9 Chapter 8: Second Thoughts?

(Troy's POV)

"Oh, by the way, Troy, Dad said if you wanted to marry Amy, please do so." As I heard Al uttered these words on the other line, my mind went blank. I was completely frozen.

Is this a joke or something? Wait, is this a time for Al to joke around?

I was about to respond and scold him, telling him that this time isn't good to joke around.

"Bro, I'm not kidding. Dad really said that."

I heard him spoke further and it left me more stunned than I was before.

I don't even know what to react. I mean, should I be happy that Mr. Young trusted me for Amy? Of course, I am. There's no question about that. But looking at the current situation, I think this is not a good time to talk about that.

If it was a month ago, I would marry her immediately. In fact, I already bought a ring to ask her to be my wife. But I don't want to make her feel that I am taking advantage of her situation. If I will ask her to marry me, I will see to it to ask her properly. A way how a man asks his woman to be his. A way that she deserves to be asked and not the impulsive way.

Mr. Young who, ever since was neutral about our relationship would give away her daughter's hand. Well, maybe I've earned his trust especially during this moment, but still, I wanted to ask him formally about it.

This is very far from what I expected.

But should I?

Should we just go immediately to the Civil Affairs Office?

D*mn, this is so tempting.

"Troy," Amy snapped me from my thoughts. "Are you okay? You look pale."

"I-I'm fine," I replied.

"What did my brother say? Did he bully you? You look so unwell after you hang up the call." She confusingly stated. I hadn't even realized that the phone call was already over.

"I'm sorry, love. I just remembered something." I weakly smiled. Though my mind was still in bewilderment as I can't get what Al said out of my head.

"Don't worry, love. It's nothing, really," and she rolled her eyes at me.

"So, what did my brother say? Am I going back home?" She asked as she shrugged off the previous topic.

"Unfortunately, your dad won't allow you to go home yet," I explained to her gently. "Things aren't doing well in your family home."

"Oh." I saw her eyes looked down in sadness, "it's because of me, right?"

"Amy," I reached out my hand to hold hers but she avoided it.

"It's alright, Troy. It's actually my fault." I heard her silently cry and I usher her to lean on my chest.

"If not because of me, my family would probably be in peace right now. Was I selfish when I came here, Troy?" she said between sobs.

"No, Amy. None of this was your fault." I cupped her cheeks to look me in the eye.

Amy was aware of the situation in her family since I don't want to hide anything from her. I believe that even though her memories were temporarily gone, she will be the courageous Amy who will not back down in everything thrown into her.

But it was also making me worried. The fact that maybe she will give herself a hard time to take in everything. That was also one of the reasons why I asked dad to give up my responsibilities as our company's CEO for the time being. I wanted to support Amy as she recuperates from amnesia.

"Stop blaming yourself, okay? Like I said the last time, we can't avoid the things that were to come, we just have to face them directly. Everything will be in its right places in time, let's just endure for a little while, alright?" I kissed her forehead and hugged her tight, allowing her to soak my shirt with her tears.

"I promise you won't be alone facing this, Am. I will be with you in every step of the way." I whispered to her.

We stayed that way for a few minutes, enjoying each other's comfort in silence, then decided to go home. Her eyes were still red from crying as she looked at the buildings we passed from the car's window.

"Troy," she gently called my name, making me glance at her as we stopped when the traffic lights went red. She was still looking outside when she continued to talk. "What if I couldn't regain my memories anymore?"

I looked at her sincerely and held her hand as she looked at me in the eye waiting for my answer.

"Then we will create new memories together."

"Amy, with memories or no memories, I love you for who you are. And I know you feel the same way too." I returned my gaze on the road and stepped on the gas when the lights turned green.

I sighed and continued, "if you were uncertain of what you feel towards me just because you lost your memories, then let's start from the very beginning. We'll do the things you loved or the things you want to do. I'll court you again, I'll make you fall in love with me again, and I'll never get tired of doing those things for you, Am."

"What if I won't be able to reciprocate everything you've done for me?" She looked down, clasping her hands on her lap.

"I'm not asking you to reciprocate anything, Amy. All I want from you is to just allow me to take good care of you. That's all."

"What if…" she murmured.

I parked the car on the side street and looked at her, exasperated by her train of thoughts towards me. "There were no 'what ifs' in life, Amy."

I heavily sighed, exhaling all the frustration I felt from the conversation we just had.

"I know that you're having a hard time figuring out things. I know you're afraid. I know that you badly wanted to regain your memories back. But Amy, we couldn't rush anything. No matter how much you pressure yourself to recover them, all we could do is to just let things be."

"Amy…" I held her hand and put them on my chest so that she can feel my heartbeat. "what should I do to prove myself to you? Can't you hear how this heart beats only for you? Love, I am willing to defy anything for you, even if it costs me my life.

"I'm saying this to you again, I am not asking you for anything in return. Just trust me, Amy. Please, just trust me."

The next thing I felt was her hand wiping away my tears.

"Troy, I'm sorry. I just felt like I'm being a burden to you. I can't remember anything and merely trusting my instincts on everything. I feel bad for you because I think I'm only giving you a hard time."

"You're right about everything, Troy. I'm afraid, I'm blaming myself, I feel being useless, and trying to fit puzzles in my head. But baby, please don't give up on me. Being here with you makes my heart at peace. With you by my side, I've never felt calmer. That even though my mind seems a shattered piece, when you're with me makes me completely whole. For me, it felt odd yet it seemed like my soul is bounded to be with you."

"With all these things that I strangely felt towards you, I'm afraid that if these memories won't return, you'll have a change of heart and just leave me behind."

Everything she said kept tugging in my heart. It pained me a lot to see her go through these things, but it also made me happy knowing that she's aware of what she felt for me even with her memories gone.

I unlocked her seatbelt, lifted and pulled her towards me, making her sit on my lap. I held her cheeks as I locked my eyes with hers and gently leaned in to kiss her.

First, on her forehead. Clearing her mind.

Then, on her eyes. Kissing her tears away.

And lastly, joined my lips with hers. To tell how much I love her.

It lasted for a while, but it was not enough to fully express what I truly feel.

As we both catch out breaths, I rested my forehead with hers,

"I will never leave you alone, baby. I love you."