We're Not Who We Were

I think I want to go to High School."

Sensei stopped talking mid-sentence and looked down at him. His head was still bowed so he couldn't see his face but he could feel the sudden sour tinge to the atmosphere. Kurogiri had actually kept his promise, then? Izuku had expected that the bartender would have told Sensei at least but he seemed surprised.

He stood with his head down so low that his shoulders had actually started to hurt before Sensei finally said, "Please, Izuku, look at me."

Oh. Great. Izuku straightened up and tried his very best to hide the guilt plastered across his face. He had been dreading telling Sensei, even more than he had been dreading telling Shigaraki. Shigaraki might be furious at first but he had always been supportive of what Izuku wanted in the end. Sensei on the other hand? Izuku was afraid of what he might say or do because honestly? Sensei was the only person Izuku knew could talk him out of it.

"Give me your hand." Izuku blinked hard up at Sensei but his face was unreadable behind his mask. One of his hands were already upturned and Izuku obediently put his small hand in Sensei's larger one. The contact lasted only a moment before Sensei withdrew and folded his hands. "Now use your quirk."

"Uh?" Izuku looked around the lab. The last time he had used his quirk here he had ripped the room to shreds, doing more damage than Shigaraki usually did on his bad days. It had to be repaired the old fashion way too, since back then it was much harder for Izuku to fix things than it was to destroy and they couldn't afford for the lab to be down for several years. But if Sensei was ordering him to then it must be okay.

Izuku stepped away from Sensei and put a finger lightly on a pen resting casually on the table.

And nothing happened.

Izuku blinked and picked it up, trying to use his quirk again. Still nothing happened.

Why would . . ? No. No, no! Izuku's eyes widened and began to tear up as understanding came. He knew Sensei would be mad but to actually take away his quirk!? Izuku couldn't go back to being quirkless! He . . . he couldn't . . .

"There is something I have been wanting to do for a while now," Sensei said and Izuku dropped the pen as he clapped his hands over his mouth. His stomach felt like it was plummeting and he wanted the world to open up and swallow him whole.

"I-I, you, I," Izuku sputtered. He couldn't look at Sensei, he sank to his knees, covering his face with both hands.

"Izuku please, I am not unjust," Sensei said but Izuku couldn't move. He heard Sensei sigh and lean back in his seat over his own muffled sobs but he still couldn't bring himself to look up at Sensei's face. "I am dying."

Izuku's shoulders stiffened, and he peeked at Sensei's feet between his fingers.

"I've been dying since my fight will All Might. Slowly, but I am afraid there is an end in sight for me now. I doubt that I will see the world Shigaraki creates but I will not allow All for One to die with me. I need a successor. Do you understand, boy? There is so much more to you than some foolish meathead hero. It is my wish to begin to transfer All for One to you."

"M-me!?" Izuku sputtered as his head snapped up to look at Sensei's even gaze. He sat up fully and while his cheeks were still wet he had stopped crying. "Wha-But Sensei! Shigaraki is-"

"Shigaraki must use his quirk to show the world the horror of his existence, he could not make proper use of my quirk. It must go to the man who will live by Shigaraki's side, the one who will follow Shigaraki through hell if need be. Someone who loves him more than anything in this world."

Izuku was slackjawed. "And . . . m-me?"

"Did I not just describe you?"

"Yes, Sensei! Shigaraki is like my brother!" Sensei's fingers tightened a little and Izuku wondered if he had just crossed the line. "I would d-die for him."

"I would rather you live for him." Sensei seemed satisfied, though. "Do you understand, Izuku?"

"Well, y-yes but . . . why does that mean I can't go to high school? And why did you take my quirk?"

Sensei chuckled lightly. "I intend to move forward soon, and you are crucial to my plans. I would rather you not have any distractions. I have documentation stating you have been accepted as a sidekick if you're worried about your mother. And in a manner of speaking that's hardly a lie."

"Uh, b-but my quirk?"

"Do you want to become a Noumu?" Izuku glanced over his shoulder to the dark tanks around the walls. He had mixed feelings about them, about human experimentation in general. But he did know that he defiantly did NOT want to be one of those and he furiously shook his head. "Then you need to be quirkless when I give you part of All for One. It needs time to become a true part of you before I return your matter reformation."

Izuku blinked before he broke out into a wide smile. He quickly clambered to his feet as he wiped his eyes and nose furiously. "Thank you, Sensei!" He said before his sheepish look returned, "B-but I's still l-like to go to High School. Kurogiri says that an educated villain is a superior villain. N-not that I'm a-a vi-um. But I would be so much more useful w-with an education." And Kurogiri would stop complaining.

"Hmm." Sensei sat back and folded his fingers together thoughtfully. "Speak with Shigaraki on the matter. This could be a valuable learning experience for the both of you." Izuku lit up brighter than a christmas tree and Sensei held out a hand again. "I still want to begin the transfer of All for One, Izuku. You won't be give or take quirks, but you'll be able to hold more quirks and layer them. Do you believe you can handle that?"

In answer, Izuku closed his eyes and fingers brushed against his forehead.

And for the second time in his life, everything went white.

XXX

She was worried about her son again.

His behavior had become strange again after he got out of his week-long stint at the hospital. Not in a bad way, at least at first. Izuku was suddenly walking around with his shoulders back and head held high, like his heart was about to burst with pride. Even his stutter wasn't as noticeable when Katsuki wasn't around. She had asked him what was going on and he had simply said he thought his future looked bright. A strange thing for a teenager to say, to be sure, but more worryingly it was unusually evasive.

Still, she had told herself she would trust her son. He had been doing so well since he entered middle school and being self-confident was no reason to doubt him.

But then he had brought home the laptop.

It was brand new and top of the line. Izuku had tried to sneak it in without her noticing but when he left his bedroom door open she couldn't help but notice it sitting on his desk. She had told herself it was just from his school, someone had let him borrow it but when she asked him he said it was his. As in, his property. Inko didn't want to think he had stolen it but . . . she still had to ask.

Then he got defensive and that was even worse.

When she asked if he was getting involved in gang activity he took a little too long to reply and she had burst into tears. That crushed any irritability left in her son, and he had rushed to assure her that it had been a gift. A gift from an older friend. THAT was the last thing Inko wanted to hear. An older friend!? What did that even mean!? Why did Izuku have an older friend?

Izuku had stood uncomfortably by, trying to figure out what to say when everything added made it so much worse. In the end he just knelt beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and whispering promises that Inko wished she believed. He kept repeating some variation of 'I'm not doing anything and I'm not a criminal' for the better part of an hour before she finally choked out, "I wish I could still trust you."

He hadn't said anything after that. There wasn't anything he could say.

XXX

It was a rare occasion that Shigaraki decided to leave to do his own thing and actually brought Izuku along. Mostly because he rarely left to do something that wasn't criminal and Izuku could really dig in his heels if he wanted. But there were times when he was twitchy with cabin fever and he jumped when Izuku suggested they leave. Neither of them had very much spending money and neither had an inclination for stealing, but it was still fun to go around acting like they were going to shop. Looking at things and talking about whatever was going on in Izuku's life was oddly relaxing for both of them.

By the time noon swung around they ended up at a Mos Burger with a small mountain of food each. Not that Shigaraki ever actually ate what he ordered but Izuku usually managed to make a dent in both of their plates. It was a peaceful day, the skies were clear and the early autumn air was crisp but not so cold that either of them needed more than a hoodie. And for once they hadn't stumbled across any fights! Which was good because they had radically different opinions on them and it tended to make the topic of conversation tense.

But of course, as usual, trouble was drawn to Izuku in the form of Bakugou walking into the restaurant.

Izuku sat with his back to the door and Shigaraki very rarely could be bothered to pay attention to other people around him, but Bakugou recognized that stupid poof of green curls and he felt a sudden flicker of agitation. That son of a bitch was lying to Inko again! And she was a great lady! He ignored the hostess entirely and stalked to Deku's table, hands already smoldering and his lackys trotting after him.

"Oi! Deku!" He spat a moment before he clamped a hand down on Izuku's shoulder. He flinched and looked around, mouth still crammed full of cheeseburger and eyes wide. "What the hell? The fuck kind of study group is this!?" He gestured wildly to the person sitting across from Deku in the booth who he hadn't even bothered to look at. "Going on a fucking date, huh!?"

Izuku swallowed before he turned his whole body around in his seat and looked past Bakugou to the restaurant at large. "U-um, Kacchan, would you like to j-just sit down? People are looking . . ." The person across from Izuku went rigid but Bakugou just shoved Izuku further into the booth before he sat down next to him. He was radiating malcontent and when he waved his hands his lackys got the hint and made themselves scarce. "W-we just took a break i-is all. A-and you know this place was close by so-" He flinched as Bakugou's hand sparked.

"Whoa there buddy," The person across the table said and Bakugou jerked up his chin to glower at him. "What the fuck are you doing?" Bakugou glowered at the man, noticing for the first time just how damn creepy the guy was. His face was too thin, and his skin looked like it had been stretched too tightly across it. More unsettling was that he was attempting to smile. It looked like he was imitating Deku's most earnest grin but his sunken eyes were frigid and hostile. It made Bakugou's skin crawl and it occurred to him that someone like this had absolutely no business hanging out with Deku. His aggravation shifted abruptly from Deku to the grown ass man who shouldn't be anywhere within a ten mile radius of the little punk.

"Talking to my bitch ass neighbor, creep," Bakugou snarled, bristling like a hostile cat, "the fuck are you doing? What are you, forty? Why're you with Deku?"

"Kacchan!" Deku sounded floored.

"Mind your own business shithead, before I rip off your fucking face."

"Shigaraki!"

"Bring it!"

Before either of them had the chance to move Deku had lurched across the table and grabbed each of them by the wrist, keeping them from touching each other. Bakugou wrenched his fist back and his fingers sparked but Deku's grip was iron. Deku had grabbed him. DEKU had stopped HIM!? "What the fuck, Deku!?" He spat. He glowered at Izuku with fire in his eyes and Shigaraki raised his head slowly to stare at Izuku too.

Bakugou saw something pass between them, some look that he didn't understand before the silver haired man rolled his eyes and sighed irritably. His fingers were twitching like the legs of a crushed spider but the fight seemed to dissolve into a wave of disgruntled acceptance. What kind of relationship did Deku have with this guy!?

Izuku's green eyes were suddenly on him, though, as if he were the weird then with the situation. "P-people are watching! Y-you guys shouldn't-" He looked around wildly, and he radiated stress. Bakugou just stared at him in stunned silence. This was so utterly . . . out of character for the Deku he knew. "C-come on Shigaraki, w-we should get going,"Izuku hissed urgently. He dropped Bakugou's hand and slid out the other side of the booth, dragging his irritated looking older friend by the wrist.

"HEY!" Bakugou snarled and he made to lunge after them but Izuku was moving like a bat out of hell.

"HeysorryKacchan!" Izuku said in a single breath, "Seeyoutonight bye!"

And then they were gone, leaving most of their food uneaten. Bakugou stared after them for a second before he growled wordlessly and got out of the booth as well. He wasn't in the mood for eating anymore and he stalked out of the restaurant, just in time to see the tall man in the blue hoodie vanishing around a corner, presumably still being lead along by Izuku.

Shigaraki, that's what Izuku had called him. That was one of the friends that Izuku mentioned on occasion, and one of the people Bakugou had noticed Deku texting to and about. Since he wasn't in their school Bakugou had always sort of assumed that Deku was just delusional to some capacity, he had been talking about Tomura Shigaraki for years – since the start of elementary school. So that pond scum was why Deku had started acting so strangely? He had first started talking about him when he started skipping school, after all.

Kacchan narrowed his eyes and ground his teeth together. That guy was bad news, he knew it. And if Deku was going to be so blasé about it then it was up to him to figure it out.

XXX

Trailing Deku was harder than anticipated. He hadn't really put much thought into it, he had just slipped out of his apartment after Deku did, determined to follow Deku to his study group after what he had seen the week before. Especially after overhearing his mom and Inko talking about how worried Deku's mom was and she was basically Katsuki's aunt. If Deku was going to treat her like shit then it was up to him to make it up to her. And be more of a dick to Deku than usual during school but that was neither here nor there.

He had even attempted to use a disguise for the occasion, just so there was no chance of Deku realizing it was Katsuki on his tail. He had actually pulled up his pants for once and was wearing an unattractive plaid jacket with the hood pulled up over his distinct hair. He had found a pair of old, blocky sunglasses that hid most of his face and to really make himself unrecognizable he had gone ahead and put on some of the elaborate makeup his mom wore so at a glance people would assume he was just a punky girl (he would have worn a skirt too if his mom wouldn't be home by the time he got back). And damn, contouring was the biggest fucking hassle he'd ever had to endure. No wonder his mom yelled at him for taking too much time in the morning.

And damn, he made a fine girl. Fine enough that he almost missed Deku's stop because he was threatening to rip the cock off some guy who wouldn't stop flirting with him. When he hurled himself off the train his hood fell off but Deku wasn't looking at him and he was able to throw it up quickly before anyone took notice.

Katsuki was stunned to see they had gotten off at a creepy derelict part of town. Once he got away from the bus stop old warehouses rose up around him, and even shittier apartments than the one he lives in stretched just out just beyond them. Katsuki wrinkled his nose in disgust as he trailed along several warehouses after Deku. He . . . seemed way too comfortable here. Inko had said that she thought Deku was getting involved with shady people. What if she was right?

Deku. Deku the gangster.

Yeah, right.

But why else would he be hanging around here? This certainly looked like the place gangsters would hang around at. But what would they want a quirkless nobody for? And even if they DID want a quirkless nobody, Deku would never . . . he wanted to be a hero as much as Katsuki himself did.

He ducked around a building with chipped blue paint when Deku suddenly stopped and called out. Katsuki cursed himself for trailing so far behind, he couldn't hear a damn thing Deku was saying. But when he peaked around the corner he was furious to see that the creepy silver haired dude had walked up to Deku and they were talking away. Deku was smiling broadly, talking animatedly with his hands and the silver haired man just nodded along. It seemed the other had few words to add before he pointed to the warehouse they were in front of. Had he come out of there?

Katsuki narrowed his eyes as Deku nodded then walked on by, leaving the silver haired man behind. Shit, he couldn't get any closer without being seen by the creep. Katsuki sank to his knees so his exposed body was more hidden by a bright yellow pole – one of those cement ones that were supposed to keep cars from crashing into buildings. This did not look good. Whatever was going on it painted a pretty fucking bad picture and Katsuki didn't know what to do.

So he just watched. He watched as the silver haired creep paced for five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes before Deku finally came bouncing out of the warehouse with a look like he had just won the fucking lottery. He bounded over to silver hair, who actually looked at him . . . fondly? Ugh, what sort of relationship did he have with Deku!? Katsuki repressed the urge to spring out from hiding and blow him into the next decade. If the creep had been hanging around Deku since they were six something fucked up was going down.

"Yeah!" Deku said, loud enough that Katsuki could hear. He was holding something in his hand and showing it off proudly. "And I got a second one too! Here, look-" his voice faded out again as the pair huddled together for a second. Katsuki strained his years but couldn't hear a damn thing. A second what!? Why had Deku lowered his voice right there!? God damn piece of shit, Katsuki was going to shove his foot right up his ass as soon as it was situationally appropriate.

They chattered away for a few minutes before Deku pointed Katsuki's way and he flinched, wondering if he had been spotted. He shrank back as the pair started to walk in his direction but they passed right on by, heading back in the direction of the train station.

"-but you know, Kurogiri wouldn't be for it if it was pointless. And think of how much more useful I would be if I went to high school? I'd be able to-" Deku's voice faded along with the crunching of their feet on the gravel. Katsuki didn't follow this time. He remained crouched in the shadow of the warehouse for a while, until the pair had more than enough time to get to the train station and leave to wherever they went.

It was long enough that when Katsuki rose to his feet his legs were fuzzy with pins and needles. He flipped off his hood and pocketed his glasses, though he didn't bother with the makeup as he began to storm back himself. He . . . he had seen a lot. He didn't know how to process what he had seen. Something was up, something was seriously fucked up about the whole situation and Katsuki had no idea what to do.

XXX

"I'm home!" Izuku said as he slipped inside.

He was surprised to hear a sudden yelp and some scrabbling as his mom called out "oh, in here sweetie!" Izuku slid off his shoes and slipped into the living room where he was surprised to see his mom sitting with Kacchan in the living room. He was sitting rigid with his head turned, and was he . . . blushing?

Izuku got a peek at the table and was surprised to see some makeup wipes and a layout of his mom's makeup – mostly a small collection of nail polish and blush. She wasn't supposed to wear anything on her face at work so she didn't have much but Izuku was mostly surprised to see that it was out at all. "Izuku, how was your day?"

"Great, I got a lot done," Izuku said warmly and Kacchan's head turned sharply to fix him with a glower.

"Oh, I'm glad you're back! I was about to start dinner. Oh, Katsuki would you like to join us?"

"Thanks, but mom's home tonight so I'll be over there." Kacchan smiled at Izuku's mother and she nodded as she rose to her feet.

"Oh, well stay as long as you want, dear. And don't worry, you can come to me with anything you want!" She patted Kacchan's hand fondly and he blushed again. "Just give me one second, okay?" Kacchan nodded sharply as Izuku's mother stood and vanished into her room. A silence lulled between them for a moment as Izuku stared at the table, then looked at Kacchan.

"So . . . what's going on?"

"Shut the fuck up, Deku," he spat. Izuku flinched and raised a hand meekly but Kacchan was in full on glower. "I know you're up to something."

"Wh-what?"

"You're lying to Inko again."

"W-wait, no! I-I'm no-"

"Can it, shit head." There was a knowing look in Kacchan's eyes that made Izuku nervous. "Shigaraki, right? I don't know what you've got going on with him but you better fucking stop." Izuku flinched but an unexpected emotion curled in his stomach, fighting against the usual fear he felt around his childhood bully.

What did Kacchan know? What gave him the right to tell Izuku what to do? And something Shigaraki had said a long time ago swirled in his mind. Something he hadn't thought about in years.

"They had great quirks but they didn't do anything to earn them. They just have them and because of that they think they're better than you and me."

Kacchan didn't know anything about Izuku, and he didn't have the fucking right to judge him. He had everything already, and Izuku was tired of feeling like Kacchan was better than him because of that. He had Shigaraki, didn't he? He had been chosen to help Shigaraki save the world by Shigaraki himself. Sensei believed in him enough to entrust him with All for One. He was fighting for recognition and they had seen him, they had given him a power that they believed he had earned. And now Kacchan thought he had a right to tell him to turn his back on all that!?

Izuku did something that surprised even him then. He straightened his head and looked Bakugou dead in the eye. "There's nothing you can do to stop me."

Kacchan looked floored. His eyebrows vanished up into his hairline before they came back down and he glowered hatefully. Smoke twisted up from his fingertips and fury radiated off him in waves. "What the fuck did you just-" was as far as he got before Inko came out of her room with a small box in one hand. Kacchan jumped a little but looked up at her and smiled fondly.

"Here you are, Katsuki! Please let me know if it works out for you, okay?"

"Thanks," he said and when he stood up he actually gave her a hug. Izuku stared in utter bafflement, but a soon as Kacchan turned his back to Iuku's mother his hateful look returned full force.

'Watch yourself,' he mouthed as he brushed by Izuku, cradling the little box close to his chest as he slipped out of their small apartment.