| mango and pineapple

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.

- Thomas Merton

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- M A T T H E W -

"Remind me why you're not dating?" Nonna interrogated, sitting beside me on my bed. "You love her, she loves you—am I missing something here?"

I exhaled sharply, kicking my shoes off my feet and ruffling my hair. "It's not that simple, nonna. She wants to be friends." I released a short laugh, leaning against my headboard. "All I can do is respect that."

Her hand rested on top of mine, her other one pressing against my cheek. "Bambino, I'm proud of your virtues, but I've seen the way you are with Lila, you're happier with her."

"I am," I leaned into her hand, frowning. "But after the accident, everything changed, and I was stupid enough to believe that she cheated on me. I'm not even sure if she's forgiven me or not."

"Trust me, if a girl was angry with you, she wouldn't want to be anywhere near you." She leaned back, sighing. "I have half a mind to smack the sense back into you Matthew. Go get her back."

Reaching for my white cane, I hesitated before swallowing harshly and mustering up a false sense of confidence. "Yeah—I love her, and she loves me."

"Yes." Nonna exclaimed, patting me on my back. "Yes she does."

I fumbled with my laces, bounding upwards with a skip in my step. But, I faltered at the door. "Um, nonna?" A sheepish expression climbed onto my face. "How am I meant to get there?"

Hearing shuffling, I felt her beside me as she clapped down a hand on my shoulder. "I will be the carriage so you can get your Cinderella."

I couldn't help but laugh, bringing my grandma into a tight hug. Even it sounded highly cliché, I wanted to think that I was Lila's Prince Charming, despite the fact that our relationship was far from a fairytale. Fairytales had happy endings—at least the Disney ones did—and I wasn't sure if I would have a happy ending.

But, once I rapped my knuckles against her door, I put my mask and tried to appear as if I wasn't breaking inside. Being friends with someone I was irrevocably in love with was much harder than I anticipated, and it broke me inside knowing I couldn't hold her in my arms.

"Matthew!" she exclaimed excitedly, painting a genuine grin on my face.

God, I'm so in love with you.

"From your tone, I'm going to guess that you've missed me." I inhibited the sigh that wanted to emerge as she brought me into a hug. A highly platonic hug.

"I haven't seen you for three days, were you sick?"

Her hands caressed my cheeks and I was unable to stop myself from leaning into her touch, frowning lightly. "My mom didn't want me to strain my stitches again."

Feeling her forehead touch mine, I felt my heart beat faster, her close proximity causing me to feel her eyelashes flutter against my nose. It took everything in me to not kiss her, my eyes closing of the own accord as I stepped back from her embrace.

"So, did you miss me?"

She closed the door behind me, purposefully stepping harsher than usual so I could follow her sounds. Upon reaching her room, she closed the door before leading me to the bed, plopping down with a sigh.

"Would it make you happy if I said I did?"

I shrugged slowly, opting to slide my glasses back to the bridge of my nose. My eyes gave it all away, and I couldn't let her know how I felt. "Maybe, because then I'd know I still have an effect on you."

"Yes," she spoke gently, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I did miss you."

I missed you more.

I rested my head on hers, pushing my tongue against the inside curve of my mouth. "So, I'm going to talk, and I just want you to listen. Don't do anything. Can you do that for me?"

From the movement of her head, I guessed she nodded, and retrieved my sense of courage. "I'll listen."

"I know you want to be just friends," I began, wetting my bottom lip. "But, being friends is a whole lot more complicated than being together, because we're both denying our feelings for each other. We're overcomplicating everything because you want me to know that I'll be okay without you. Honestly, I wouldn't be okay without you, and you wouldn't be okay without me."

I reached for her hand, and held it securely, rubbing my thumb against the back. "I wouldn't be okay without you because you're all I think about, and having you on my mind all the time whilst knowing I can't kiss you whenever I want makes me not okay." I ducked my head gently, and pressed a soft kiss under her earlobe, exhaling deeply. "For as long as I'm in love with you, I'm going to need you."

Her breath fanned my face when she leaned into me, her lips a hair's breadth away from mine. Cupping her jaw, I kissed her squarely on the mouth before pulling away softly. "Tell me you need me too."

Before she could respond, the door opened, a voice I recognised as Helena's sounding through the air. "Isaac's downstairs, do—." She suddenly stopped, causing Lila retreating from my hold.

"Tell Isaac that now isn't a good time, okay?"

I heard Helena's feet shuffle against the carpet, her nails scratching against the door knob. "He looks kinda upset, though."

Lila huffed tiredly. "And I'm kinda busy."

Shaking my head, I lifted her head by her chin and pressed a hard kiss to her lips. "It's fine, I'm just going to go."

Her hand gripped onto mine, and she tugged me back onto the bed. "I want you to stay," she muttered quietly, surprising me with a kiss on my nose. "Just let me talk to Isaac."

There was a brief silence, and I really thought about it. Isaac was an unnecessary problem and I hated being jealous of him. I hated thinking that he could've had everything I ever wanted.

"Let me speak to him, a conversation with him is long overdue."

The shock in her voice was evident as she gasped lightly. "Y-you want to talk to Isaac? Are you sure?"

I nodded silently, picking up my new white cane. The one I had had for a long time had been absolutely crushed when I got run over. I couldn't say that I didn't blame Isaac for all for this because that would be a lie.

He was the reason all of this happened.

Despite the fact that it was Greg driving the car, I would have never walked away from Lila, and got hit, if it wasn't for Isaac. I wouldn't have felt that I had lost the person I loved. I wouldn't have lost two weeks of my life, lying in a hospital bed because a machine was keeping me alive.

Taking steps down the stairs, I was greeted with Isaac's swift, sharp intake of breath. At the base of the stairs, I leaned against the bannister, removing my glasses and shoving them into my pocket.

"Hello, Isaac."

He released a shaky breath, his shoes squeaking against the floor. "What are you doing here, Matthew?"

Rolling my bottom lip into my mouth, I sighed tiredly. "We're friends. Lila and me, we've decided to be friends...for now."

"For now?" he echoed, slight anger in his voice. "She wants to be friends with you after you treated her like she didn't matter? After you kissed Gloria on her birthday, and acted like a dick about it?"

"Truthful apologies go a long way, Isaac." My tone was curt, and icy expression painted on my face.

He scoffed. "Was that an attempt to be shady? I meant every apology I said to you." He exhaled deeply and laughed a brief, humourless laugh. "I know I'm not perfect, and what I did to you was wrong, but I'm done caring about what you think about me. You're not the same person anymore, Matt; you're not the same person I grew up with."

"What's that meant to mean?"

He huffed and I heard him approach me. "The Matthew I knew never acted like me. You became just as bad as me when you broke Lila's heart because you were too stupid to actually listen to what she tried to tell you. She didn't kiss me; I didn't kiss her, at least not intentionally. It was an accident, and you didn't want to believe that."

Isaac stood in front of me, taking my silence as a cue to continue. "You wanted to believe that she was exactly like Vanessa, so you could hate and blame it on me. You wanted to have a reason to hate me."

"I do have a reason to hate you." I retorted angrily, gripping my cane tighter. "You were always the better option, and you used that against me."

"You were the better option for Lila. I knew you deserved her because you could love her better than I could. But you lost my support when you hurt her."

"When did I have your support?" I questioned curiously. "From the beginning, you had feelings for her, and you let yourself believe that you were letting her go before you kissed her. If I had your support, why did you tell me you kissed her?"

"I was being honest with you!" he exclaimed irately. "I wasn't going to keep it a secret like I did with Vanessa because I didn't want you to think like I was purposely taking your girlfriend."

"What was it that you said to me?" I thought back to that conversation, furrowing my eyebrows. "That we were even because you took Vanessa, and I took Lila. You did take my girlfriend from me; you took Vanessa, and you took Lila."

"When?" he countered. "When did Lila ever choose me over you?"

"When she was with you at the party." I frowned, the anger subsiding from my tone, and being replaced with an insecure undertone. "I mean, I was her boyfriend. Why was she with you for the whole night, when I was right across the room?"

I heard footsteps from behind me, Lila's hand touching my shoulder. "That wasn't me choosing him over you."

"Yes it was," I responded quickly, my voice lowering into a murmur. "It's like if I spent the whole night with Gloria, that would be me choosing her over you. That would be me wanting to spend time with another girl other than my girlfriend. This is no different."

They were both silent, Lila's hand sliding from my shoulder. "The night Lila chose you, Isaac, was the night I nearly lost my life."

"So you're blaming me for the accident?" he slowly spoke. "I wasn't the one driving the car. You can't blame it on me."

"You were the person driving a wedge in between Lila and me, Isaac."

"Did you know that I was person that gave you blood?" he asked, sounding defeated. "You can't blame me for that night because believe it or not, I'm the reason you're still alive. You would've died without my blood."

My jaw fell loose, my eyes widening at his words. "Y-you gave me the blood?"

"Yes, I did." He swallowed audibly and exhaled tiredly. "I didn't have to think about any of it. I made the choice in a split second because I owed you at least that. I made a mistake with both Vanessa and Lila, and that was my truthful apology."

Without thinking anything of it, I pushed myself off the bannister and brought Isaac into a hug I could manage with my arm. He was taken by surprise, gasping quietly.

After a couple of moments, I pulled back. I had to be grateful. Whether I liked Isaac or not, his blood was the reason I could 'see' my family again. "Thank you."

"I would do it again in a heartbeat." I heard him step away from me. "I'm going to leave you two to it. Goodbye, Lila."

Before anyone could say anything further, I heard the door close, a sigh falling from Lila's lips. "I'm proud of both of you."

Turning back to her, I gave her a stiff smile. "Yeah?"

It was my turn to be surprised when she placed a sentimental kiss to my lips, wrapping her arms around my neck. I didn't refuse in any way, and felt my back press into the bannister.

"You know," I breathlessly murmured against her lips, opting to scatter hot kisses down her jaw. "I certainly don't feel like a friend right now.

She brought my lips back to hers, her forehead resting on mine. "Shut up and kiss me, Matthew."

Holding her cheek, I laughed, tugging on her bottom lip with my teeth. "With—"

"Um," Helena's voice interrupted, a clear of her throat reaching my ears. "I'm just going to remind you that I'm still in the house, and Dad is in the driveway."

A blush warmed my cheeks as I tried to catch my breath whilst taking my hand from her waist. "I should probably go, then. My ride's still waiting for me."

"Have fun with your grandma, Matthew." She teased, eliciting a laugh from all of us.

I was definitely not in the friend zone.