19 Kage Beef Revengence

"Well fuck me sideways." Jiraiya muttered as he looked through his spyglass at the zombie forms of Hashirama and Tobirama Senju as they led the counter attack to our counter attack with Orochimaru and his hapless Sound Four bodyguards taking up the rear.

Thank God Edo Tensei isn't as full retard as it was in the OG setting. No immortal warrior with unlimited chakra in return for sacrificing a Genin, but instead the jutsu took four sacrifices and combined their chakra at the time of the sacrifice to revive a dead person. This could obviously be gamed via the use of substances like the Hero Water that burn the subject's life force in return for a massive boost to their chakra, allowing the summoner to greatly close the gap between the four sacrifices and Shinobi of legendary caliber such as the First and Second Hokage.

The Edo Tensei zombies could fall four times over, but each defeat reduced them by a quarter of their power, meaning that you can't just unleash these things on an enemy force without Fuinjutsu capabilities and call it a day. All in all I was damn grateful to the invisible hand that slapped the full retard out of the setting, but it was a cold comfort considering the situation after an agonizing headache formed as Hashirama deleted a huge portion of my clones with the Nativity of a World of Trees.

"My money!" I barked as many of my puppets were crushed by the sudden growth of a new chakra dense forest that also broke down the perimeter wall of the village.

Tobirama then flooded the battlefield with a great torrent from his mouth. My clones easily rode the surface of this raging wave, but Naruto's burst apart when slammed by the oncoming water. The pair of Kage brothers then started running at my boys. At first a steady jog, then a pace that would push most Jonin, then faster than those Jonin could ever hope to be, and finally Tobirama broke rank with his brother and moved like a man shaped bolt of lighting.

My clones positioned their puppets to hem the speedster in, but the man assessed his routes faster than anyone sans Sharigan, always decively moving between traps and around blockades. Evading attacks and delivering quick counters to the puppeteers behind the men and animals of wood.

Hashirama never put in that much effort, simply bull rushing into the puppets and smashing them to pieces with punches and kicks that have more in common with rockslides than human combat.

"What do we do, Kiba?" Naruto cried while he rubbed his temples, apparently the dispersal of that many clones was enough to make it through even his thick skull.

Rather than speak I chucked Soldier Pills at Baru and Kuromaru who snapped them down their throats as their bodies bristled with newfound power.

"Let's go!" I shouted and the two dogs leapt at me while I worked through rapid hand signs.

The dogs and I merged in both body and chakra in a result far greater than the sum of its parts, a three headed wolf the size of Gamabunta and the other giant frog summons. Our black and tan form cratered the ground beneath our paws as we leapt into action, clearing the wall and flying through the air to the location of the Kage and Orochimaru.

"Kakashi, Guy, after him!" Jiraiya shouted as he too leapt from the top of the wall and into the battle below.

Many people dream of self powered flight, but I doubt many people dream of doing it as a ballistic three headed wolf missile. Up above it all it was easy to trivialize the raw number of people we'd already killed this morning, and even the god-like enemies we faced. People who reshaped landscapes, society, and lives like sculptors with clay. I was getting there, and this transformation was the platform for my ascendancy past the realm of the shinobi of Part One and into the Biju and Kaiju fights of Shippuden.

With Baru and Kuromaru merged into me our instincts and senses shot into a realm not unlike that of Sage Mode, as we could smell each individual chakra signature for a hundred miles, meaning our leap was right on target. Orochimaru and the Kage stood out like beacons in the night for us. We couldn't miss them if we tried.

Our double coat of fur bristled and formed hard spikes and and the titanic slabs of muscle encasing our body tenses and contracted to rotate us so hard it formed sparks in the air like a trail of orange fireflies bursting off us. Every mighty and enhanced tree that touched us turned into saw dust instantly and exploded violently yet failed to deviate our course straight at Orochimaru.

With great focus and control we release our hardened coat of fur as a barrage of spears in a hundred and eighty degree arc of death below and beside us, and in under a second this new forest turned into a wasteland as tree and rock shattered under our assault and great gouts of soil kicked up.

Three demonic Rashomon Gates dropped down between us and our target, but we tore them down with three brief grinding collisions. Our enhanced vision caught sight of the Snake Sannin's face as his ultimate defense failed spectacularly and the man prepared Plan B to save his ass. (OG Kiba's Two Headed Wolf Transformation made it though all three gates as well… so much for the power of the Tailed Beast Balls)

Our massive body landed on its paws after passing over Orochimaru's position and slid to a stop, creating deep furrows in the torn up earth. From the sanguine slop that was once his bodyguard's Orochimaru emerged, vomiting out an unharmed body covered in slime.

"That was quite the show." the man chuckled as he brushed some of Tayuya's red haired scalp off his shoulder.

"To think that the Inuzuka Clan has come this far." Hashirama laughed as he emerged from a very deep wood dome and his brother reformed from his first takedown.

"He doesn't have another of those attacks in him." Tobirama declared as his paper mache body finished pulling itself back together.

Well fuck you, dude. In just one morning I help arrest a Jinchuriki, preemptively attacked and defeated two shinobi villages, and reshaped the landscape with a single attack. Forgive me if I'm a little winded and can't just unleash more Bijudama level destruction. Give me like ten minutes to catch my wind and I'll gladly fuck you up again, bro.

And were does this asshat get off with that dismissive tone? You got your ass passed around by two dude's from Kumo with Down's Syndrome. Twice. You were supposedly the smartest dude around and these dumb mother fuckers rammed the flag pole up your ass twice. If someone jacked my respect like that you can be damn sure that I'd be hunting them down to run it back and show their punk asses some new new that they ain't ever seen before and ain't ever going to see again.

Dude was right about the Uchiha though. Fuck those guys.

"Still though, it is impressive that he managed a transformation that touches even a fraction of my chakra's capacity in life." Hashirama smiled, "Konoha stands tall. Good luck young man, it would be a shame to kill you."

"Dynamic Entry!" Might Guy shouted as he blitzed in with an aura of green vaporized sweat.

His foot impacted the Second Hokage who greatly underestimated Might Mother Fucking Guy and tried to parry the attack causing his body to explode on contact and reform as Konoha's Sublime Green Beast swarmed him, looking to burst his remaining lives down.

Hashirama side stepped as a blur of speed and lighting came at him, snatching Kakashi's forearm.

"A nice technique." the man complimented, "But not enough!"

Hashirama kicked Kakashi away, folding his body in half around the kick, but obviously dealing with the man in the least fatal way he could. My Jonin Sensei skipped across the loose soil and slammed into a tree stump upside down.

It looked like a gag, so he is probably fine... or paralyzed from the waist down.

Jiraiya landed between Konoha and Orochimaru, standing tall just as Lord First said.

"Turn back, traitor." he commanded, "You will go no further."

"My plans have failed, it's true." the snake man chuckled, "But the idea that you can stop me from doing anything I want is humorous enough to raise my mood after this debacle."

Orochimaru ran a bloody thumb over the snake summoning tattoo on his arm and from a sea of smoke emerged five humongous snakes led by Manda, the colossal purple and black horned serpent boss of the Ryuchi Cave Snakes.

Jiraiya countered by summoning the three largest toads of Mount Myoboku, Gamabunta, Gamahiro, and Gamaken.

"This doesn't look good, Jiraiya!" Gamabunta proclaimed as he saw the forces arrayed against them.

"Just buy me some time." Jiraiya ordered as he sat atop Gamabunta's head.

Manda struck at Gamabunta with his huge jaws open wide enough to swallow the toad boss whole but a black and brass staff erupted from the walls of Konoha and knocked the enormous reptile back before retracting. At the origin of the attack stood Hiruzen Sarutobi in his black combat attire.

"Monkey, is that you?" Hashirama shouted as he parried another of Kakashi's attacks with ease, "You've gotten so old!"

Rather than talk, Hiruzen burst into action and struck down the final life of Tobirama as I pounced on one of the brown snakes with red scarves and crocodilian heads. It tried to bite and coil around me, but it failed to break through my Needle Jizo defense, and suffered like it attacked a porcupine.

Gamahiro and Gamaken engaged the other two brown snakes, and the midnight blue snake bounced it's head off Gamaken's giant bowl shaped shield as the hill sized magenta toad pinned his snake down with his spiked sasumata.

Gamahiro attacked the first of the brown snakes with one of his swords the tree sized blades scoring deep cuts on the serpant as it tried to bit the toad back, only to get crunched down on my my Lion's Mane Jutsu grew my hair rapidly and allowed it to grapple with enemies before coming together to form a dragon type justu with a killer bite.

The pinned brown snake and the one wrestling me recieved similar fates as in the three headed wolf form I could summon up to nine of these hair dragon attacks, which quickly clamped down on the brown snakes while the midnight blue serpent, Aoba, fought a successful defensive battle against the pair, but seeing the fates of the nameless brown snakes and the three of us barring down on him, he wisely sent himself home in a burst of smoke.

Freed from the wrassle Baru, Kuromaru, and I burst into smoke as well separating and gasping for air as our hearts hammered in our chests. Even with the Soldier Pills, reshaping the landscape and grappling with a giant snakes exhausted us.

Nearby Harashima battled Hiruzen, Kakashi, and Guy in a display of strength, speed, and skill that proves that he is the only God of Shinobi to have lived in the modern era. Of course Guy seemed to be living his little boy dreams fighting the man, and probably could have ended the fight outright by opening the next gate.

As I struggled to my feet, Orochimaru appeared before me with the Kusanagi no Tsurugi held overhead for a descending strike. I tried to pull Kubikiribocho between me and the attack but the man had me dead to rights, or at least he did until an invisible punch struck his elbow and blew his arm up.

The Snake Sannin and I both briefly glanced at his missing arm before Jiraiya came in with a dynamic entry of his own with Ma and Pa - the diminutive elder toad sages - on his shoulders and his features looking very toadlike.

"Yoink!" I shouted as I snatched the man's sword from the air.

The blade began to glow blue as Orochimaru tried to retrieve it telekinetically, and I poured my chakra into the sword as I cycled through the various chakra flows trying to disrupt his control of the blade. A piercing scream tore out of the sword as it burst alight with fire chakra flow and the sword stopped struggling.

I canceled the flow and looked at the polished jian style sword, giving it a few satisfying swings before aiming it at Harashima and sending a burst of chakra to it that explosively extended the blade to pierce through the man's chest.

"Well done!" he shouted as he tore himself free of the blade and his paper mache body healed itself.

The sudden twenty five percent drop in his power made the difference between him and his attackers shrink to the point that they overcame him again and again. First guy landed a knockout head kick and then Kakashi got his vengeance with a Chidori through the man's chest.

"Always remember why we founded the village, Monkey." the man spoke before Hiruzen nodded and struck his head from his shoulders with a swing of his Adamantine Staff to snuff out his final revive.

Orochimaru and my dad battled it out, with the former taking an ever increasing beating until his head popped off his body from an uppercut punch. Jiraiya stilled as his teammate's body collapsed, staring at the decapitated corpse in stunned disbelief.

He was right to disbelieve, as when the head stopped rolling its mouth opened and ten thousand snakes emerged from it, each spitting up a blade with which to stab the Sannin's foes. Jiraiya reacted to this via a combination attack with Ma and Pa that mixed fire release, wind release and Toad Oil for a blistering conflagration.

When the smoke and ashes cleared neither Orochimaru's head nor body could be found.

Sad face.