18 17: Serenity

I held Naya close to me and snuggled into her fur. She had a slight growl before settling down and letting me continue my pouting. My sister was alive. She was here.

And I didn't even recognize her at first.

How could I not recognize my own face?

It had been a few days since the encounter and I still had no luck finding her again. I wanted to see her again and understand her. She seemed so frightened of me. But why?

"Serenity? Are you still home?" I heard Axton call from the door as it slammed shut behind him. I whimpered slightly at the anger in his voice and the absence of my nickname. I hadn't liked it before, but once he stopped calling me his warrior, it hit hard. Damn myself for going out before I was ready.

Damn myself for getting caught by someone who could be working for the enemy.

~~~~

"Little warrior, are you sure you really want to go out? You're not even fully recovered from that serum, Dr. Charlie said it was gonna take a while," Axton asked me, his eyes the bright green that always made me relax under his gaze. His chin was rested on my shoulder and his arms were around my waist, holding me to him. His brown hair was messy and hung partially into his eyes. His bright green eyes with the silver rings were showing which made me smile a bit.

"Anata**, I'll be fine. I need to get out and stretch my legs. I still can't use my control over shadows, but I can read parts of the future in pieces at a time. It'll be enough to get me back safe, okay?"

After a few more moments of just the comfortable silence of him watching me in the mirror as I finish slipping my mask into my hair and behind my ears to keep it up.

"Will you please just stay here tonight? We can both go tomorrow-"

"Anata," I said, turning to face him and taking his cheeks into my hands. He had done this to me when I was still sick to check the dilation of my pupils at random times. "I will be fine, I have no plans of going out to fight anyone, just to get a rough layout of the city. It could help us both in the long run."

What I didn't tell him was that I was going to try to locate my sister while I was at it.

"Okay, I yield," he said, pulling my hands off his face and holding them. "Just please be careful, and I would like it if you wore a communication device just in case."

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes playfully, getting a groggy chuckle. He hadn't slept well since I had gotten sick, and all the exhaustion had hit him at once. He'd been sleeping all day and now that night had fallen, he was trying to wake himself up but we both knew he would probably be asleep again by the time I got back.

He walked into the main room of the small house we had rented near a forest so that Naya could get out and run as often as she wanted. He picked up an earpiece and immediately went to work trying to get it hidden under my outfit. Once he was satisfied with his work he opened his laptop from home and pulled up a tracker that would move with me and he put on a headset.

"Okay, Shadow, remember to stay hidden and communicate everything you can with me as you go, okay?" he asked and I heard the echo in my head. I nodded and stepped out into the cool night air.

"Shadow, can you still hear me?" he asked as I ran through the city and hid myself in darkness as much as I could, knowing I could blend in if I tried.

"Loud and clear, Icarus," I sighed at the name, "Could you not have chosen a better name?"

"Hey, Icarus is cool, okay?"

"Anata, it literally translates to follower," I said and heard him grumble on the other end of the line.

I noticed a young woman walking around the edges of the forest and I noticed something in her hand that I hadn't seen in a long time.

A dagger made of light.

I approached her and stopped behind her.

"Anatadeshita ne**," I said, not at all realizing I had slipped into another language.

She turned to me quickly and stared at me, her eyes wide.

"Anata wa karera o koroshimashita ne**?" I asked again.

"Ummm," she said, the dagger in her hand slightly flickering as she began to lose her focus.

"Naze sore o shimashita? Karera wa nani o shita nodesu ka?**" I asked, feeling tears welling up.

"Miss, I don't understand-"

I threw myself at her. "You monster!"

"Shadow, you need to calm down," Axton said in my ears, I could hear that he was wide awake now.

"Shut the hell up, Icarus," I hissed as I stared down at the woman on the ground.

"Miss, please, I don't know what-"

"Shut up, you..." my mind temporarily shut down as I tried to come up with the word. "You monster."

She stood up suddenly and threw one of those daggers at me, but I already tapped into her future and watched her movements in order to dodge her poorly aimed shot.

I felt for the first time the shadows swell around me, but it was like I was thrown into the back seat and could only watch myself move and fight. I pounded against the constraints of my own mind, but the darkness that had settled in my mind that used to tell me I wasn't worth it. The one who would tell me to succumb to the darkness.

It had fully taken over every piece of me.

The echoes of my mind trapped me as my own ability took over my consciousness and my ability to battle on.

I could hear Axton's voice but I couldn't understand what he was saying. It was as if he was a million miles away from me.

I could touch the inky blackness of my power, but why? What was causing my powers to react like this?

~~~~

I woke to the bed and Naya curled around my body. I couldn't move my body at all. I felt so heavy. I saw the lights in the room all on, keeping all shadows away from me. What happened to me?

I sat up and searched for Axton, but he was nowhere to be found. I heard a voice from the kitchen down the hall, so I got up to move towards it.

"So you're saying she may never fully recover? And that she runs the risk of going out of control like that every time?"

"It was always a possibility from what I can tell, Mr. Axton," another voice chimed in. It sounded like the doctor. "I got access to her old medical files from the one doctor from before and the results are astounding. Their methods were definitely illegal, but they found the source of her power deep in her mind. They described it as an inky darkness that thrives in her subconscious. Once she's experiencing danger or something deemed as threatening to her, the thread keeping them separate but connected snaps and she's pushed out of the driver's seat for a time."

"But what can we do for that? We know that inhibitor completely screwed up her ability to tap into her abilities in the first place."

"It seems that she still can't connect to her shadow ability naturally."

A pause made the space in their conversation feel pressing. I kept myself hidden as much as I could.

"What do you mean by naturally?"

"I mean on her own without that part of her. She's only able to use her powers when her subconscious deems something as a threat. Like how she saw something that reminded her of her past like you said she did. It would trigger painful memories and most likely cause a switch to where she couldn't control herself. Her body and mind would be going in two separate directions," he stopped, "Not only is it damaging to her mind and body, it's gotta be it's own version of painful too. All we can hope now, Mr. Axton, is that she can heal before that power gets activated again. Other than that, your eye will heal in time. Just keep it clean and there will most likely only be a small scar left."

~~~~

He was avoiding me. He was trying to hide the fact he wouldn't face me. He was hiding and I didn't like it.

"Axton-"

"Yes, Serenity?"

I felt the pang of hurt in my chest at hearing my own name.

"I'm sorr-"

He turned and stopped me. It was one of the first times I had seen his injury. There was a clean cut that went from his forehead down to his right cheek. "Don't, okay? Just don't. You're not doing anything in uniform for the next few weeks. You can go out, but do not do anything in uniform, understand?"

I flinched back and nodded slightly to let him know I understood.

~~~~

The weather outside was warm and sunny as I walked down the street. Axton had finally told me to leave the house after he had explained what happened when I blacked out.

Campus was kinda pretty around this time and I loved it. I loved the feeling of warmth that we didn't really get around this time of year back home.

A familiar head of black hair then appeared in front of me. I froze in place as we stared at each other. Me and my sister.

I heard her take a sharp inhale of air before turning on her heel and running in the opposite direction.

"Wait up! Please!" I called after her as I rushed to catch up to her. She was fast, like she had been training almost as much as I had, maybe even more.

I wanted to talk to her and get to know her. I wanted to understand my sister and I wanted us to finally be together. I wanted to be a family.

"Please stop! I just wanna talk!" I shouted at her. I could almost tell she would be tired again soon. People on the street turned to stare at us, but no one made an attempt to stop me nor her.

She turned down an alley maybe ten minutes later and I finally caught up to her and I started gasping for air in front of her.

"Gosh, You're hard to keep up with. You remind me of David," I said before immediately cutting myself off. I didn't want to explain that I had trained for years under someone. I didn't want her to be suspicious or hate me.

After all, we had the same powers. Right?

She started to get up to run, but I reached out and grabbed her arm. I flinched at the slight burning feeling on the palm of my hand. "Wait, please," I pleaded. She paused for a moment and stared at me. "Please, I don't want to hurt you or anything, I just want to get to know you. Please."

She continued to stare at me as I fought to catch my breath. I looked up at her and thought about how scary it was to be staring up at my own face. The only obvious difference was how she looked at me and how she carried herself. Her eyes seemed colder and her body showed me that she had obvious darkness of her own.

"Get to know me?" she asked me. "I told you that I had the wrong person, now if you'll excuse-"

"You know for a fact we're twins, don't you?" I asked and saw her tense up. "You took one look at me and ran away, why?"

She stopped to think for a second. "I don't know," she said quietly. I smiled and linked our arms before walking out into the busy street and looking through the windows of the shops. "Where are we going, Serenity?" she aside and I paused. I still didn't know her name.

I facepalmed and made myself ignore how people on the street turned to me at my outburst. "Goodness me, I knew I was forgetting something!" I turned to her and put my best puppy eyes on. "Please tell me your name."

She stared at me, as if calculating my worth. It made me feel so exposed, but I refused to let my emotions show on my face. "Kelsie, my name is Kelsie."

"Well, Kelsie, we're window shopping," I smiled at her before I linked our arms back together and continued down the street. "Axton said I needed to get out of the house for a few hours and Naya went out to explore the forest behind our house. So, I came to shop for some new clothes while my best friend, her name is Daniella but I call her Dani, makes me some more. I saved her and her daughter from their old boutique burning down a few years ago now. Oh, you need to meet her, she would absolutely love you! Grace, isn't it funny that the two of us are Grace and Serenity, is only a few years old but absolutely loves the world. Man, I really would love for you to meet my-" I cut myself off before I said too much.

"Your?" she asked. She had been so quiet while listening to my rambling before, but now she was actually responding. I felt her hand squeeze my arm as if trying to comfort me.

"I was going to say my parents," I said, turning to smile at her. I could feel some tears well up in my eyes. "I had to remind myself that you couldn't."

"And why is that, what happened to them?" Kelsie asked me, she was watching me and I could see slight guilt in her eyes before it was masked again.

"They're dead," I replied, turning to look back at the stores. We were reaching a corner so we would have to turn soon. "They were murdered a few years ago, back when I was seventeen."

"I bet they were amazing," she said. I could hear the sadness in her tone. "What were they like?"

I swiped at a tear on my cheek. I wouldn't break down here. "I won't talk about them today, there's too much and I'm sure Axton will be looking for me soon. Can we meet up for coffee or something soon and we can talk then?"

She smiled at me as we reached the cafe where we first saw each other. "Of course, I can see you here tomorrow in the morning if you'd like?"

I smiled and grabbed her hands in mine as I faced her. "That would be wonderful."

"Kels!" I heard behind me and turned around only to feel my body tense up at who was in front of me. It was the girl from before.

"Victoria!" Kelsie said before smiling at the girl. I wanted to disappear. I looked up to see the woman (her name, I guess, was Victoria) staring back at me, as if seeing deep into my soul. "This is my lost twin sister, Serenity. Serenity, this is Victoria."

"Hi," I said weakly, knowing that I needed to get away soon. I could feel the darkness rearing its head at me. "Listen, I do have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at ten, Kelsie," I said before speed walking back the way I had come from. I found an alleyway and rested my back against the wall before sliding down and sitting on the ground. I did my best to breathe but it felt like I was drowning.

Kelsie was friends with one of my parents' murderers.

I reached and pulled out my phone with a shaky hand and pressed Axton's name and listened to it ring.

"Serenity, where are you?"

I felt the tears coming up again and took a shaky to try to talk, but all I did was collapse into sobs.

"Hey, shhh, Serenity I'm here, okay? Where are you at, I'll come get you."

"I-I'm by the cafe i-in an alleyway." I said, trying to calm myself down but only felt it getting worse as the dark side of my mind caressed me, trying to make me let it in.

"Okay, I'll be there soon, okay? Breathe for me."

I tried to breathe and couldn't make myself take steady air in. It wasn't much longer before I felt arms wrap around me. I grabbed him and buries my face into his shoulder to hide my sobbing.

"It's okay, my little warrior. You're okay now, I'm here. I won't ever let you suffer alone."

**Anata - Japanese word meaning "you", it is intimate in Japanese culture due to it being very direct. Mainly used in the older generation. Found on https://medium.com/swap-language/pet-names-for-your-partner-and-friends-in-japanese-and-chinese-f9dff88a2e25**

**Anatadeshita ne - "You did it, did you not"**

**Anata wa karera o koroshimashita ne - "You killed them, did you not"**

**Naze sore o shimashita? Karera wa nani o shita nodesu ka? - "Why did you do it? What did they do that was so wrong