything's going to be alright."

He'd finally said my name, acknowledge me as a person he cared for….

For a moment I wanted to believe him… I did believe him. It was the only thing that could get me to move back onto my feet and follow him into the winding jungle, to continue our mission. To wipe this planet of the oppressive warlords that ruled it.

But at the same time, using what he taught me…feeling in the force….I could feel….no I felt, a bad premonition, a pit in my stomach growing with every second that we stayed on the planet, every second that we continued forward.

I tried to push it away, but in the end it stayed ever-present. I could only hope that my fears weren't warranted, that the Jedi would come to help their brethren in need…come to help us. Cause I knew one thing for certain as I continued to trek forwards.

If my premonition was to pass….if anything was to happen to my Master… I would…

Actually I didn't know what I would do.