2 You Really Need to See a Psychologist

Lucillia felt the light stinging of her tired eyes by the time morning came and she was finally able to make her coffee. As expected, after her nightmare the previous night, although she'd managed to calm herself down, she still wasn't able to go back to sleep and just spent the time lounging and keeping an eye on her precious babies. Of course, this lack of sleep wasn't anything new, she'd been suffering from insomnia for years. But her episodes had been extra frequent lately as her birthday neared, as it was also the anniversary of when she had left her biological family, or rather, was kicked out like a dog. Still, at least she'd managed to escape from that woman. Without realizing it, she'd become lost in her thoughts and her expression turned rather ugly. It wasn't until Jackie smacked the top of her head with a magazine and scolded her before she finally snapped out of it.

"Don't bother wasting your time worrying about those ungrateful b******s. There will come a day when that idiot father of yours will see the truth and he'll regret playing into that demonesses hands." Although Lucillia had a hard time imagining a scenario where she'd ever be on good terms with her biological family again, the sincerity in Jackie's words comforted her nonetheless as she stared at the faces on the cover of the magazine. Glancing at the image of the 'ideal family' scene before her, she downed the rest of her coffee before flipping to the pages of the article.

"Honestly, you must be a masochist or something. I don't know how you can still stand to buy that magazine. You know it'll just upset you more…" she remarked carelessly. In response, Lucillia just sighed tiredly.

"Seeing the magazine helps motivate me. It reminds me why I can't give up on my dreams of entering the fashion industry."

"Gives you your recurring nightmares more like. I know those b******s don't deserve it, but sometimes I really hope you can just forget the whole thing and live a happy life. You're not the same weak girl as back then when that b**** could shamelessly bully you. Where's the feisty spirit that kicked everyone's a** back at military camp? Huh?"

"I'm… already living happily. I already have an amazing happy family with my three kids, and you. You know I'm not out for revenge, I just… I just need to prove to myself that I'm worthy, that I can do it." As Lucillia trailed off her gaze once again held a wistful expression. Alright, this was the sign that it was time for another cup of coffee. Guiltily avoiding Jackies gaze, she slipped behind her and poured another giant mug full of what was practically her life sustenance these days. Her actions were not missed by Jackie, however.

"Alright let's see them. There's no point trying to play innocent. I know you were probably up all night after last night. So let me see the designs," Jackie demanded exasperatedly. Her disapproving tone did not last long however as Lucillia sheepishly handed over about a dozen pages of new clothing and accessory designs she'd drawn up last night.

"Lucy, these are amazing!!! I always knew you were talented, but I think these are the best ones yet! The cascading flowers on the skirt of this dress! Its perfect! When are you making the prototype for this I can't wait to see it on my darling Arlienne~! And the wild solitary charm of this leather jacket-dress suits our dear Rowen so well. And you didn't even forget our cold and indifferent Nolan, who shows his sweet side only to you. This sweater vest is just perfect for the solitary intellectual type like him. Gah~~~! I can't take it anymore! Hurry hurry~! Lucy hurry and make the clothes so I can see my darlings dressed up already."

Jackie's praise always took on this kind of flavor, so instead Lucillia just leisurely laughed and mocked her.

"Just whose precious darlings did you say those three were? I don't recall you giving birth to them." Even though she was teasing her friend lightly, Jackie still pouted in response.

"Boo~ So mean, won't even let me claim ownership of the precious babes after all the hard work I've put in helping you raise them."

"Alright, alright, Jackie's the best wife ever, now send this husband off to work before I get fired," she relented. Lucillia sighed heavily once again as she massaged the bags under her eyes and pulled on her shoes.

"Lucy…" Jackie started, "what about, um, seeing a psychologist?" Seeing Lucillia in this state, Jackie pushed through her initial hesitation and brought the idea up to her friend. Although she'd brought it up seriously Lucy causally laughed and brushed off the idea.

"Haha you know I don't have the time to see a psychologist. I have the three kids to worry about." Although she smiled her tone while discussing the matter wasn't that friendly.

"Lucy, you know I'll watch the kids for you. IT's not a problem, it doesn't have to be a big commitment," pleaded Jackie.

"And what about the money?" Lucillia retorted more harshly than she meant to. "You know I don't have extra cash to spend." And then she turned around as if she considered the matter settled. Usually, this would indeed be the time when Jackie backed off, however emboldened by her friends increasingly worrisome state she pushed once again.

"If it's about money why not ask your kids' father for some. I… I found him again. I have his contact information. I'm sure he," however Jackie was cut off before she could finish.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION THEIR FATHER!" Now, she was entirely worked up, and there was no helping what came flooding after her mouth after. "So WHAT?! So what if you've found him? DO you think he CARES about me?! Do you think a b****** like him ever once came looking for me to see what happened to me?! Why must I be the one to go find him? Why must I go beg him for money. No! I refuse!"

After her tirade she saw the watery faces of Nolan and Rowan peeking out from behind the banister, and it was only then that she realized how explosively she'd reacted. Calming herself down to the comfort the kids she quickly amended her words to make them sound nicer.

"Mommy and Aunty Jackie love you kids enough for both a mommy and a daddy, and even though we don't have much money we're not destitute. There's no need to complicate the matter by bringing in someone who's never once cared for the children." She clarified. Then she kissed all three children goodbye and left the apartment, making it abundantly clear that the matter was closed.

"You really need to see a psychologist though…" Jackie sighed after she was sure Lucillia would no longer hear.