It was a quiet and peaceful night in my house but I couldn't sleep. I was very uncomfortable in my house as my father is an alcoholic and abusive. He started to abuse me when I was 7, I'm 18 now so I dealt with this for a while.
He wasn't always liked this. He used to be loving and kind. I used to look up to my father wanting to be just like him when I grow up. I loved my father. I still love him to a point because he is my father. I know he is angry with my mother and has no one else to take it out on but me. I blame my mother for leaving my father because if she didn't he wouldn't be like this.
My mother left me and my father when I was 6. I found out the reason why she left us a couple of years later when I saw her with another man dropping off a kid that went to my school. I don't know who the kid was but I didn't care too much since I was deeply hurt that she would leave me.
The worst of all of this is I get bullied when I'm at school because I'm not like other boys at my school. I'm not muscular, I don't like sports, I hate getting dirty, and I'm not into girls. I don't have any schools in the school but I do have friends at the flower shop I work at. They make me very happy and safe. But they don't know that I live with an abusive father. That's the only thing I keep from them as I don't them to worry about me. They do ask questions about my bruises or scratches that are sometimes visible but I just tell them a little lie about me being clumsy.
But enough about what's going on, I need to sleep. I only get 2 to 3 hours of sleep every day sometimes less. I'm also starving as I didn't get to eat dinner because my father tells me not to eat at home. The only time I get to eat is when I'm at work. I can't buy anything at school because I don't go to the cafeteria, I just go to the library to be alone and study. The library and the flower shop are my safe places. I just wish I can have a happier life and be loved. But that's only a wish. I probably will never be happy.