18 | apricot and ginger

Sometimes, the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr

________________________

- L I L A -

It was hours after lunch, after school when I was stood at my front door, keys in hand as Matthew stood behind him, his lips pressed against my shoulder. A hand rested on my waist and I smiled as I felt his lips part in a grin against me.

Silence surrounded us as Matthew held me close to him, his hot breath fanning my neck. But, a clear of a throat interrupted us, my dad standing in between the threshold of the now opened door.

"Hi, Matthew." He grinned, his smile faltering when he noticed our position. "Am I interrupting something?"

Matthew let go of me, putting some distance between us. "Not at all." He smiled softly, unfolding his dark glasses and putting them on. I linked our fingers together and slipped us past my dad's tall frame.

"We're going to go up to my room, Dad."

He caught my eye and stared at me with raised eyebrows. "With the door open, please." He revealed his protective side show as he shut the front door with the heel of his foot.

Matthew chuckled and turned his head in my dad's direction. "I'd never try anything inappropriate, sir."

"And that's why I like you." My dad grinned, clapping him on the back before proceeding to walk towards the kitchen.

Upon entering my room, Matthew sighed and linked a strong arm around my waist, tugging me closer to him. Without a word, he rested his cane on the cupboard adjacent to him and placed a gentle hand on my cheek.

He pulled me in for a soft kiss, his lips gently caressing mine. He slowly moved his mouth to my forehead, tenderly laying a kiss on it. "You mean so much to me, Lila," he breathed into my hair, wrapping me in a warm embrace. "When you said you needed to talk, I thought you were going to break up with me."

I tilted my head upwards and pressed my lips to his for a short while. He smiled in the midst of the kiss, pecking my lips multiple times. I laughed and tugged on his hand, falling onto the bed.

He leaned himself against the headboard of my bed, respectfully slipping his shoes off before he spread his legs out. Motioning for me to come sit on his lap, he nuzzled his nose into my shoulder, intertwining our hands.

"I want to try and look at you." He whispered, rubbing the back of my hand with the pad of his thumbs.

"What?" I questioned, shifting slightly to accommodate myself better.

He gripped my waist, clenching his jaw and giving me a small smile. "Just don't move," he laughed, slipping his glasses off. A thin sheet of red powdered his cheeks, his grey eyes seeming happier.

"If I'm really close, I can see the shape of things. It's really blurry and isn't clear at all, but I want to see your face and help the image in my mind."

"And what's the image in your mind." I poked, unlocking our hands and resting my arms on his shoulders whilst threading my fingers into the hair at the back of his head.

"Beautiful." He answered, wrapping his arms around my body. "So unbelievably beautiful that I feel so lucky to be able to call you mine."

My heart pounded in my chest at his words, taking his silence as a cue to move closer to him. I felt his hot breath fanning my face, and because of how close I was to him, I couldn't control the rapid beating of my heart.

Silently raising his hands, he started at the curve of my chin, his eyes closely following where his hands were. In gentle caresses, he traced the shape of my lips, grinning lazily as he delivered a brief kiss to my mouth. The pad of his thumb followed the gentle slope of my nose, moving onto the hair of my eyebrows.

He slowly threw his head back, a sigh falling from his lips as he closed his eyes, probably imagining me. "God, you're so beautiful."

I watched him closely, my fingers feeling tingly at the sight of him. A dreamy smile adorned my face as I stared down at him.

Although I knew I wasn't in love with him yet, I could tell that I was beginning to fall head over heels for him.

_____

"Lila." A harsh whisper sounded, waking me up. "Lila, a guy is downstairs for you."

Opening my eyes fully, I quickly glanced at Matthew's sleeping form and glared at Helena. "What do you mean? What guy?"

She shrugged, keeping her voice low. "A really good looking one," she giggled, grinning. "Blonde hair and really blue eyes."

Isaac.

I wanted to know what he wanted, but if I was being honest, I'd much rather fall back asleep in Matthew's arms.

"He said he needed to talk to you."

I sighed, and swiftly climbed over Matthew's body, pulling the covers over him. Helena grinned at me, holding her hands up in a form of a heart. "You two are so cute."

Walking down the stairs, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Isaac stood outside, his hands wedged into his pockets. I gave him a smile, slipping some slippers on before I closed the front door behind me.

"Isaac." I smiled, rubbing my hands together to warm them up.

"By the smile on your face, I'm guessing Matthew is upstairs?"

I released a laugh and nodded happily, rocking on the balls of my feet. "Um, yeah. He's upstairs."

"Oh," Isaac responded, laughing awkwardly. "Does he know you're talking to me?"

"He's asleep," I answered, wanting to quickly dismiss the awkwardness. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"One of the jocks are throwing a party on Friday - Matthew probably already knows about it - but I just wanted to know if you're going. It's going to be my first party in a while and I really want you there."

"Why do I get the vibe that you aren't exactly eager to go this party?"

He bit his lip. "Well, Jack's house is the last place Alex went before she died. It was his little sister's birthday party." He acknowledged my expression and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just want to have fun on Friday, I'll feel much better if you're there."

"I'll come." I smiled, bringing him into a hug. He tightened his arms around me and gave me brief squeeze.

"I'll text you." He grinned, turning on his heel and proceeding to enter his car. He glanced at me for a short moment before he started his car up.

Helena quickly popped out, waving exuberantly. "Bye, Isaac!"

Isaac turned his gaze to her and chuckled, bringing his hand into a short wave. Turning to her, I stared at her with raised eyebrows. "No, Helena. Just no."

She turned to me and shrugged her shoulders. "Why not?" she questioned, smiling coquettishly. "He's hot, seniors are hot."

I chortled audibly, rolling my eyes. "You're a sophomore, Helena. He's going to university next year."

"Well, how old is he?" she pressed further, backing into the house with me in tow. Once gathering that he was 18, she grinned a grin that mirrored one of the Cheshire Cat. "3 years is a reasonable age gap."

"Well—"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Anyways, it's obvious he has a thing for you. You always get the cute guys."

My mom walked out of the kitchen and swiftly rushed to me. "Do you think Matthew would like to stay for dinner?" she seemed nervous, and sniffing the air, I could already smell she was cooking her best dish.

"I'll ask him," I laughed, amused by my mom's nervousness. "Why are you so anxious?"

She dismissed my question and nudged me in the direction of the stairs. "Never mind that," she rushed, gesturing to the stairs. "Just go ask him."

Entering my room, I was surprised to see that Matthew was indeed awake and had his head in his hands. An odd feeling settled in my stomach at the idea that maybe Matthew heard Isaac's name and knew that he was here.

"My mom wants to know if you'd like to stay for dinner?"

He lifted his head and smiled a tight lipped smile. "I'd love to, but I can't." He answered, tossing the covers off his body and placing his feet on the floor. "Could you pass my glasses?"

I knew he had heard, but didn't want to bring it up. That much was obvious since I could read Matthew like an open book. Stepping forward, I clutched his glasses, pressing it into his hand.

"Do you want me to drive you back?"

He shook his head and gave me a brief kiss on the cheek. "It's okay," he grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow."

---

The next morning, Gloria's eyes followed me like a hawk, an annoying glint in her eye at Matthew's absence. I leaned against the hood of my car, staring back at her blankly.

All of a sudden, her eyes lit up, and following them, I saw Matthew walk into school with Greg. I waved at Greg, smiling as he began to approach me with Matthew in tow.

Gloria's gaze was strong on me as Matthew stood in front of me. I placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a long, deep kiss. For the few first moments, I stared back at Gloria, my dislike for her heightening.

"What was that for?" Matthew chuckled, clearly breathless. "Not that I'm not complaining."

"Just another apology," I smiled, giving him a hug. "I'm sorry for almost letting Gloria come between us."

But, I hated knowing that she did and continued to do so until that not-so-perfect moment.