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Chapter 1: This Is Easy

At my computer desk, I was reading a few manga online. And most of them were none other than Isekai.

"This is so stupid! All he did was fall why is he getting like 1000 skills?.."

I continued to read ahead, just getting more and more confused and angry. 

"Okay seriously? all of a sudden the ancient demon sword became a cat girl?..."

After reading nearly 23 chapters of pure bullcrap, I rubbed my eyes and closed out the tab.

My eyes were slowly closing and my body was becoming heavy, I tried to fight the sleep but it got the best of me and I dozed off at my desk.

The next morning I woke up groggily, grabbed my phone, and put on my clothes. 

I work a cashier job at a convenience store, it doesn't pay well but it's the only thing I have.

I usually ride the train in the mornings, and I enjoy reading mangas on my way to work. And I have just the thing to fuel my mornings and wake me up, 'Isekai's'.

As I stood at the station, waiting for the train I read cliche isekai's. 

"This makes no sense, some random dragon was just resting in a cave for 1000 years and the MC just happened to find it?...not to mention him killing it by accident."

"Sigh~ Isekais suck... they're just stupid power fantasy..."

I thought I heard the train so I started to walk near the edge of the walk area, but somehow my shoe was untied and I tripped and fell. And as I sat on the rails I was terrified, knowing I was sure to die.

The train seemed to speed up and the lights flickered, nobody was even driving it and I swear it was smiling. 'Is that?...the infamous train-kun!? truck-kuns brother?'

I died on the rails that day.

I opened my eyes to see lush and green grass, blue skies, and high mountains. It looked like something out of a fantasy.

Looking around, I saw nothing but the same scenery. No people, no buildings, no homes. 

"Where the hell am I?..."

"Wait...please don't tell me...no...no...NO! why the hell am I in another world?!"

I stand up, checking my surroundings once more. 

Then the classic and cliche panel appears.

[Name: Ken Haru]

[Race: Human]

[Skills: 0]

[Level: 1]

[Mana: 1]

[Strength: 2]

[Attack Power: 2]

[Speed: 3]

[Defense: 4]

[TITLE(s) OBTAINED!]

['Newcomer']

"Yeah, this is for sure an Isekai.."

I walk into a forest where I'm bound to find some trouble.

I pick up a pretty big stone and then throw it to see what happens.

[+1 Skill: Enhanced Strength]

"W-What? Seriously? that easy?" 

To my right I see a pack of wolves, they growl with a hint of rage in their eyes. I could probably fight them off but I choose to just run.

"AHHHH!"

After running for a while the wolves were still gaining on me, but then a new skill was obtained.

[+1 Skill: Enhanced Speed]

All of my fatigue washed away and my legs became lighter. I started to practically glide on the ground at how fast I was running.

But the wolves weren't stopping and they started speeding up, but with my speed and strength skill combined, I was bound to cause some destruction.

I ran a bit more and turned around to face the wolves, I ran as fast as I could and used my strength skill plus my speed skills to add to the force. In one punch 2 wolves were obliterated.

I continued to obliterate the other wolves and once done, blood and guts were all on me.

[TITLE OBTAINED!]

['Wolf Slayer']

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

"That many levels in one go is insane..."

I open up the panel.

[Name: Ken Haru]

[Race: Human]

[Skills: Enhanced Strength, Enhanced Speed, Appraisal.]

[Level: 5]

[Mana: 1 -> 10]

[Strength: 2 -> 20]

[Attack Power: 2 -> 40]

[Speed: 3 -> 30]

[Defense: 4 -> 40]

"My stats increased, but...when did I get this skill?"

<<Appraisal>>

I looked around and saw a squirrel in the tree. 

[Adult Squirrel]

[Strength: 4]

[Speed: 10]

[Defense: 6]

"Of course, the classic appraisal skill."

I walked through the forest until I came around 3 large boars.

<<Appraisal>>

[Boar]

[Level: 99]

[Strength: 150]

[Speed: 120]

[Defense: 250]

"They are really strong...can I beat them? I just have to hope that my Isekai luck comes in clutch."

[Boar]

[Level: 99]

[Strength: 150]

[Speed: 120]

[Defense: 250]

...

[Boar]

[Level: 99]

[Strength: 150]

[Speed: 120]

[Defense: 250]

"I can maybe, just possibly take one but three is a bit much."

Looking over my shoulder, I see a stick in the shape of a sword.

"Wow... that's...perfect?"

I pick it up.

[+1 Skill: Amateur Sword Skills] (LVL. 1)

[TITLE OBTAINED!]

['Sword That Pierces The Heavens']

"That kind of title after only picking up a stick? how generous..."

With one step of my foot, I dashed at the boar with my stick in hand. It ripped right through the boar-like butter, its blood and organs splattering everywhere.

[+1 Skill: Sword Pierce]

[+1 Skill: Sword Slash]

[TITLE OBTAINED!]

['The Wilderness Slayer']

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

...

The level-ups continued for 5 minutes until it finally stopped.

[Name: Ken Haru]

[Race: Human]

[Level: 55]

[Titles: 'Newcomer', 'Wolf Slayer', 'The Wilderness Slayer']

[Skills: Enhanced Strength, Enhanced Speed, Appraisal, Amateur Sword Skills, Sword Pierce, Sword Slash, ]

[Mana: 10 -> 30]

[Strength: 20 -> 56]

[Attack Power: 40 -> 80]

[Speed: 30 -> 75]

[Defense: 40 -> 68]

"This is easy!...is this how all Isekai mc's feel?...well except Subaru I suppose."

I decided to keep the stick just in case, I also learned that I have an inventory space which is obvious.

With one click I hide the stick inside my inventory.

I continue my walk until I finally leave the forest and in front of me a carriage.

An old man looked to be the one seated at the front. Standing before the carriage a group of bandits.

I use my appraisal skills on them.

[Name: Aguni Ikku]

[Mana: 5]

[Strength: 16]

[Attack Power: 20]

[Speed: 13]

[Defense: 8]

"That seems to be the leader of the group, and if he's that weak then..."

[Name: Seo]

[Mana: 3]

[Strength: 8]

[Attack Power: 10]

[Speed: 5]

[Defense: 4]

All of the other bandit's stats were around the same level, I knew I could win this battle with ease.

"This is a typical trope in Isekai, I help the old man and he takes me to the town or kingdom. Pretty simple."

Dashing in front of the launched arrows, I grab my stick from the inventory and redirect them.

[+1 Skill: Enhanced Senses]

[+1 Skill: Reflect]

With the stick in hand, I gave off a menacing aura.

The bandits were stunned, all of them except the leader.

"Who's this bastard? Are you some type of hero? KAHAHAHA"

"Nah, just following the Isekai trope."

"Isekai trope? what is this bastard rambling on about?"

With one sword in hand, the leader dashed at me but his movements looked unbelievably slow. I just weaved my head back and forth, all with a disinterested face.

'W-What's with him?! how is he dodging all my attacks?' 

The leader then yelled, "IMPOSSIBLE!" 

With a swing of my sword, he dropped to the ground and his blood flung on my already tainted shirt.

"M-My god...that young man there, he did that with a stick alone?" the old man was dazed.

The bandits backed up in fear but I wasn't done yet.

I picked up the steel sword of the bandit leader.

[Real sword obtained!]

[Amateur Sword Skills -> Masterful Sword Skills.]

It was a massacre, with my strength skill, speed skill, and masterful sword skills I sliced all of them into pieces in just a blink of an eye.

The old man was too stunned to speak and just stared blankly, he even gulped in fear.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you...but could you take me to the nearest town or something?"

"O-Oh...I was just heading to Edith Kingdom anyway! w-would you like to tag along?"

"Absolutely"

I sat right beside the old man in the carriage and we set off for Edith Kingdom.

Remember, this is meant to be a parody of certain Isekai. It will be cliche and full of common tropes. The Mc will progress fast and even do a bit of face-slapping.

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