Chapter 17

I look up at Christopher and see tears in his eyes. As the first tear falls, I walk over to pull him into a hug. I let him get it out for a minute before I pull his head back from my shoulder.

"We can definitely go visit princess. I was planning on going soon to change out her flowers," I tell him as the tears fall from my eyes. Out of the four years we were married, I only ever seen this man cry once which was when his grandfather died. The two of them were extremely close and he considered him more of his dad than his actual father.

Christopher reaches up and catches the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs to wipe them away. "I will get the flowers on the way there. I have some making up to do to her." He leans forward and places his for head on mine with his hands still on my face.

A throat clearing gets our attention as we break apart enough to look at the door. Huxley is standing in the doorway, holding some clothes while smirking at Christopher and I. "I'm sorry for interrupting but I thought that Christopher would like some clothes to change into. I'm the closest one to his size so I brought pajamas as well as jeans and a shirt for tomorrow."

Christopher walks over and takes the clothes from Hux and sets them on the dresser. "Thank you, Huxley. I deeply appreciate it."

"I know how uncomfortable it is to sleep in a suit so I couldn't let you do the same if I had spare clothes you could use," Huxley says before turning my way. "Oh, and sis. Next time be sure to turn off the recording before you decide to get hot and heavy with Christopher again."

My cheeks immediately heat up with embarrassment due to my mess up. I had totally forgot to turn it off after we finished the discussion about the business. "Oh no, did mom and dad see it?" I ask as I cover my face with my hands. Both men laugh at my expense.

"No. I went back to look for my keys because I couldn't remember where they were after we got back and saw the light still on. But don't worry, I erased the part where you were close to having sex in the office," Hux says before he runs out. The item thrown at him this time is a decorative pillow that was in my reach.

Christopher laughs at my brother and I as he grabs the pajamas from the stack of clothes Hux brought for him. "I can definitely tell you're siblings." I just chuckle in response before heading towards the door. "Natalia."

"Yes Christopher," I reply as I look back at him. He is right behind me and pulls me in for a kiss that he breaks off before it could go further. "Good night, beautiful. I love you and let me know if you need me for anything."

My word's escape me so I just nod before I make my way to my room. As soon as my door shuts, I slide down it to the floor. Did all of that really just happen. My fingers touch my lips as I recall the kiss we shared in the office. The touch of his lips and his taste was enough to drive my hormones wild with need. What we share is more than just sexual desire. We became best friends that we could each lean on. We always knew what the other needed or was feeling most of the time because we just clicked. He was my oxygen like I was his until that fateful night.

Deciding that I needed to get to bed before I go back to the guest room to jump his bones, I go take a cold shower to fix my predicament.

When I leave my bathroom, I make sure the door is unlocked because Tucker comes in sometimes when he has a nightmare.

Climbing into bed, I go to sleep until I am woken up by my bed moving a few hours later. Tuckers little voice shushes someone and I hear Christopher whisper back to him.

"We have to be quiet daddy or momma will wake up," Tucks little voice whispers.

"Ok, but are you sure she won't be mad?" Christopher whispers back.

"I sneak in here all the time and get in bed with her. She won't mind," Tuck whispers back before I feel him snuggle up to my back. My little boy is so cute that I can't help but not be mad right now.

"If you say so. I just don't want mommy mad at me," Christopher says before I feel his hand on my waist.

"She won't be now that you are here. I could tell that she missed you when I would ask about you," Tuck says to Christopher.

"How could you tell?" Christopher asks as I feel him get comfortable.

"Because she would always look sad when she spoke about you. She tried to hide it but I could always tell," Tucker whispers. "Now we need to go to bed before we accidentally wake her up. She's cranky if she gets woken up and not have her morning coffee."

The room gets quiet which tells me that they are going to sleep. My mind replays Tucks words and I don't know how to take it. I thought I was doing a great job of hiding it from him but I guess not. This boy is so smart for his age. My mind slows down and I fall back asleep to the sounds of their breathing beside me.

The morning sun shines through the window, waking me up. Remembering that I had visitors last night, I turn my head to the other side of the bed. It's empty but the covers are pushed back meaning that they were in fact here and I didn't dream it. Stretching out my body, I sit up at the same time my door opens. Christopher and Tucker walk in carrying a tray of what looks to be French toast with a steaming cup beside it. They both are already dressed for the day with Tucker matching his dads outfit. Tuck looks at the bed and sees me awake before he smiles at me.

"Good morning momma. Me and daddy made you breakfast in bed," he says as he climbs up beside me.

I smile at him and kiss the top of his head as Christopher sets the tray on my lap. The feeling of a kiss on the top of my head like I did to Tuck has me turning to see a smiling Christopher. This has always been a dream of having both of my boys together with me and now that it's happening, I feel like I could explode.

"Thank you, guys. It looks yummy," I say as I start to eat. "Have you both ate yet?"

"We ate downstairs before we brought you food. I wanted to let you sleep in a while because of all of the excitement yesterday," Christopher tells me as he sits on the bed by my feet. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tuck looking at my plate. Taking one more bite, I push the over to him for him to eat the rest. I take my coffee and start to sip on the liquid gold that smells like heaven.

"Tucker woke me up and wanted to make you breakfast. He wanted to make pancakes at first until your mom said that you might want French Toast instead," Christopher says as I take a sip of my coffee.

"That's understandable," I chuckle. "When he helps makes pancakes it looks like the batter exploded. I walked in from a trip one morning to find them both covered in it and Shannon only left them alone for five minutes to go get something."

Christopher chuckles at the image that I painted of my mother and Tuck covered in pancake batter. Taking out my phone, I find the picture I got from the security camera footage and showed him. He laughed at the view of Tucker sitting on the counter with a victorious smile on his face while my mom looks like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Why is that almost the exact image I had in my head?" Christopher asks as he laughs harder. His laugh is contagious and I can't help but join in on it.

Tucker moves the tray off of his lap and gets down from the bed as he pulls it with him. Not waiting on us to ask if he needed help, he walks out of the room. Outside the door, we hear him talking to someone and then come back in.

"What did you do with the breakfast tray?" I ask him, hoping he didn't just place it on the floor.

"Uncle Grayson was walking this way and offered to take it for me," he replies as he gets back up on the bed. Climbing onto Christopher's lap, he gets comfortable before he turns to look at me. "Are you going to see sissy today?"

"Yes we are. Daddy wants to meet her," I tell him with a nod. Tucker sometimes comes with me to visit her but otherwise stays with either my parents or one of my brothers. I offer for him to come with me the other times but he tells me that his sister needs some time with just me since he gets me all of the time.

"Tell her that I said hi and I will come next time to see her," he says as he hops down.

"You're not coming with us?" Christopher asks him. I can tell that this shocked him since Tucker has basically been attached to him since last night.

"No sir. Sissy needs to have this special moment to meet our daddy since I did last night," Tucker says before he heads towards the door. "I'm going to go annoy Uncle Grayson until you get back."

Christopher just stares at the door after Tucker leaves. I can tell he wasn't expecting that from our four year old. "Does he always speak like a grown up?"

I pull back the covers to get up. "Yes. Pretty much all of the time now a days. He is a very smart kid." Going to the bathroom after grabbing clothes for me to wear today, I go to the bathroom and change. When I walk out, I see Christopher at my desk looking at the photo album that I keep on it. His face is a mix between sadness and love.

"I have missed so much already," he says in a broken tone. "All because I was an idiot who let others get to me."

Walking over to him, I place my hand on his cheek. "Maybe, but here is what makes this better. You now have the rest of our lives to make new memories. We can only go up from here."

Blue eyes meet mine that hold me in place. It is like I am rooted to my spot and I don't ever want to move. Christopher leans in and places his lips on mine in a gentle kiss that lingers. When he pulls back, I can faintly hear his rugged breath as it is evident that he is holding himself back.

"Let's get going. We don't want to get caught in traffic," I tell him. Christopher nods and follows me out of the room and downstairs. Grabbing my truck keys, we tell everyone we will be back later and head out to the graveyard. Christopher reaches over and grabs my free hand that isn't on the wheel to lace his fingers through mine.

Along the way, we stop to get flowers for Alaina at a little stand on the side of the road. I know the woman who owns the stand since this is where I always stop to get the flowers I bring to the graveyard. Christopher picked purple hyacinths which is said to represent constancy, regret, and sincerity. The whole drive was spent in mostly silence. As I turn into the gate, Christopher's grip tightens slightly as this becomes a reality.

Reaching the spot, I put the truck in park and get out. Walking around the truck, I see Christopher taking a minute to get out so I open his door. "Come on, it will be okay. Someone is waiting to meet you."

Christopher looks at me with misty eyes before he nods and gets out with the flowers in his hand. Taking my hand, we make our way over to the little headstone that has an angel sculpture on the top. When we reach our daughters resting place, I remove the old flowers before Christopher places the new ones is.

"Hey sweet girl. I am sorry that I haven't gotten to visit in a while. I hope that you are having a great day full of love and playing where you are. Today I brought someone who really wants to meet you. Your daddy is here with me and he wanted to come visit you," I say to the headstone. I know that some people think I might be crazy for just talking to a block of stone but I feel like she can hear me.

Christopher kneels down in front her resting place with tears in his eyes. "Hey, baby girl. I am so sorry about not being there for you. The fact that I am the one responsible for you leaving mommy and I so soon hurts my heart. I really hope that you can forgive me," he says in a broken voice. "I am so sorry, sweetheart. I love you so much and I promise that I will make everything right."

His shoulders hunch over and I can see them moving as he cries. I kneel down next to him and pull him to me. Sobs shake his body as he mourns for our little girl and I can't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. After a few minutes, his sobs slow down before he looks up at me. My heart hurts at the sight of his red eyes and distraught face.

"I should have been there. When you three needed me most, I was letting others run my life for me. I am so sorry, Natalia. I am so sorry," He says as he closes his eyes.

I grab his face in my hands and make him look at me. "Look at me, Christopher." He opens his eyes as more tears fall. "You were given false information from someone who was being selfish. What matters is that you are here now."

Christopher nods his head as he looks at me with sad eyes. He leans in and places his lips on mine in a quick kiss before he places his forehead on mine. We sit like this for a while before we decide it was time to leave.

Before we walk to back to the truck, Christopher leans down to place a kiss on top of the stone. "I promise that I will come visit you and bring you all of the pretty flowers I can find. I love you with all of my heart, princess."

The ride back is the same as the way there, quiet as he holds my hand. I honestly can say that I think this helped us both. Throughout the whole ride, I glance over at Christopher to make sure he was okay. His eyes are still slightly red but is now barely noticeable. He is staring at our joined hands the whole way, stuck in his head. I wish I knew what was going on in his head right now.

Pulling into the driveway, he finally looks out the windshield. We see my parents, Grayson, and Tucker all waiting for us on the porch. Parking the truck, our eyes meet before he holds up a finger to tell me to wait. Staying in my seat, he gets out and comes to open my door for me.

"Awe, daddy opened the door for mommy," we hear Tucker say in the distance. We both share a smile at the sound of his little voice before we make our way to where they are standing. Tucker runs to Christopher as he catches him. My parents look on with smiles as Grayson looks like he is happy but also cautious of Christopher.

"How was the trip?" mom asks as she gives me a hug.

"It was good. We took her some new flowers and Christopher chose to take her purple hyacinths," I tell her as I look over at him.

Mom sucks in a breath since she knows what those flowers signify and hugs Christopher as well. "I am sure that she loves them. Now, let's go eat lunch. Shannon has made a special lunch for our guest."

We all walk inside and sit at the table. Tucker is sitting beside Christopher who he forced to sit in the middle of us. While Tucker eats his food in between talking about what he did to Grayson today, which had us all laughing while Grayson pouted in his seat, Christopher has my hand firmly in his as if he thinks this is all a dream.

When we are almost done, dad looks over at Christopher with a serious expression. Here we go. "So, I believe we all need to talk in the office after we are done. Just you, me, and Natalia."