2 The Proposal

I was just graduating from nursing school when my patient started dating me. Yes,you heard right,he said he fell in love with my hair, of all things,my hair! , don't get me wrong, I have nice hair but at that time,I had not relaxed it,I was just plaiting it with rubber threads. its not that I was not fashion conscious but I had a lot of insecurities back then. when I look back at my picture of those days,I realise that I was actually a beautiful,tall,light skinned beauty but I never saw it,because I had no one to tell me so. Come to think of it,I had never been in a relationship with the opposite sex and I had not developed a healthy self image of myself as someone that was attractive and could be desirous.

Fast forward to this time,the man who would later become my husband was my patient and somehow,we hit it off. I was not really very keen on anything back then,I just wanted a different life from the one I had experienced with the religious group. My experience with them had traumatised me so much,they were not what I thought they were,maybe I too was young and unprepared for what I was getting into been sixteen at the time I joined them,so perhaps I was expecting too much from them;after all , they were only been humans.

So my husband proposed to me then and I accepted. It was not the kind of proposal I watch on screen but it was honest and I accepted. Now to be fair to my husband,he never promised to be anything other than who he was and i think still is. He was and still is a very handsome man . I agreed to marry him then because I chose to and I loved him and back then,he was the only good thing to have happened to me.

It took me some time though before I accepted his proposal because all I wanted then was just to travel round the world,experience different foods and culture and spend my life helping people. I certainly would have not contemplated marriage if he had not showed up when he did,and despite this, it took some convincing on my path before I agreed to walk down the aisle with him. I mean, I saw the danger sign,which was his weakness for other women but like the foolish bride,I told myself that I would change him,I wish someone had told me it was a mission impossible, you can't change someone who is not willing to change. I accused God so much about this over so many years,that he did not want to answer my prayer,that my husband was not changing,until God told me one day,that he could only knock at the door of ones heart,its up to the one to open up and that besides,he never gave me the assignment to change my husband.That's when I gave up and decided to focus on me and heal me. Its been a very bumpy ride but I am stronger and wiser. Agreeing to marry my husband was easier,getting my parents to consent to the union was another hurdle to be crossed.