1 My “normal” life

Where, when and why

Three simple words asking three different questions.

They've been used an uncountable number of times but never more here than anywhere than anywhere else.

"Ah~, now I remember. Well shit. Can't say I didn't deserve it though."

"What a weird reaction."

"Hm?"

"Normally people freak out but I guess it's not totally uncommon."

"So are you supposed be some great deity or something?"

"Well technically yes but it's really only me."

"Well whatever, do you mind if I take a quick nap?"

"Well I guess so, it would be nice to spend a bit of time with someone even if for just a short while."

"Well I'll get comfortable here and you can wake me up whenever."

"mm~"

...

Three days prior:

Most people would say I live a "normal" life. I have a "normal" family and we live in a "normal" house. I often "like" to "play" with my two "normal" siblings the "most" out of anything else. People often comment on how "well" us three get along.

That is from a "normal" persons perspective though. It's all a facade intricately made by my parents, if you could even call them that.

I am what you would call a bastard. My father got drunk in college and did the deed with one of his classmates. It wasn't till it was too late that they found out. My father wanted to get me aborted but my real mother was too nice to do so. She died just a month after giving birth to me after a car swerved off the road and hit her.

I heard that my mothers grandparents sued the driver into the ground. After they finished with all the legal stuff they wanted to take me and raise me in my mothers stead.

Somehow I ended up with the man I hate most. I don't know if it was out of guilt or something but he decided to raise me. That decision would be the start of my... well I guess compared to others if wouldn't really be called hell, so let's just call it my enormous inconvenience. Three years after my mother passed my "father" met someone and about a year later they were married.

My "fathers" wife or "ma'am" as I was instructed to call her, never liked me. As soon as she laid eyes on me she hated me. I don't entirely know why but I somehow was just agitating to her.

It's not like I bothered her much but still she didn't like me. I it's not like I wanted her to like me it's just I didn't want her to hate me. So I worked, I worked on trying my best to improve her opinion on me.

...

Years later and my "father" and "mother" had two children, twins to be exact. Most attention went to them and I was neglected quite often. It wasn't exactly a new occurrence but it was more than usual.

Five years later and their favorite activity was to cause me harm in one way or another. It was actually a bit comical as it reminded me of the novels I would read online.

'So what shall our activity be for today?'

'Sleeping.'

'But we do that all the time~. How about-'

'No. We are not going to be drowning them, stabbing them or pushing them into traffic.'

'Aw~, you're no fun~! We always doing what you want but we never do what I want!'

'That's cause last time I left you in control you almost got them killed.'

'Why do you care do much~! It's not like you care if they die~.'

'No, no I don't but I won't be able to do the things I enjoy if I go to prison.'

'Fine~, but I I want to come out at least once this week.'

'Ugh, fine but you better not cause me trouble got that?'

'Whatever mom~'

...

The rest of the day went as usual with the twins harassing me while my "father" was off at work. Of course I tried to tell him what the twins did but he was so infatuated with my "mother" that he couldn't believe her children could do anything wrong. Honestly it was kinda gross and I'm pretty sure my "mother" was cheating on my "father".

As the sun set I laid me head on my three year old pillow that was now as hard as a rock. After eating another dinner of ramen I was bored and sleeping was one of my favorite activities so to the land of dreams I went.

...

Suddenly I was awoken by a loud crash. I could tell it came from downstairs and so I made my way to the stairwell. I slowly crept don the stairs and onto the hard wooden floor. The first thing I spotted were two purple, almost gem like eyes. I slid my hand against the wall to the light switch. When my hand finally found plastic I flicked the lights on to reveal a person.

She was at least six feet tall with a very curvy body. She was dressed in all black and looked like the ninjas you'd see in some movie.

"Are we being robbed?" I asked

I almost hit myself for that one.

"Pff ahahahahahaha" her laugh sounded heavenly with a voice that sounded like chocolate tasted.

"Haa~, no girl unfortunately I am here to kill you and your family. It's such a shame I have to kill such a cutie but I guess I could at least get a taste before it's time for you to leave."

Didn't I already tell you I was a girl? No? Well guess I thought it was bothersome at the time, whatever~.

Anyway when I heard her say cute I felt a thump in my chest and my face start to heat up.

"Huh?"

Suddenly she was upon me. By the time I registered what was going on she already had her arms around me and her lips on mine.

I felt what must have been her tongue make it's way into my mouth. She explored every nook and cranny there was before letting go.

"What was you name?" She asked

"E-Emily."

"Ah! I remember reading your file. Emily Watson, age: 15 turning sixteen in ten days, has a split personality and the bastard child of mike Watson."

"Hm~? You know so much about us, huh? Well personally I can overlook that for such a wonderful kiss but we're not to keen on that being killed part~."

"And here she is! The one and only! The almost murderer!"

"What a weird way to put it but I guess your not entirely wrong."

"Unfortunately there can't be any survivors otherwise I might have taken you home."

"Ah I see, well I guess I can only struggle."

*BANG*

The cold sound of a gun being fired could be heard as the woman and I fell to the side.

"What an awful man~. To even shoot in the general direction of his daughter, you must not have been raised quite well~."

"Who gives a damn! She has never done anything but drag me down! If only that bitch just got the damn abortion than I wouldn't have to had dealt with that useless thing!"

"Oh~? truly you are a cruel man~. I wonder if you would do the same if it had been your other children."

"Of course not! They are my beautiful angels that have a bright future ahead of them!"

"So you're raising them so you can mooch off of them once you grow old?"

"I'd never do such a thing!"

"Are you sure about that? You owe so much money that even if the next 20 generations work until their bodies give way, they won't even come close to paying for a fourth of your debt. That's why my clients have decided to just get rid of you before you any more damage can be dealt."

"So assassins really do exist?"

"Yes, yes they do but for right now I need to deal with the bad man."

"Fine~"

While she goes off and does her thing I grab a knife from a drawer as quietly as possible so as not to draw her attention. Once all noise stops I ready myself, hiding the knife as best I could.

"Now that the bad man is all taken care off how about we finish our business."

I leap out from behind the the table she had flipped in order to give us cover and brought my lips to hers so as to distract her. It seems to work and I quickly stab forward as fast as possible. Suddenly I feel my hand stop and I look down to see the knife stuck between two of her fingers.

"Well damn, it seems it's the end for us huh?"

The knife is wrenched from my hand and thrown into the far wall.

"It was fun while it lasted but that guy made quite a bit of noise and I'm sure the cops will be here in just a couple minutes."

"He always was a noisy person."

"I can tell."

"Can you listen to this old ladies last request?"

"You ain't that old yet."

"I don't know what you mean, now pay some respect to your elders!"

"Fine~"

"Just stay with me for a while. I don't really feel like dying alone, you know? Oh wait, it seems this granny has another request~."

"Haa~, fine~."

"Will you marry me?"

"It seems the granny has quite a bit of energy."

"What do you mean granny? I'm still young and youthful!"

"Whatever you say granny now stay here while I go get the other ones while you take a rest here."

It didn't take long for her to rush up the stairs and come back down with a bloody knife. She then sat down on her knees and gave them a pat.

"You still haven't answered my question yet."

"Calm down I just needed a little time to consider."

"And?"

"I... accept!"

"Ah~, now I can die a happy woman. Not only have lost my first and seco- mm!?"

"And third" she says.

"And third kiss all in one night but I also got married! Not only that, I get to die in my wife's embrace."

I only give a small smile as I feel the cold metal sink into my chest.

Note: honestly this has to be the weirdest chapter I have written yet and I kinda want to cry.

Also there won't really be a transition between her personalities but you could pretty easily tell by the change in the way they act and speak.