Putting Myself Through Torture

I wake up from the bed as the alarm goes off, and as I lean up, my body screams in pain. I focus the force through me and heal as much as I can, the pain fades to a dull numbness, and I stand up. I have slept for 8 hours, and that means it's time for more training. I keep the top half of my Jedi robes off and only leave my pants on.

I'm going to push myself even harder than I did yesterday, and I'm going to focus on all my chosen forms. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to use Ataru, Shien, and Niman. That's all up to my own determination, though, if I want to start attacking. I'll have to step it up. I walk out of the room and force pull my lightsaber to me right before the sliding door closes behind me. I head straight for the training room.

As I enter the training room, I can see the chaos of my intense training around the room. It's become very messy in here, but I'm not going to clean it up. I head straight over to the console and input the same commands as yesterday. The droid comes out of its little compartment, and my body aches as I remember the training I did 8 hours again. I get into Niman guard this time, and I float the weights I was using yesterday.

They surround me again, and I take a breath. "Begin!" The training droid lunges at me with fury in its moves. Whoever owned this ship must have built the programs themselves. It's obvious it was a Jedi's, but now it's mine. I use the acrobatic moves of Ataru and the defensive move of Shien to keep up a better pace today.

All the while keeping the weights up and in perfect motion with the battle so neither the droid nor I get hit. The new moves the droid is using are causing some problems, but I adapt and try to attack myself. Incredibly, it can move just like a Jedi, not missing a single motion. I increase in my speed, and the fight becomes faster and much harder.

The droid never gets tired. My body is already getting tired, but I use some basic force healing techniques we learned as younglings. I do all this while still fighting. Master Satele has never fought me this hard before, always preaching tempered action and training. Limiting my growth, now I can do what I want. The fight is still on the more defensive side, but I use the knowledge that I have gained while fighting this droid and start being more unorthodox.

I incorporate multiple different moves from my three schools of training and start to push the droid into a defensive stance. I keep this increase in attack and speed up, and the acrobatic of Ataru and the force abilities of Niman are mixing very well. Add the defensive play from Shien, and I'm on a roll. After keeping this up and trying my damndest to land a single strike, the droid adapts, and I'm quickly on the defensive again.

I keep up with the droid, and I try to shift the balance in the fight. I succeed a little, and I'm adapting to it. I'm using precognition just like yesterday, and this is really helping the progress I have made. I perform an upward strike and cause the droid to go a little off balance while blocking. I take this opportunity to throw it against the wall with the force.

I haven't used my force offensive force powers against it because that would be unfair—the downside of training with a droid. I recompose myself and get into a new guard. It's a high Ataru guard. Those two weeks I spent training with Satele, I learn all the basic guards and opens for my three schools. The droid launches forward, and we continue to battle against each other for 10 straight hours.

This time I actually won some combat spars, but I still lost. I end the training program and lay on the mat as I try to heal my body. I'm going to train the other aspects of the force, not just combat. I'm going to spend 10 hours meditating and refining my overall control. I stand up, and I limp out of the training room as the droid goes back into its little compartment.

I make my way to the kitchen and drink multiple containers of water. Unbeknownst to me, I still have the weights following me. I guide them back to the training room, and I stop holding them. I hear multiple very heavy thuds. I walk over to the table and rest my body just a little bit. I close my eyes and let the force flow through me.

I place my hands on the parts of my body that hurt the most, and I heal them the best I can. I do this for about 30 minutes, and my body and mind are no longer beaten to the brink. I walk back to the training room, and I sit in the middle. I cross my legs and get into meditative form. I take a couple of calming breaths, and I close my eyes. I calmly dive into the force, and I lift all the things in the room as I do so.

I sink into the force I levitate off the ground. I focus on what I did yesterday, not limiting the amount of power I use. The more control I gain over my power, the more I can use it. I've noticed a problem, though, the more I gain control over it. The more my power grows, it's like more and more of my buried power is coming to the surface as I train my control.

I meditate like this for 10 hours as well, never once leaving my dive into the force. Refining my control. I open my eyes, and I relax, things calmly set themselves down, and I gently float back to the ground. I stand up and head straight for the sonic shower. I grab the top half of my robe in my room, and I put all my clothes into the sonic washer and dryer.

[A/N: "The more control I gain over my power, the more I can use it. I've noticed a problem, though, the more I gain control over it. The more my power grows, it's like more and more of my buried power is coming to the surface as I train my control." I'm going to explain these lines fully. Think of the current power Nathan can control as a handful of water. The more he learns to control, the more access to the water he'll get. The water being the force. With his current control, he can do a lot of things. As seen in A new mission on Hoth II and Leave Hoth, Alone. As a being totally and completely conceived of and by the force as well as being born from Abeloth, he has no actual limits to his power. He doesn't know that because he thinks he was born to Lillis and Jorand Opal.]

[A/N Continued: To go back to the metaphor I was using. The handful of water is the current control limit he has. If he trains his power and continues to grow, that handful of water will turn into what could be called a drop of water in an endless ocean of water. Add that to the fact he is immortal due to being born of Abeloth, who is a force god, and you have what many would call 'The Force Incarnate'. He is the strongest force user. Ever. Sorry Anakin and Rey fans, but this is The Old Republic. Not the Skywalker Saga.]

I step into the sonic shower and proceed to enjoy the deep cleaning of sweat and filth on my body. After the sonic shower finishes, I step out and retrieve my clean and dry clothes from the sonic washer and dryer. I get dressed and reattach my lightsaber hilt to my belt. I walk to the cockpit and check on the status of the time left till arrival. "28 hours till arrival... That leaves just one more sleep cycle and training cycle." I stand up and head for the bed I have chosen to take.

I lay down in my clean clothes, and I close my eyes. I use the force to lull me to sleep, and after a few seconds, I'm already full knocked out. My dreams, on the other hand, let's say they are absolutely terrible. I wake up in a small sweat and panic.

I force pull my lightsaber off my belt and ignite it as I stand up. That's when I realize it was a dream. I deactivate my lightsaber and sit on the edge of the bed. I place my lightsaber next to me, and I run my hands through my dark hair. I had a nightmare of my mother and father being tortured, I find them. I actually find them in my dream, only to be too late, and they are already dead.

That's when I heard a voice. It was a woman's voice. It felt so familiar to me, and the feeling I get when I heard it. It was the same feeling I had when Lillis held me when I was little. It sounded like the voice was a little lonely, suck. Watching me from afar. After that, a deep laughter ran through the darkness as it consumed me. It said something to me, not something I like.

I clear my mind as I remember it. "The galaxy could be ours, little brother. All we need to do is take it." I repeat it out loud, and an echo rings through me. After that, I was struck by red lightning, and I was awoken. I stand up and walk to the cockpit. I sit down and look at the remaining time till arrival. "21 hours left, huh... I'm not going to try and sleep for that last hour. Not after a nightmare like that." I lean back in the chair and watch the blue hue of hyperspace.

I can sit here and relax for the next hour, and that sounds really nice in my opinion. That dream... It could have been a vision of what's to come. The image of my dead parents flashes before my eyes, and the ship moans in protest. I didn't even realize I channeled the force. I stop, and the ship stops making noise.

I hope I can find some clues on Coruscant. Since they are being shielded from me, I'll have to play detective. It would be fun if not for the reason I'm doing it. I spend the next hour with my thoughts and possible plans for when I reach Coruscant. Soon the timer says 20 hours left and that my queue to start training again. I stand up and make my way to the training room. I'm going to start with saber training and end it with meditation. That way, I have 10 hours to recover using the force before I arrive on Coruscant. I set everything up and begin my training, going even harder than last time.