CHP 6

Living without family was hard. In my old life I've always had support, either family or friends close enough to be family. Maybe that's why I got attached so quickly to the Tonks family. I would've loved to be the edgy, super-strong self-insert that doesn't care about morals or human connections, only power, but that's not me. I want to be around people, I want to build friendships, I want familial love, romantic love.

Living with the Tonks, as brief as it had been, was soothing for my soul. The love they had for each other was like a balm to me. I did pick up shapeshifting from Dora (I've trained myself to only call her that to avoid hexes flying at me) but I didn't know enough transfiguration magic theory to pick it up fully right off the bat. The Six Eyes didn't help much in that regard because it was like knowing that 'Force = mass x acceleration' but not knowing what mass or force meant meant. I knew she was transfiguring herself but I couldn't understand how she managed to change so much of herself while still retaining a sense of self, or how she was doing such large changes wandlessly.

I could do with shifting small features though, the colour of my nails, shifting my cheekbones slightly higher, the shape of my ears, small stuff that made me look like a different. I could also now change the colour of my hair, and I will say, cosplaying as Satoru Gojo with white hair and Six Eyes was very, very fun. I really want to style on Voldemort, saying stuff like 'You're weak,' or 'Cry and apologize now, and I won't kill you.' Wishes and dreams, I'll get to do it eventually. I couldn't change my height and I didn't know what he looked like as a 3d person, so I looked like an approximation of Gojo when he was a child. Still fun though, even if Dora couldn't understand why I was saying 'I alone am the Honoured One' and looked at me like a cute puppy doing stupid things.

I was definitely enjoying being childish, I didn't remember the details of my childhood and Harry didn't have a childhood, so I was going to make the most of it. I would also have to deal with Voldemort in the future and that would definitely suck the child out of me. That sounded better in my head. But you know what I mean, war would kill my innocence. Even if I prevented Voldemort from rising, there was no guarantee that the Death Eaters won't just riot and start killing people anyways. At the end of the day, the war happened because of racists being unhappy, and losing and being forced to 'play nice' wasn't helping. Eventually they'll snap, like what happened at the Quidditch World Cup. They were too organized and held too much political power to be socially pressured into a losing peace.

I had gotten on the train early and had settled into a cabin of my own. I stored my luggage and left to explore the train. It was definitely a beautiful train, the colours and small details here and there made me think of a vibrant Victorian era mansion, but on wheels. The back of the train was usually where the younger students sat with the age going up as you got closer to the front. There were a few students going up and down the train looking for friends that might have arrived before them. I know that the Weasley family was perpetually late to arrive but maybe Hermione was already here?

I went ahead with my exploring and interrupted many snogging sessions. Nothing destroys the mood like a strange child staring at you. I definitely ruined their fun, but the joy I got from being a cockblock was greater. Eventually I found Hermione sitting close to the front in an empty cabin. She seemed to be trying to read but was lost in thought. I knocked to get her attention and entered. Her face lit up on recognizing me before quickly settling into something neutral.

"Hey Hermione, how are you? How was your vacation?" I asked.

"Oh... hey Harry," she replied, "I'm fine. Why… why didn't you read any of my letters or reply? I had written all about my vacation in them but you didn't even reply. Are we… are we not friends anymore?" She looked hurt. Understandably so, I would too if I thought my friend essentially ghosted me for months. It also confirmed some suspicions I had about what was going on. Still though, Hermione was a good friend and it would be better if I resolved this before it escalated into something bitter.

"You sent me letters? But I didn't receive any. I thought you didn't want to talk to me either. Ron didn't send me any either." I replied. It was a faint worry of Harry's. "Maybe it's because I don't live with my uncle anymore? Your letters might have gone to the wrong place." That was definitely not how messenger owls worked, I was pretty sure, it was something though, a reason to blame. I couldn't know that there was an elf behind my troubles unless metaknowledge was involved.

"Ron didn't send me any letters either. I thought you both didn't want to be with me anymore," she said. She seemed glad that I didn't want to break our friendship and switched her attention to the other titbit I shared. "Why aren't you living with your relatives anymore? I thought they were your only family. Where do you live now?" she asked.

"Maybe Ron got your address wrong or he thought that it would be weird for muggles to get owls with letters on them or any other one of a thousand reasons. Let's be honest, Ron's not really the type to write anything either. Mrs. Weasley nearly sent Howlers just to get him to write back. I'm sure he still considers you as his friend," I said.

Hermione seemed to accept that for now. They were valid reasons for not getting any letters but Ron was never the paragon of thought when it came to social situations. Maybe he forgot or the elf was out to get us. When in doubt, blame the elf. I don't have much against Dobby but his 'help' did end up nearly killing me in the story.

"And I don't live with my relatives now because I got kicked out. It's a long story and it would be better if I told it to you in my cabin. The ones here are supposed to be for the older students I think," I continued.

Hermione grumbled something about 'it not being a rule' and that I needed to help her with her luggage. Being the gentleman that I am, I agreed and picked the lightest bag and moved ahead of her. She needed the workout with how skinny her arms were. I was helping her out, honest. She was struggling with how heavy her bag was though, so I gave up being an asshole and came back to help her.

When I got back to my cabin, I found it occupied by a small blonde girl with radish earrings and big blue eyes. She was staring into nowhere but quickly focused on us when we entered.

"Hello, I hope you don't mind. My luggage was in here before and I'd gone ahead to pick her up," I said, pointing to Hermione. "I don't mind you sitting here but if you're uncomfortable we could leave. It's still pretty early so there are free cabins available."

"Oh, I don't mind. You two seem like good people and the Wrackspurts seem to avoid you," she replied.

We introduced ourselves and I didn't find myself very surprised at finding out she was Luna Lovegood. With there being a relative stranger in our midst, any discussion regarding my relatives and housing situation seemed unlikely so we settled down, Hermione with her book and me beside her trying to absorb knowledge through osmosis. Until building curiosity burst and Hermione began asking Luna about what Wrackspurts were and successive questions with each new non-sensical answer Luna gave. I chimed in occasionally, giving out more bizarre completely made up explanations in between that Luna corrected me on.

We ended up not seeing Ron at all, and though we were worried about him we couldn't really do anything about it. Still, it was enjoyable ride with conversation between us until we reached Hogwarts.

With us being Second years and Luna being a First year, we had to separate. I lamented the departure of our new friend and missing the opportunity to get on the boat to see the scenic view of Hogwarts. I would have to settle with the memories I had of it.

An interesting thing to note, was that I could in fact see the Thestrals used to drag the carriages for students to Hogwarts. Canonically, they were only visible to those who had seen death. People often end up awakening the ability to see Cursed Spirits in moments of near death, maybe the mechanism for the spectral horses' invisibility was something similar to that? I knew that this world was not the Wizarding World I knew with how many 'Cursed Spirits' I exorcised at the Dursley's and the different time period.

Still, aside from that little titbit, it was a mostly uneventful ride. Ron was still a no-show by the time of the Sorting in the Main Hall, along with the entire Weasley family. I was seated beside Hermione and we were chatting and I overheard some talk about the portal to the train not working, and the Aurors having to be called before they could get it working again. So that was something that happened this time as well? But I was already at the station, there was no reason for him to block it. Maybe Dobby didn't know or he had something else in mind? I was guessing that he was behind the Weasley's absence. Maybe it was his block on the portal that stopped them? His reasons for doing what he did in the movie was mostly to keep me safe and mess with the Malfoys who mistreated him. If he stopped the Diary from getting to Hogwarts he technically accomplishes that. Assuming that Ginny still has the Diary.

As I was contemplating this, some commotion erupted at the entrance to the Main Hall. Everyone turned to look and McGonagall and Snape moved to intercept the cause.