11 Goblinsville #5

You probably think I lied, baiting your asses for six chapters before I showed Goblinsville.

The truth is, we couldn't find the fucking place. Not only did Lee read the map upside down, but an lv999 noob slayer also routed us. Luckily, an angel had jumped in, covering our asses.

Why just us? There were plenty of dead guys who would've simped way harder.

And the devs, too, to name someone else. I know I've been shitting on them, but they know their priorities. The game engine is probably 90% titty physics and 8% collision detection, and I'm not complaining.

Was the angel an NPC? Is she still alive?

I'll pay her back if I ever get the chance. Maybe I'll buy her figurines. She seemed like a poster girl or protagonist.

We were the ever-proliferating goons that should've been obliterated in a cutscene.

Goblinsville was close now. Small cave dwellings popped up here and there. Of course, the native goblins hastily shut their shutters when we walked by. There must be rumors going around about us.

"ਮੈਨੂੰ ਨਹੀਂ ਲਗਦਾ ਕਿ ਸਾਨੂੰ ਲੱਭ ਲਿਆ ਗਿਆ ਹੈ." Lee finally broke the silence.

"He's right. Security's too light, and we're lucky we haven't been found yet." Gordon snapped his fingers. With animosity permeating the stale breeze, we may have fucked things real good for the rest of the retarded villagers.

As we continued in the dark underworld, more signs of civilization appeared. Stone sconces illuminated the rugged terrain that gave way to dirt roads. Wheeled sleds left tracks. The sounds of life lay ahead.

Abruptly, we ran into a traffic jam. Ten or so clean and shaven retarded villagers had blocked the entire road. Though they were in our rags, theirs' were tailored. They were trying to shove a sizeable Greatwurm head through the tunnel and got it stuck firmly.

"What's going on here?" I asked.

"We lost three players trying to raid this motherfucker." An lv12 retarded villager spat, but not venomously.

"Raid?" the Squeaker squeaked.

"Yeah, we're the Clownslayers. #1 guild in Goblinsville, and we're currently at 150 members."

"Was! We lost like 12 people just the last day." Another clean villager jeered, earning the derisive laughter of others.

"*Sigh*.... why did the bossman decide to investigate Playerkill gorge?" The lv12 villager became defeated.

"Is.... is there a skill that gives wings? Is it possible to get iron armor?" I gingerly asked. Bossman?

"Sounds like someone met the bossman!" another villager slapped his knees, almost dying of laughter.

"In all seriousness, please don't call her the bossman. She'll kill you. IRL" The lv12 continued.

"Pftttt.. with what?" The Squeaker and I slapped our knees.

"Wait a minute, why are you wearing our shit?" The lv12 exclaimed. Their smiles cracked under suspicion, and our new friends became strangers again. Some readied burnished spears, sharper than ours.

"Oh fuck" Gordon murmured.