12 Don't Judge Me

It was nighttime in Bygone Island. Everything was peaceful until Penny was woken up by the loud sound of buzzing robotic wings flapping in the air. Grumbling, she climbed out of her cozy bed and hurried outside of Sonic's shack to see the biggest moth robot in the world, and Eggman was driving it. The other thing which caught her eye was Sonic running after it with a giant fly swatter.

"That moth bot is no match for my swat-a-pult!" Sonic smirked, chasing after Eggman's moth mobile and swatting it with everything he got. Penny's eyes widened a little bit in amusement.

"Knuckles. We're on code green for moth bait!" Sonic called to the echidna.

"Look at me, I'm having an idea!" Knuckles called, running into the scene carrying a gigantic lightbulb over his head. Okay, Penny couldn't help but laugh at that scene. Adding more to her amusement, Eggman's moth bot got so distracted by the light that it started following it.

"I'd have to remodel my robots into something that's not easily distracted!" Eggman complained, trying to control his robot.

Up in the air, Sticks called to Knuckles. "KNUCKLES!" She cried. "YOU GOT A MOTH ON YOUR TAIL!" She shook her head. "You can't trust moths! They read minds! TURN LEFT!" She screamed at Knuckles.

Penny winced as Knuckles banged into a wall and fell on his rear.

"NO! MY LEFT!" Sticks screamed. She sighed. "Oh, well, he's under the moth's mind control. I guess we have no choice but to destroy him."

"I'll release the mothballs!" Tails said.

"All right, we have a choice." Sticks said with a sigh.

Tails released the mothballs, and they landed on the moth, destroying it in several explosions later. Sonic did the finishing touches to swatting the moth until it crashed to the ground. Sonic smirked, zooming over to check up on Eggman to see his reaction to the latest defeat.

Eggman looked around his now broken ship and felt his neck in pain. "OW! MY NECK!" He whined. He glared at Sonic. "You CHEATED, hedgehog!"

"How do you cheat in a fight?" Sonic asked, his eyes raised a little.

"Fight's over, cheater," Eggman growled. He motioned to his robots. "Pull me out of this piece of junk! Be careful, I'm injured!" Eggman grumbled as Orbot and Cubot grabbed him by the arms and flew off with their boss in tow.

"Yes!" Sonic smirked. "Victory is mine!"

"IT'S A TAINTED VICTORY!" Eggman roared back at Sonic.

"Yes!" Sonic smirked. "Tainted victory is mine!"

Penny sighed, shaking her head and walking back into the shack. "Now, that was interesting..." She hummed to herself before falling back on her bed and into a deep slumber.

...................................................................................

The next day, Penny sat in between Sonic and Tails, sharing a comedically large sandwich. A villager walked up, frowning. "Excuse me, are you Sonic the Hedgehog?"

Penny looked a bit worried. This kid sounded serious.

"Hah!" Sonic smirked. "Guilty as charged! So what will it be, kid? Autograph? You want your picture taken with me? Maybe a bit of this comedically large sandwich?"

"You've been served. Dr. Eggman is suing you." The boy handed Sonic a letter.

Penny's eyes widened.

"You sure you wouldn't prefer a bite of the sandwich?" Sonic asked. The boy just turned his heal and left. Sonic shrugged. "Well, most of it's going to go to waste."

Sonic took the letter, frowning. "Eggman is suing me? Nobody's going to take this seriously!"

"It's the trial of the century that everyone is taking very seriously!"

Penny frowned at that voice. Soar. He was standing in front of the three friends, a microphone in his hand. Penny shrunk in her seat, moving closer to Sonic. Soar continued. "This will ruin the life of whomever loses. Bought to you by Meh Burger!" Soar hummed as he took a bite from his burger, and tossed it away. "Let's see if we can get a statement from the defendant!"

He held the microphone up to Sonic, and the blue hedgehog smirked. "The only thing I'm guilty of is being awesome!"

"Did you hear that, folks?" Soar asked. "Sonic says he's guilty!"

"Of being AWESOME!" Sonic snapped.

"Hey, who's the news reporter here?" Soar snapped back.

.....................................................................................

Later, Penny watched in the courtroom as Sonic walked up to Eggman with a frown on his face. "Come on, Eggman, you're not fooling..."

However, Eggman yelped in "fear" and cowered behind his robots. "AHH! Help! Sonic's attacking me unprovoked again! Leave me alone, you brute!"

The jury gasped.

Sonic grumbled as he took his seat in between Knuckles and Penny. Normally, since she was a witness, she would've sat with the other witnesses, but she managed to sit next to Sonic.

Knuckles smiled, unlocking his briefcase. "Thanks for making me your lawyer. I couldn't be more proud if you did it because you actually believed in me instead of because you think this trial is a joke!"

"Well, I'm glad my contempt for this situation worked out for you," Sonic said with an eye roll.

Knuckles took out a sandwich, however at his first bite, the continents fell out, and Knuckles grumbled in annoyance. "Where'd it go?" He slipped his hand into the sandwich, and he let out a yell of terror.

Penny chuckled. At least Knuckles fooling around calmed her down. Sonic glanced at Penny with worry. "You doing okay?"

"Yes..." Penny nodded, looking down at the table. "I don't like this kind of stuff...too much tension for me."

Sonic pulled her into a side hug. "It'll be okay." He said.

"You make me hope that's true..." Penny mumbled.

"Arise for the honorable lithium-ion powered judge bot." The cop said flatly.

Penny, Sonic, Knuckles, and everyone else stood up as Judgebot entered the room. Orbot and Cubot tried to raise their boss but accidentally dropped him in his seat.

The jury gasped.

"I-I'm okay!" Eggman reassured them.

"Let all who come before me know, I have been programmed to be fair and impartial, and in no way favor to Dr. Eggman, the great man who created me!"

Penny raised her eyebrows.

Sonic growled in annoyance.

Judge Bot hammered the table obnoxiously. "Why are there cockroaches on my bench?!" He complained.

Mr. Barker walked up. "T. W. Barker, your honor. The counsel of the plaintiff. I intend to prove that Sonic T. Hedgehog has willfully and maliciously attacked my permanently injured client, Dr. Eggman."

"BOO!" Knuckles growled at him.

"Please refrain from such outbursts in my courtroom!" Judge Bot said. "Now, commence your opening statement!"

"That...was my opening statement." Knuckles said, and Penny slapped her head.

The first witness was Sticks.

T.W. Barker glared at Sticks. "Isn't it true that Dr. Eggman was attacked by Mr. The Hedgehog while doing nothing more than taking a leisurely evening drive in a harmless moth shaped vehicle?"

"Harmless?!" Sticks asked, her eyes wide. "Eggman's robots destroy mountains! Level cities! Put songs in your head that you can't get out!" She jumped on the stand, singing, "If frogs had no wings and snakes had no hair, and automobiles went flying through the air...NO MORE MUSIC!" She screamed the last part.

Sonic, Knuckles, and Penny glanced at each other.

Sticks continued. "All of Eggman's robots must be destroyed!"

Everyone gasped, except for Sonic, Knuckles, and Penny.

Sticks gulped nervously and smiled sheepishly at Judge Bot. "I...I mean, not you, your Holiness."

"Oh, boy..." Sonic mumbled.

After Sticks, next up was Orbot. Mr. Barker approached him. "Mr.... Orbot, wasn't it? Would you describe Dr. Eggman as kind, and honest?"

"No, not really," Orbot said, waving his hand dismissively.

Was Penny imagining this, or was Eggman growling threateningly at Orbot? The red spherical robot jumped, his eyes wide. "Oh, because those words aren't strong enough! He's kind-er! And kind-est!" He sighed, placing his hand on his forehead. "Good save, Orbot." He whispered.

"Turn off your internal dialogue switch, fool, and just show the film!" Eggman growled.

Orbot quickly pressed a button in his mouth, and a video appeared on the wall. The video showed Eggman pushing babies Orbot and Cubot on the swing. Cubot knocked into him, and for a moment Eggman growled at Cubot, before returning his corny smile and pushing Cubot on the swing.

The video ended.

The jury sniffled at the "emotional" moment.

"Seriously?" Penny whispered. clenching her head.

Cubot hurried over to Eggman, still dressed in his baby suit. "Hey, boss, now that we're done with that act, would you like me to return the stuff to the costume shop?"

Eggman growled.

"Finally, a witness I can depend on!" Sonic said, smiling at Tails.

Tails stood in the stand as Mr. Barker faced him. "Could you tell us, what it is you admire about Sonic the so-called hedgehog?"

"So many things!" Tails smiled. "He's fast, he's cunning, he can destroy any opponent with a single spin dash! He's got a lovely singing voice..."

"My." Mr. Barker smirked. "He sounds like the total package!"

"He is!" Tails said.

"If total package means the fast, crafty menace society, bent on the destruction of anyone who disagrees with him?!" Barker snapped.

"Oh, man..." Sonic groaned.

"I-I never said that!" Tails said, his eyes wide.

"That's right," Barker smirked. "I left out, lovely singing voice."

The jury laughed.

Mr. Barker turned to the jury. "Now, these are the opponents that Mr. the Hedgehog mercilessly destroys, can you name one he battles with a regularity that borders on formulaic?"

"Well, I guess he battles Eggman a lot...." Tails said.

"Ah-ha!" Mr. Barker said. "How long did you think you can keep that from us?"

"Objection, your majesty!" Knuckles said, standing up. "We're losing!"

"Overruled!" Judge Bot said. "But yes, yes you are, badly."

Next up was Penny.

"Miss Penny, wasn't it?" Mr. Barker said, glancing at the human girl.

"Y-yes.." Penny gulped nervously. Sonic nodded his head encouragingly at her, and she nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Would you say that Dr. Eggman was indeed injured by Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"I would never say that!" Penny snapped, her brown eyes showing anger. "I wouldn't accuse my friend of anything!"

"What's so great about him?" Barker asked.

"Well, he took me in when I had no place to stay," Penny said, stuttering for words. "And he looks after me, protects me..."

"Tell me, Penny, does Sonic ever attack Eggman?"

"W-well...." Penny gulped nervously, wringing her hands.

"Well?"

"Maybe sometimes..." Penny said. "But I know that he only does it to protect those he cares about!"

She glanced at Sonic, who gave her a nod of approval.

"And what about last night?" Barker challenged. "Do you think that Sonic had injured Dr. Eggman?"

"Not on your life." Penny seethed through her teeth. "I noticed that Eggman moved his neck before claiming he was injured! This is an ACT. That's all I have to say." She hissed, walking off the stand and returning to her spot next to Sonic.

"You did good," Sonic whispered.

"Thanks." Penny smiled.

"I rest my case." Mr. Barker said, walking away.

"That guy's good!" Knuckles said, pointing to Mr. Barker. "You should hire him as your lawyer!"

"I'll be fine!" Sonic said. "People know the truth about me!"

Knuckles stood up. "Well, now, I'm just a simple country lawyer, not as sharp as Mr. Barker here, I don't know how to do that fancy lawyering." Knuckles shook his head. "Heck, I don't know how to do simple things, like, putting on mittens! I don't even know which end of the toothbrush goes in your nose! I'm as dumb as a rock! Just like you good folks." Knuckles motioned his hand to the jury, who growled at him.

"The defense calls... Knuckles!" The red echidna hurried onto the stand, competing against himself. Which, Penny admitted, was the funniest thing she had ever seen Knuckles do.

"Oh, you're not going to trap me with your lawyer tricks." Witness Knuckles said. "I know how this works. I've seen hospital shows on television. Who trap people. Wait, what was the question again?"

Lawyer Knuckles now stood in front of the stand. "So tell me, Mr..... Knuckles, wasn't it?"

Witness Knuckles nods.

"Is Sonic capable of doing this kind of damage to Dr. Eggman?" Lawyer Knuckles asked.

"What?!" Witness Knuckles said. "No way!"

Sonic smirked, nodding his head in approval.

Witness Knuckles continued. "He's scrawny, weak, and pathetic! I always have to bail him out of jail! It's an embarrassment! What a loser! And frankly, it sickens me to look at him."

"So, could Sonic hurt Eggman like this?"

"Well, um..."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"No!" Witness Knuckles sobbed. "Sonic is too lame to do that kind of damage! There. I said it. I said it!"

"Hey!" Sonic snapped, and Penny tried to stop him, but Sonic was in a roll. "I'm totally capable of whaling on Eg..."

The audience stared at him.

Sonic chuckled nervously. "..Egg florentine for breakfast!" He finished. "I call them, Whaled on Eggs,"

"Oh, for the love of Almond's Holy, that's even worse than mine!" Orbot sighed, shaking his head.

"I would rest my case," Knuckles told Judge Bot, walking away. "But I'm hoping there's another fist sandwich in it..."

"So, has the jury reached the verdict?" Judge Bot asked.

"Actually, we need to deliberate first." the Beaver said.

"Yes, of course." Judge Bot agreed. "That would be an impartial way to do it. Very well, then, the jury shall go into the deliberation room, while the rest of us have a groovy hippy-themed dance party!"

...............................................................

After the dance party, the jury was now back on the case. Knuckles smiled at Sonic. "Some party, right? My mouth feels like it's full of socks!" He frowned. "Oh, wait..." He reached into his mouth and pulled out a sock covered in slop. "Oh. I was wondering where that was!"

"Seriously, Knuckles?" Penny moaned, hiding her face in her hands. "Seriously?"

Sonic patted her back reassuringly.

The door opened. Sonic frowned. "Here comes the jury.. man they look serious."

"Has the jury reached the verdict?" Judge Bot asked again.

"Actually, have, your honor." The beaver said.

"And would the jury care to share it with us?"

"Actually, we would." The beaver clasped his hands together.

"Am I going to have to make you say it?" Judge Bot asked.

"Actually..." The beaver frowned. "What was the question again?"

"GUILTY!" Judge Bot growled, pointing his claw at Sonic.

"Of being awesome?" Sonic asked nervously. Penny grabbed onto his arm, her face pale.

"Now to make the verdict go crucial, I'll just pound my gravel and..."

"NOT SO FAST!"

Everyone turned to see Amy standing in the doorway, her hammer in her hand. Boy did she looked pissed.

"That's not gravel! This is gravel!" Amy let out a grunt as she slammed her hammer on the ground, causing Judge Bot to topple over, and Mr. Barker fell flat to the floor.

To Penny's shock, Eggman moved his neck towards Mr. Barker's fallen body.

"Hey, look at Eggman, he can move his neck just fine!" Sonic growled.

"But, I mean..." Eggman fell off his chair and landed on the ground, terribly acting out being injured by Sonic. Again.

"Save it, Egghead," Sonic growled.

Eggman growled, standing up, taking off his cast. "Fine. You leave me no choice. Not that I wasn't going to do this, anyway!"

Penny's eyes widened as a whole army of bees and robots entered the jury room. The villagers ran out screaming in panic, while Amy smashed each robot away with her hammer. Sonic did the same.

"Order in the court!" Judge bot called, hammering his gravel.

"Yeah, I'll have one of those fist sandwiches?" Knuckles smirked, smashing into a robot with his fist.

Penny hid behind Tails as he smashed a chair onto a bot. However, the chair broke. Tails and Penny chuckled nervously. "Oops. I, uh, you see..."

Tails thought quickly and pulled the robot's antenna, causing it to break. He and Penny high fived each other.

Amy smirked at Sonic. "I leave town for a week to attend a beekeeping summoner, and look what happens?"

"Thanks, Amy!" Penny smiled, actually happy to see the pink hedgehog for once. Amy smiled back before returning to the battle.

.......................................................

"I'm Soar the Eagle, reporting live from the courthouse from where we're told there is breaking news!" Soar smiled.

At that comedic moment, the court wall smashed, and Eggman flew out, followed by Sonic, who dodged Eggman's lasers. Sonic growled at Eggman. "I'll give you something to sue me about!" And with a mighty punch, Sonic sent Eggman flying into space.

"Well, that about wraps it up," Soar said. "Stay tuned for Comedy Chip's New Years Eve Rocking Banana coming up next"

...........................................................

A banana lowers down in front of Comedy Chip and his partner. Comedy Chip sighed. "Well, that was anticlimactic."

"HEY-OH!" His partner smirked in agreement.