34 The paths in front of him once again - Maritsu and Gabriel POV
After that day, where Maritsu had found his peace and way forward and had given Gabriel a positive answer, everything seemed to happen so fast.
For Maritsu, it felt like he just wasn't going through the motions anymore. He was no longer just existing, with a single point of focus in his life, fulfilling his promise to Jason.
After the conversation he had with Gabriel, his vision had gotten wider and his dreams and goals were returning to him. Making him feel alive again, and he was once again becoming part of the world of which he had felt separated so long.
It was almost like he had lived in isolation all this time, not asking about the world, except for his brother's revenge and justice. The rest of the time, it was like he was living in his own bubble, and the time outside his bubble seemed to move in slow motion.
Like a robot, he was just doing what he was supposed to do and what the higher ups expected from him.
Therefore, it took Maritsu some time to adapt to the feeling of once again becoming part of the world after getting rid of his bubble. The world and time seemed to start moving again; And not only did the world start to move again, he finally gained someone in his life.
Someone who he had accepted as a family member. Who he could confide in and trust, and could be close too.
Gabriel wasn't Jason, and he knew that he never would be, and he would never degrade Gabriel by thinking he was his brother's stand in.
Gabriel was Gabriel and Jason was Jason, but by being around Gabriel, it was like he could feel Jason's spirit right there next to him, probably because they would have been so similar.
Standing beside them and watching over them both.
Like Jason was watching over them from a distance and blessing their progress and journey. Not just his, no, Gabriel's as well. Maritsu never understood why he had that feeling, but he was sure he wasn't wrong about his feeling, however, he couldn't explain why he felt that way, because Jason didn't get to know Gabriel before he died.
Had he asked Gabriel, Gabriel would have told him he had felt a presence for a while now, a presence which brought him peace of mind and made him feel kindness. That presence had made him feel relaxed after carrying the weight he was carrying for so long, by himself.
However, Maritsu never asked, so he would never know this piece of information. Therefore, he would always wonder why he had this inexplicable feeling and if he had just imagined it himself. If only he had asked, he might have known he wasn't the only one feeling that way.
However, life doesn't have room for what if's!
When the conversation was finished and Gabriel had made absolutely sure that Maritsu wouldn't change his mind, he told Maritsu he should think about what way he thought was the best way forward.
What was the best way to achieve their common goal? After posing that question, he told Maritsu to get back to him with an answer tomorrow.
Once again, stating that even if he was sure that Maritsu should still sleep on it, and that he should come back to him tomorrow if he hadn't changed his mind.
Gabriel also stated that even if he decided to not take this future path, because it would be filled with obstacles and losses, then he would still be his big brother.
Emphasizing once again that nothing would change the care and family bond he had for developed for Maritsu over the past few weeks of punishment, and that this relationship wouldn't change no matter what decision he would make.
Reaffirming that, as long as Maritsu would want him as a big brother, he would be one and that he would be honored to be his big brother from this day forward, until the day he died.
To make sure that Maritsu didn't doubt his intentions, Gabriel also emphasized that he loved having him as a younger brother. It wasn't just Maritsu who had gained a big brother; he had also gained a younger brother as well.
No matter which path Maritsu would choose for his future, Gabriel's feelings, which they had built over the last few weeks, wouldn't just disappear.
Nothing would change how proud Gabriel was of Maritsu for the changes he saw him make these last few weeks, and he was sure Jason would have been proud of him as well.
The idea that Jason would have been proud of him brought tears to Maritsu's eyes, but he didn't let them fall.
He always imagined his brother would have been proud of him, but it was always just a guess, a figment of his imagination.
Now a person who was everything his brother would have been as well; If only he had been given time to grow up, reaffirmed that his brother would have been proud of him. Turning that figment of his imagination tangible and real.
This reaffirmed to him that everything he did over all these years wasn't for nothing. Everything he had done and suffered had meaning. The sacrifices he had made and the loneliness and weight he had carried mattered, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by someone he truly admired.
It was the next best thing, since Jason couldn't come back from the death to tell him so. Hearing Gabriel say so was almost like he was giving this message through him from Jason.
Suppressing his tears, Maritsu said to Gabriel: "I won't change my mind, I will see you tomorrow," and he turned around and walked to the door.
When he put his hand on the door handle, he took a deep breath and said in a steady voice while looking at the door in front of him and without looking back. "Thank you for all the effort you put in over the last few weeks. You have no idea what those weeks meant to me and will continue to mean to me. Your effort hasn't gone unnoticed. Thank you for becoming my family."
Without waiting for a response, Maritsu pushed down the door handle as soon as he finished speaking, opening the door. As soon as the door opened, he walked through it, walking out of the office they had been in with haste and determined strides. Not wanting to hear any response to what he had just said at all.
Returning to his bedroom he had on this military base, he first sat down on his bed.
Gabriel had asked him to think about what he wanted to do, and he would do so. Nothing would change his mind to help the man who changed him so much over the last few weeks. What would the best way forward be, however, what should they do next?
He had to consider that in detail. Therefore, he stood up from his bed and; he got something out of his drawer before sitting down at his desk.
Which meant that like all those years ago, when he changed his future path to traverse, Maritsu once again sat in his bedroom at his desk with a notebook in front of him.
The entire situation was strikingly similar to when he was just a teenager. Writing down all the future paths which lay ahead of him, in an inconspicuous notebook which lay in front of him.
An inconspicuous notebook which would help him, once again too, decide what future path he should traverse.
The pages in front of him quickly filled up with all the options which were open to him and the paths he could take. He wrote it all down neatly and comprehensively. Making sure he didn't miss anything.
The elaborateness in what he wrote showed in how he considered all the pro's and cons of all the options in front of them and added them to the pages of the notebook as well…
It seemed like it was meant to be that way, because like all those years ago, he eventually narrowed down all options he had written down to three paths he could choose from.
It seemed like a kismet to Maritsu. A notebook and three different future paths lay open to him. For him to choose. The actions and result exactly the same as he had been a teenager considering his future.
The difference, however, was that now he didn't have to make that choice alone. He didn't have to carry the weight by himself. There was someone who would be willing to talk through all his options and choices, be a sounding board, a guide, and a support to him, and he would, of course, offer the same in return.
His notebook contained the following three options:
The first being to work, continue to work his way up and don't have any obvious contact with Gabriel.
The second being to work his way up and be open and honest about his friendship with Gabriel, and the Third would be him becoming Gabriel's deputy and assistant right away with a transfer. After which they would work together on their goal.
So when he had written them all down, he took his notebook, put it back in his desk drawer and went to bed. This time, he didn't have to make this tough decision alone. He could talk to Gabriel about it all tomorrow.
Turning off the lights, he went to bed and, for the first time in years, he slept through an entire night without waking up and without feeling restless.
