20 Chapter 3.4: Self Doubt and Strength

(Coruscant, Jedi Council Chambers)

(3rd Person PoV)

Anakin stood square in the center of the room as he spoke, feeling for the answer to the question. "A ship…A cup…a ship…a Speeder…" Each time he spoke he would predict the next image to appear before the seated Mace Windu.

He rose an eyebrow marveling on the inside about the potential of the boy. There was also another thought that dominated his mind though, it was the boys shatter point. A special ability that Mace possessed and that he used frequently, it was an ability to see shatter points in the universe.

The boy before him was one such person, and the shatter point that he caused in the force was something that couldn't be ignored. "Hmm..How feel you?" Yoda spoke up as Windu was in his own thoughts.

Anakin finally turned his eyes away from the master before him to look at the green grand master, he didn't even think over the question before he answer truthfully. "Cold Sir." Yoda nodded his head, but through the force he could see something else in the boy.

"Afraid are you?" Anakin shook his head fast, trying to appear capable of being a Jedi, but there was a new thought that accompanied that string of feelings. A small synthesized voice in the back of his head saying, 'Jedi aren't invincible.' He brushed the voice off quick, but the words were picked up by two in the room.

Yoda and Windu heard the small whisper in the back of his mind, accompanied by a small vision of a woman standing in combat gear, weapons strapped to their body, kneeling in front of them. Having heard and read the reports from Qui-Gon they instantly knew who the boy was thinking of.

Mace frowned at the words, not liking the certainty that she delivered them with, while Yoda also became more intrigued in their bounty hunter friend. They both kept their thoughts to themselves and pushed them to the side as they heard Anakin's answer. "No sir"

Everyone else instantly knew that he lied. "See through you, we can." "Be mindful of your feelings." "Your thoughts dwell on your mother." Yoda, Mace Windu and Ki-Adi Mundi spoke in turn sensing his true feelings. Anakin was shocked for a second at the words before he realized that he couldn't lie, not before a Jedi, they were too powerful.

Finally he told the truth, letting his weakness show. "I miss her." Yoda nodded his head. "Afraid to miss her I think." Though Anakin wanted to be a Jedi, after going through the latest test and being questioned, even he was confused by the endless questions.

With a slight edge to his voice he spoke back. "What does that have to do with anything?" Yoda sensed the small flare of anger and fear as he spoke with conviction to the young boy, but the damage had already been done.

Just that show of anger, the show of fear, everyone in the council knew that the boy was too emotional, too attached to his past life. "Everything. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."

Anakin grew worried hearing the words; he couldn't help but feel a small twinge of fear towards the so called dark side. Sensed once again by the council around him. "Much fear I sense in you." As if ignoring the boy, Yoda spoke to the rest of the council.

They all heard the hidden question. 'Should he be trained as a Jedi.' Even though they knew the risks, especially after what just happened, the boy was strong in the force. Yoda couldn't just bar him from training without the others input.

Though it was only Ki-Adi Mundi who voiced a small amount of resistance to the preordained answer. "The force is strong with him." Jin spoke up for the first time, not noticing the small messages that were being sent between the high council or not caring. "He is to be trained then?" Qui-Gon was hopeful for an affirmative answer.

But after a slight pause and even more communication through their eyes, Windu spoke for them. "No, he will not be trained." Qui-Gon was shocked truly shocked at the reply. "No?" Windu leaned back in his chair, ready for the 'Maverick Jedi' to question their decision, he could feel the turbulent emotions coming off the master.

"He is too old." Windu saying the words, knowing that it was only one part of reason they didn't agree to train him, Qui-Gon should have seen that. "He is the chosen one, you must see this." Yoda shook his head at Qui-Gon's insistence. "Clouded this boys future is."

Qui-Gon took a second to digest the words, and in those few seconds the look in his eyes changed as he resolved himself letting the force guide him. "I will train him then." Obi-wan looked to his master in shock. A small sense of betrayal welled up inside him. 'Was he just thrown away like nothing?'

Though his thoughts and emotions wanted to burst out of him, his training calmed his nerves and he gained control before anyone noticed. Qui-Gon continued, not noticing the look his padawan just gave him. "I will take Anakin as my padawan learner."

Yoda shook his head as he noticed the strong emotions stirring inside the young padawan to the side. "An apprentice you already have Qui-Gon, impossible to take on a second." Even Windu spoke up a frown naturally on his face. His voice was deep and commanding as he stared at Qui-Gon. "The code forbids it."

But Qui-Gon knew what he had to do, even though the others could not feel the presence of the force like he could at that moment, he knew he had to do this. "Obi-wan is ready." Obi-Wan sent another glance at his master and even though he wanted to protest, to cling to their current relationship as master and apprentice, something came over him, something that told him 'it was time.'

Before he even knew what he was doing he had stepped forwards. "I am ready for the trials masters." Yoda turned to him for a second before responding to them both. "Our own council, we will keep on who is ready."

'Why were they so against his idea?' Qui-Gon could not fathom the reason, but to be a Jedi was to be patient, he continued his case before the council. "He is head strong and has much to learn of the living force but he is capable. There is little more that he can learn from me."

Saying his piece Qui-Gon turned to his long time partner, they shared a look as numerous emotions passed between their gaze. Finally they broke eye contact as Qui-Gon closed his eyes ever so slightly, sending a small message across their telepathic link. "You are ready Obi-wan…and… sorry." Obi wan also closed his eyes for a second as he received the message.

Letting the words soak in he let out a breath of air and calmed his emotions once again just as Yoda spoke up. "Young Skywalkers fate will be decided later." A few others in the council nodded their heads, including Windu who had other pressing matters to attend to, after what happened just under an hour ago in the senate building.

Windu took back control of the meeting. "Now is not the time for this. The senate is dealing with the revelation of corporate corruption and subterfuge caused in the earlier emergency meeting. We will discuss the fate of Skywalker…" The Jedi master cut himself off as his eyes turned to the entrance of the room.

Along with him the rest of the master also turned. They hadn't felt it yet, fully focused on the discussion at hand, but once they stopped for a second they felt it, two signatures in the force making their way quickly to their destination.

The signatures were familiar to a few, but unknown to others. A few of the masters frowned as they were not expecting anyone else to appear before them, not only that, to the most powerful of them they could just make out another presence. One that clung to them, something they had come into contact with recently, something dark and ominous.

There had been a faint presence on Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Anakin, but compared to this, it was nothing. Something much darker had touched those that were closing in. Everyone's focus were now on the doors as a few tried to feel the presence and discover its secrets.

Finally after another few seconds the doors opened and 2 figures wearing long brown cloaks entered the room. Reaching up to pull their hoods down, Quinlan Vos with his shaggy black hair and the blue twi'lek, Aayla Secura were revealed.

They bowed low as they stood next to the other 3 people in the center of the room. Qui-Gon wanted to say something to his long time friend Quinlan but he could tell the direness of the situation just from feeling the presence left on them. Something that made the pit of his stomach churn in dread.

"Sorry to interrupt masters but we bring disturbing news." "Hmmm." Yoda hummed to himself as he looked at both of the Jedi before him. He had lived for a long time, but had never felt a presence such as the one that clung to them, something that had left the grand master of the order unsettled.

Windu who had a bit more knowledge on what Vos had been doing spoke up first. "Master Vos, has something gone wrong on your long term mission?" Quinlan and Secura both rightened themselves at the words as Vos stepped forwards.

"I wish it were so simple Master Windu. Me and my apprentice have just returned from Tatooine where we finished our undercover assignment." The words caused all 3 beside them, as well as a few members of the council to move forwards in their seats. Everyone was thinking the same thing at the words. 'Did they meet the Sith?"

This reaction did not go unnoticed by Vos or Secura who had a better view of all those present, causing her to frown. Vos didn't dwell on the reaction as what he had to say was too important. "I am afraid that the Sith have returned!"

His grim voice confirmed what everyone was already thinking, it may have been a mistake had only Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met the assailant, but now with another source confirming it; the dreaded news was forced forwards.

Seeing the looks of regret on Masters Yoda and Windu in front of him, he knew that they had already expected his news. Taking a look at those around just confirmed Vos's suspicion. It was at that moment that he remembered that he had seen Qui-Gon on Tatooine before they had run into the Sith.

Connecting all the piece in his mind Vos knew that they had also met the same fate as them, but they had escaped and made it back quicker than them. He sent a small thanks through the force as his friend survived such an ordeal, something that he was still questioning in his own mind.

Turning back to Yoda in front of him, he let his thoughts be known. "From you reactions I assume that Master Qui-Gon and his apprentice also encounter the Sith on Tatooine." Windu let out a small sigh as he replied. "Yes they encountered the Sith as he tried to kill the Queen of Naboo that was accompanying them. They were lucky enough to escape before the fight could escalate."

Aayla looked at the 3 people besides her. She had known Obi-Wan for a while even if they weren't the closest. She also knew Qui-Gon, considered a bit of a rebel in the order, though his views coincided a lot with her own masters' liberal way of dealing with situations.

'They had both faced and run away from her? Was it possible? Were the stronger? What could they do that she and her master couldn't?' Aayla quickly stomped down on the thoughts as they entered her mind, even she didn't know where they came from.

It was a dangerous line of thinking, self-doubt, jealousy, inferiority, emotions and thoughts unbecoming of a Jedi, ones that hadn't appeared in a long time, not since her time as a youngling anyway. Using techniques drilled into her for years, she quickly calmed her mind and thought about the experience they must have gone through to successfully escape.

Finally she turned her eyes on to the boy she didn't know. But even if she didn't know him, she could sense his immense presence in the force, even untrained it was a beacon drawing people closer. Aayla starred at the boy for a few more seconds, before the words truly started to sink in.

Turning back to Master Windu she frowned slightly she knew something was wrong in his words just then, there was an inconsistency, but what was it? Before she even knew it she spoke up, a part of her mind knowing the answer instinctively.

"He? But the Sith we faced was Female?" Everyone in the counsel tensed at the words. 'There had been two sith on Tatooine? The Master and Apprentice?' The thought traveled through the minds of all on the council as Yoda and Windu looked at each other.

After a few seconds Windu turned to Secura and spoke in his gravest voice yet. "Yes, he. Master Jin and his Padawan encountered a male Zabrak Sith on the planet as they were leaving. What species and look did your assailant have?" Aayla was shocked at the words as she realized their implication. Her first thoughts drifting to an area she wished they didn't. 'It wasn't her? They faced someone else? Probably weaker and less trained possibly the apprentice. Was that the reason they could escape where we failed?'

Caught in her own thoughts she started for a second as she regained her bearings and caught everyone looking at her. To her eyes it looked like they could see right through her and maybe they could. She quickly looked to her Master for help. He looked at her for a second before turning to the council to answer in her stead.

"Reporting, the Sith we encountered was a Female Togruta as well as a female Twi'lek…" He held up his hand before one of the council could interrupt. "Though she had a slight force signature that could denote force sensitivity the Twi'lek did not use the force and carried blasters as weapons…"

It was a few minutes later when Vos finished his report to the council and another 30 minutes before he left the room. He, Obi-wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin and Aayla slowly left the council chambers and headed to the elevator, tired from their journey they had a lot of thoughts passing through their mind, trying to feel the force for answers to their numerous questions.

Back in the chamber they just left, worry emanated from those sitting on the council. "Master and Apprentice, we have found. Bode well, this does not." Yoda spoke first to break the tension as he talked to his close friend.

"But we have at least identified the two Sith we now face, that is a boon." Adi Gallia spoke from her position in the council, her voice a bit rougher at the new news. Others in the council, nodded their heads. She was right, at least they had information on who they would face.

Windu gazed silently out the windows around them for a few seconds before responding. "Who is the master, and who is the apprentice though?" Ki-Adi spoke up while rubbing his chin. "From both descriptions the Togruta showed more power in the force and combat, Master Vos and Secura are lucky to be alive."

"A good point! Why are they alive? They lost, were knocked out unconscious, easy kills. We would have never know of the Sith's existence if they killed them." Even Piell butted in, a frown marring his lips. All of the council looked each other, trying to figure out the reason, but they could not come to a logical reason.

*Sigh* Finally Yoda let out a breath of air as he called the meeting to an end. "Meditate on this we must. Found the Master and Apprentice we have, advantage we now hold." Everyone slowly rose from their seats as they gave polite bows to each other.

As the rest left, Yoda tried to feel the force, trying to unravel the mystery before them. But the future was distant, shrouded from view. In the end he could only open his eyes and stare out at the sprawling city before him, his mind far away.

**************

(Hours later)

(Coruscant, Jedi Training room)

(Quinlan Vos PoV)

I felt the force drag me towards the training room, I had been sleeping peacefully, I needed it after what had happened on Tatooine, when it had called out to me. Was it truly the force though? Or was it someone else? I stopped myself as I looked at the entrance to the training room, bold letters hung above the entrance to tell everyone exactly what the place was.

It was where younglings and padawan would generally train and hone their lightsaber skills, skill that they would use for the rest of their life's as a Jedi. I hadn't been in the room for a long time. When I had a need to train I would do it all around the temple, against others that wanted to sharpen their skills. Having already selected what type of lightsaber a person would use and then what form they would use, for most of their life it was rare that a person would come back to the training room.

This was where a Jedi learned a new form set, something that wouldn't change much after becoming a knight, less so when becoming a master unless they were specifically trying to master all forms of lightsaber combat, something which a rare few did these days.

What was concerning was the fact I could feel my Padawan inside. She had been agitated after the battle on Tatooine, fidgeting, distracted. Even the mental connection that we usually shared having such a close master and Padawan bond was closed off.

Something was wrong, I hadn't brought it up on the way back, I hadn't brought it up when it started to affect her in front of the council, but now, now I would bring it up. I could feel her raw emotions from whatever she was doing inside.

I slowly walked forwards and pushed open the door, keeping the noise quiet. It didn't seem that she had noticed me as I walked into the room. *Crack* *Crack* *Crack* Two practice blades flashed out as I watched Aayla perform Jar Kai, the practice of using two blades.

I frowned slightly as I watched her. She incorporated her Jar Kai with forms 4 and 5 which she was good at while also using form 7, a lightsaber form that I had never seen her use before. There was a good reason for that, she wasn't usually this aggressive.

Form 7 which was the most aggressive style of lightsaber combat was not something that suited her, I knew that, she knew that, but she was still incorporating it anyway. A slight frown came to my lips as I continued to watch her move around and combat the dummy before her.

It only continued to get worse as I watched her sloppy form and style, she was distracted even now, something had deeply affected her, and judging by the use of the two blades I think I know what. I looked a little closer as I moved towards her.

Her hands were bleeding from over use and her breath was ragged, she was dead tired. I walked quietly behind her as she finally turned to look my way. She seemed surprised for a second and stopped in her tracks, just staring at me like I was a ghost.

But as I got closer, her eyes widened and she looked down at the two weapons in her hand. I also noticed she had another hilt clipped to her side, a hilt I had never seen before. Where did she get that? As if realizing that she couldn't come up with an excuse or get away from my imminent question as I stopped before her she let her head drop.

Was that in shame? Or was it something else?

I waited for her to speak, to say anything, but realizing quickly that she wasn't going to say anything I addressed her first. "Did you even go and rest after leaving the council meeting?" She hesitated for a few seconds at her answer before finally sighing in defeat.

"No Master." The frown on my face got worse as my tone shifted, I wanted to know what was going on and I wanted to know now. "What is wrong?" My voice was firm but commanding; she knew that I wouldn't take any flimsy answer.

I felt her emotions fluctuate once again, this time as I was right next to her I could feel how they were bubbling to explode. This was not good, but I said nothing, meeting that sith, fighting her, it really had affected her negatively, it would affect anyone the same way.

She clenched and unclenched her hands over and over again before she finally looked me in the eye. They were red, bloodshot as her body slightly shook. "She played with us!" I was taken back for a second as she shouted out loud. Thankfully no one else was around at such a late hour.

I do admit that I was so surprised from her outburst that my next words were out of complete shock. She hadn't exploded like that… well, ever. Not even when I just took her on as my Padawan. "What?" She shook her head as she turned back to the dummy across from her.

Her voice lowered to just above a whisper, but I could hear it clearly. "The Sith, Darth Zavros, she played with us. Throughout her whole fight…when she knocked me down, beat me, beat you…had us at her mercy…."

Her voice broke a little as I moved a bit closer to her, the fight had affected her more than I ever imagined. I could feel the fear, sadness and desperation that rolled off her voice and her spirit. "…Through it all, she only used one lightsaber. She had another on her waist, meaning she was more proficient with both lightsabers but… she never drew it….she didn't think of us as a threat…she just played with us."

It was a thought that had crossed my mind when I woke up. Something that, yes had unsettled me, but I had hoped that Aayla hadn't noticed such a fact. But in the end she had and now she doubted herself, she viewed herself as less of a person, when she wasn't.

I finally wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug as she let her emotions out and broke down in my arms. I knew it wasn't the Jedi thing to do, to let such emotions run rampant, but I had taken care of her for so many years, she was almost like a daughter to me.

She needed me right now; she needed someone to comfort her, to help her through this trying time. I would be here for her. "We were so lucky that we lived, she had us, she could have ended it at any point." Her voice racked back and forth as I rubbed her back gently, hoping to the force that no one came across us like this.

'It's ok. It's ok. It's alright" I said it gently as she gripped tighter. "I just needed to be stronger; I need to be stronger to protect you and everyone else." Her words bit deep and I pulled her closer. I had no words to say to her, I couldn't tell her that her search for strength was wrong. Though the pursuit of strength wasn't in the Jedi code, the pursuit of protecting others was a key principle of the order.

As her master I knew that I couldn't change her decision, the path that she had set for herself, sometime between that fight and when we got back to Coruscant, it was too late. All I could do now was monitor her, make sure she did not take a dark path like I had once almost done.

We stayed in that position for I would say almost the next hour. Her sobbing had stopped half way through and she just held me close as if to confirm that I was still alive, still there with her. It looked like it was about time I let her go. She was ready to be a knight, if she could overcome that Sith, she was ready to strike out on her own. Learn about the universe around her.

I would be there when she needed it, but it was time for her to learn the lesson of separation, of letting go. I knew it would be hard, I had seen it coming for the last few months, but now it would be the hardest test she could possible face.

Finally we both got up and I pulled her towards the exit. She made a little weak attempt to protest but I held onto her firmly. "You need to rest if you want to grow stronger. Wearing yourself out will not help." She looked at me for a few seconds when I said the words, but in the end stopped fighting and let me drag her out.

It was when we were just a few meters away from her room that I asked the question that had been on my mind for a while now. "Where did you get the second hilt?" Aayla stopped for a second as she looked down at the new hilt at her waist.

She unclipped it from her belt and twirled it in her hand before igniting it. *Snap* *Hiss* A blue light illuminated the corridor for a few seconds before she turned it off. Though she was still a bit shaken from her outburst in the Training room a small smile played on her lips.

"I asked Master Cin Drallig, the Battle Master, if I could borrow one of the lightsabers not in use until I could make a new one. He agreed and handed me this hilt used in live practices." I nodded my head slowly, her words made sense, there was no other way to get another lightsaber so quick without making one. But she would have to wait to acquire a new cyber crystal for her blade or find one herself.

"So from now on you will use two lightsabers?" Aayla stopped as the door to her room opened quietly. She turned back to look at me, the same determination to get stronger shinning stronger than ever. It was harder to see when she had been sobbing on my shoulder before, but know it was clear. This was her path forwards, the way she would get stronger.

I would not question that resolve. "Aayla Know that I support you in everything my Young padawan. I will be here if you require guidance." I knew my voice was soft as I spoke those words, unbecoming affection tinted my words as I made my way back to my own quarters.

I still had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

If I had looked back, I might have seen the most radiant smile Aayla would ever show.