5 WIN THE MOMENT, WIN THE DAY

In Sanskrit, krodha means anger as well as agitation. The first consequence of anger is agitation; peace of mind and tranquillity its first casualty. Agitation when expressed in the outside world spreads negative vibrations. An expression of anger, displays much energy but ends in total exhaustion. In its aftermath we experience tiredness and fatigue. Also in the process, the task in hand is messed up or ruined. Like when a cheetah attacks its prey, on the spur of the moment, there is a burst of energy, but later the animal is totally drained out. Viewed in any which way, there is loss of peace and energy; only loss, no gain.

The natural corollary is: how do we overcome anger? The first step is to become conscious of the anger within. Many are unable to admit and accept to their being short-tempered. The angry individual, feels perverse pleasure in the display of rage and even takes pride in terrifying others.

Anger is a release of energy. So when it is not expressed or displayed, there is greater suffering. Gurudev said, 'Temper takes you to trouble and pride keeps you there'. Often people are too proud to even admit to a mistake. It becomes a question of prestige, a do or die situation.

Once, I addressed the inmates of a jail in Kerala. Later, one of them wrote to me saying, that he liked the talk. He confessed that in a moment of rage, he had killed a man. One moment's anger resulted in 20 years of imprisonment. Act in haste and repent at leisure – is a time tested proverb. What a loss of 20 good years of life!

In the process of overcoming anger we should first find its cause. We may not be able to immediately remove the causes, but we can be aware of the losses it brings.

During my childhood, I would storm out of the house in anger. Later on my return, I would see everyone sleeping comfortably. Nobody would enquire whether I was hungry. So, I realised that I was the loser and decided, 'If at all I have to get angry, it is wise to first eat and then lose my temper!'

Slowly become aware of the losses that result from giving in to anger.

In whichever way you look at it, its outcome is – loss of time, energy, money, friendship, and relationships. In life what do we want, profit or loss? Wisdom is in not owning something that only shows losses. When something becomes a liability, we try to be rid of it. On the other hand, we refuse to part with something precious, for any amount of money.

Peace of mind is our most precious wealth. Why part with it so easily? If someone were to say to me, 'What a fool you are!' Should I allow him to rob me of my peace of mind with just that one sentence? My reply would be, 'Oh, this is well-known. You only found out today?' He will be left speechless and my peace of mind will be safe.

Understanding and awareness are both important in tackling anger. Superficially, we agree that anger only brings losses in its wake but truly do not realise its seriousness or the consequences of giving in to it.

If I am alerted that a cup of milk I am about to drink is poisoned, will I still drink it? Even just a doubt about it being poisoned will ensure that I do not touch it. I will not attempt to confirm its presence, by tasting even a miniscule quantity. This is because we are so intensely aware of the effects of the poison. Also being attached to the physical body we are alert to any danger to it.

Suppose, anger resulted in instant death, then, people would have got rid of it long back. Actually, death through anger is much worse than physical death; the angry man dies continuously. It causes loss not only to us but also to others.

Deal with anger through understanding and extreme alertness. Be intensely aware of its consequences; the total havoc it can wreck on ourselves as well as others. Desire and pride are its prime instigators. Overpowered by foolish obsession and the insistence on having things our way is our undoing. We usually repent only after the damage is done. Awareness alone is the key to practise restraint. The thought that comes after the event, should actually come a moment before anger steps in. Anger no longer holds sway. Life is made up of moments. We do not remember days, months or years. Memories are made up of moments and moments are precious. If we can win the moment then we have won the day.

-🙏-

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