Dude, Bad News...You're Dead

"Welcome to the AfterLife! Check in Station; You drop dead and we get you set, how may I help you today…" A rather unenthusiastic person stuck behind a desk mentioned as they looked down at a dark haired man wearing a white robe.

"Wait…I died?! That can't be right, I just closed my eyes for a nap…I can't be dead from that!" The man tried to justify to himself though the figure behind the desk was rather casual about it; seeing as being stuck checking names and letting people move on into the afterlife does make someone numb to the prospect of existence after death.

"Don't you worry sir, this kind of death happens all the time…You don't need to worry about things anymore." The voice drawled on as it used it's quill to write out it's document.

"Worry about it?! I'M DEAD! HOW IS THAT NOT A REASON TO WORRY!" The man yelled out as he contemplated a lot; The man looked relatively young for someone who had supposedly died, he was slim built and aside from some deep blue eyes…He was probably really easy to lose in a crowd.

"Look sir, as far as you can see…Death is bound to happen but it's not the end of things, so right now you have your chance to make a choice of how you want to proceed."

"Pro…ceed?" The man asked as the figure began to glide down from his pedestal to meet the man's gaze; If there was such a thing as an angel then this was it. This person was about 8ft tall in a white suit and slender looking with white wings though the dark bags under their eyes made it clear that the Afterlife didn't block out fatigue.

"Right this way, I'll give you the tour." The Angel would remark as they walked the man through the gigantic temple, showing off various figures of different deities from all kinds of religions. "Now that you've died and ascended into the afterlife; You among billions upon billions of other people who followed your footsteps now have a chance to decide on where you'd like to go…Once we determine your full profile, we can see if where you want to go is possible or not." The Angel mentioned as they stood at four different gates.

One was an ornate, golden gate that practially glowed with a divine light, the second was a blue wooden door that had a symbol of a loop on it, the third door was a red door that had a +1 emblazoned on the front in bronze. The final door was a solid steel door that looked like it was glowing red from heat.

"So I've finished counting up your life cycle and calculated your good deeds against the bad: You've done well enough to earn a place in Heaven but your dedication to your career and refusing to stop and enjoy life's bounty has lowered your standing here so you just barely squeak by." The Ange explained with a rather monotone look on their face.

"Wait…So does that mean that I go into Heaven or not?" The man would ask and scratched his head before gazing up at the Angel who looked like they were more interested in taking a nap than answering the multitude of questions from the mortally deficient.

"You can go through any one of these doors; the first one leads to Heaven where you can bask in the sun and relax until the end of days…" The Angel then leaned in to whisper; "Trust me, it's not as fun as it sounds…It's basically a nursing home with extra steps." They snarked quietly and looked around like they were about to be caught.

"I…See, so what about the other doors?" The man asked as he looked at the other three doors; "What's this one?"

"Okay, so have you heard of Isekai when you were alive?" The Angel asked the man curiously as they tapped the door.

"Y-Yeah? But my job always kept me too busy to get into it too much." The man mentioned; "Basically you enter another world and live out life there."

"That's pretty much it…But we offer a literal myriad of options here; If you feel like you wanna be the big hero in the other world then you can pick out the "Big Damn Heroes" package, we also got one for the people who want control in the "Power Fantasy" Package…Or if you wanna be a literal babe magnet then we have the "Harem Protagonist-kun" Package for the degenerates and the people who want affection." The Angel listed off with their best Billy Mays impression; "But wait, there's mo-"

"Okay! I get it!" The man exclaimed as this all rattled in his head; "You got something for just a straightforward adventure? I just want to enjoy the freedom." He would ask the Angel once he got his breath back.

"Yep, you want it, you got it…But the packages have one thing in common; we take you to our storeroom and you kit yourself out in what equipment or doodads that you want and we can send you on your way." The Angel mentioned with a halfhearted shrug.

"Okay…The other door? Because I'm assuming that the door on the far end is for Hell." The man quizzed as the burning colour and solid look made it easy to understand.

"Good eye, then again; our creator isn't exactly the most imaginative writer of the Cosmic Beyond." The Angel said but then ended up getting zapped by a bolt of lightning and left them with a tinge of black around their suit; "Yeah, that's gonna earn me another 100 years overtime for that one…" They remarked as they pointed to the +1 door; "This is your quick return door: For people who have been dealt crappy hands in life or for those who had to deal with a lot like soldiers, people who died in disasters or easily preventable circumstances, this door allows someone a chance to reincarnate into a more pleasant life."

"Reincarnation…So they get just a normal life after that?" The man asked as they tapped their fingers on the door, watching the +1 emblem glimmer in the light.

"It's Heaven Principle; Depending on what you do in life affects what you're born as in the next one, like if you barely skirt the line of good than you can be reborn in a peaceful farm life but someone who goes above and beyond to do good like saving people or sacrificing their own well being end up being reborn into a more comfortable life…Sometimes they're a scion to a famous company, sometimes a princeling or in rare cases they end up as the next prodigy in the world." The Angel explained as they listed off various other options. "So what do you say? Fancy the easy life, another chance or try your luck with your own new decision."

The man thought on it as he weighed his options; "So there's no wrong answer on this?"

"Absolutely not, it's your afterlife after all." The angel reassured them as they dusted off after their little reprimanding zap.

"Then I'll choose the Second Chance." The man said as he felt more confident now that he had literally nothing else to live for.

"Alrighty, follow me and we'll get you squared up in our Second Life Storeroom." The Angel perked up a little as they guided the man away from the doors and what looked like a gigantic warehouse that was tinted with whites, golds and blacks. "We'll start with a contract before you go in." They mentioned and then unfurled a scroll that detailed every possible thing. "THIS is to ensure that when you step into the new world with the tools, powers and gear that you picked out yourself; you'll take responsibility for it…So that means no complaining, resets or takebacksies if the powers you choose, the world you choose or your tools aren't what you signed up for, that's on you." The Angel explained as they pulled out a pen and held it out for the Man to take.

The Man then clicked the pen and signed it; "Well if I do end up being wrong then it'll be on me regardless." He admitted as he then signed his name and watched the scroll; "There, so where do I start?"

"Slow your roll…First we have a few things to decide first; What did you wanna go for? Because nearly every person goes for some anime and jumps right in." The Angel mentioned as they opened up a door like it was a gigantic wardrobe; showing a literal vault of names from all manner of series from the most obscure tv shows to the most popular games around; "So shall we start here or on what you'll take in?"

The Man scanned the titles for a good few minutes but ultimately was stuck trying to choose; "Is it a long shot to ask for a "Surprise Me" Option?" He asked curiously but earned a raised eyebrow from the Angel.

"You realise that making a roulette wheel of literal millions of titles could bite you in the ass, right?" The Angel pointed out but then sighed as they snapped their fingers to make a giant wheel appear; "So I'm gonna put some ground rules on this; One platform only! So…TV, Anime or Games?"

"Games."

The Angel then decided to snap their fingers again, their eyes flashed completely white as numerous images blinked by before finally stopping; showing ES and something that just said Souls on the two panels, "I've used my powers to scan your file and comb through each passage of our library…What you see in front of you are one series that you played extensively throughout your life and the other is the most recent game that you played…Care to elaborate?"

The man nodded as he looked at the two; "Ever since I started college; I played Skyrim almost extensively when it released…" The Man would explain with a small smile of nostalgia on his face.

"That certainly explains the lack of sleep aspect leading up to his end…"

"And as for Souls…I can only assume it is Dark Souls? Because I played Elden Ring a little before I…Yeah…"

"Or Ashen Souls…Or Young Souls…Or Titan Souls…There is no point in ruining the surprise for someone who left their choices up to chance." The Angel pointed out as they crossed their arms; "So this is how it'll work; The wheel will spin and whatever it lands on will be the foundation for your journey…You have until it stops spinning to grab what you need from the other shelves for your journey and then sign the release form." They explained.

"W-Wait, isn't that a li-"

"Your timer starts now!" The Angel declared as they flicked their finger on the wheel and it almost instantly started to spin around like a supersonic blur.

The Man sprinted towards the treasure shelves and started to skim the lines as fast as he could; searching for anything that he could use but the problem with literal billions of tools and gear? It was all too good to pass up for a journey.

The wheel was slowing it's spins from multiple times a second to 3 spins a second; "Tick tock, if you can't get anything and sign your name in time then you'll go in with nothing."

This put the screws on the Man as he made doubly sure to find potions; "Come on…Give me an exp potion, a healing kit…anything!" He mentally yelled to himself but decided to grab a random potion off of the shelf and rushed back; "Here!" The man yelled out as he scribbled his signature.

"Nice work, so the first wheel is for the world you're gonna venture into and the second will be what your abilities are taken from." The Angel explained as the first wheel landed on ES and the second wheel landed on Souls. "So…You got Souls tools in Tamriel, The rule is simple, You can respawn and reform as many times as you wish until you…Hm…Let's see…." The Angel mused as they donned some reading glasses and then began leafing through the codex on the Skyrim lore. "I'd say that in order to reach your goal, You must triumph over each person who wants to conquer like the dragons, the Monks and the vampires…Once you've done that and found a way out, you'll be considered victorious and earn yourself some points to carry over back to the Afterlife…"

"Points? Wait, is this like forever now or is it like Gantz where I can earn my free-"

"Alrighty, all that's left is for you to drink up, write your name and you'll be all set." The Angel rushed as they were noticing how behind schedule they were and was starting to get anxious.

The Man sighed as he then drank down the potion in his hands and started to cough. "Oh god! This tastes like cough syrup mixed with hot sauce except it's all the worst parts of both!" He mentally wheezed after swallowing it down. Once he felt that gritty aftertaste leave his mouth; he tapped in a name for himself; however it was only after he submitted it and felt himself get bathed in light that he noticed that it was mispelled: "Mar"

The Angel breathed out a sigh of relief as that was one extra job completed for their quota; "Good luck to you, buddy…You're gonna need it for your journey to Skyrim." They said to themselves as they went to take down the wheels while contemplating their desire to take a nap for a while when they had a moment of second guessing with their setup…"Wait…Was World the first wheel or was it the second?"

By the time that the Man…Or as he had now named himself "Mar" woke up, he was stuck in a dungeon clad with a dirty cloth around his waist and nothing else around him. "This isn't how I started in Skyrim…Normally I'm being pulled off the cart for execution when Alduin attacks…." Mar thought to himself as he got to his feet and looked around his cell; He wasn't exactly sure how but this dungeon cell looked even worse than any cell he got arrested in while trying to pickpocket for the Brotherhood.

Thrusting him out of his train of thought was a solid THUMP! As a corpse dropped from a hole in the ceiling where a knight was crouched over and peering in; "You've chosen a bad time to awaken, friend…This asylum holds no mercy for the Undead and the warden of this place would sooner see us as mulch than let us free." The knight elaborated before walking away from the hole, leaving Mar almost as quickly as he arrived.

"Wait! How am I supposed to get out of here?!" Mar yelled up at the knight but got no response except for the despondent groaning of the other inmates. "Figures…Alright, let's see what we can do?" He said to himself and then cracked the index finger on his left hand; shocking himself when he saw a menu pop up out of thin air with a title so simple that even the most vanilla of gamers could understand. "Stats…So this is what I got to wooooo-Holy shit that's a lot of nines!" Mar remarked lazily but then quickly perked up when he saw the numbers attached to them.

NAME: Mar

Level:

EXP to Next Level: 0

Vitality: 99

Attunement: 99

Endurance: 99

Strength: 99

Dexterity: 99

Resistance: 99

Intelligence: 99

Faith: 99

Known Sorceries: 0

Known Pyromancies: 0

Known Miracles: 0

Dragon Souls Consumed: 0

Shouts: 19

Shout Strength: 1

Mar grinned as he listed each one, it may not be the world of Tamriel but with Stats like these meant that this world was his oyster if it kept all his progress. However with the more he read down this list, the more quickly he realised that something was wrong; "Shout strength? Never seen that one before…Wait, I have no magic spells at all?! I thought I always started with a Fire Spell as a def…This really isn't boding well…" He thought to himself as he went to go examine the dead person that was dropped in his cell.

As the body was rolled over; a key could be seen strapped to it's hand but since most of everything else was stripped away, Mar could barely salvage clothing let alone any weapons or money.

"It's a start at least…" Mar grumbled as he walked over to the cell door and peered into the dimly lit hallway; besides the other people who he could see under the light, anyone else was hidden behind either a door or collapsed on the floor. Something else did seem to worry him though; Ever since he woke up, all he had been hearing was a rhythmic thumping coming from outside his cell and it did nothing to ease him considering that his time in Tamriel had him worried and running from the likes of Dragons and Giants. Slipping the key into the lock and turning it managed to make the door creak open into the somewhat more open area, Mar decided to see if he had any weapons on hand; If he could see his stats by cracking his index finger under his thumb, that could be how he accessed everything else. He started with the pinky on his left hand and pressed it into his palm; What opened up was a list titled "Magic" and much like his stats said, there were zero spells that he could pick from. The ring finger on his left hand seemed to open up his armour inventory and his middle finger opened his weapons.

"Nothing…" Mar realised as he scrolled through all the menus with a new sense of paranoia and dread when he realised that he was stuck somewhere he didn't remember, with no magic or weapons that he could rely on; With one last tap of his thumb against his palm, he opened up his Shouts Menu and found himself with a little hope.

Every Shout that he had accrued over his time in Skyrim was still there and fully unlocked, though he had to remember that they required a cooldown time between use and he had no jewelry that could cut that timer down either. "I have to play this safe and not spam them." Mar admitted as he walked through the cell and into the hall, the sound of the thumping got louder and louder like a giant marching around with a herd of mammoths. "Time to see if this still works…" Mar remarked and took a cautious look around, cupping his hands around his mouth to carry the sound of his Shout.

"Laas Yah Nir!"

The Aura Whisper thankfully didn't attract any attention since it was a literal whisper but the weak pulse of energy that came out lit up the outlines of all living things within the hallway. It did however also light up something big…REALLY big in the parallel room. Mar wasn't sure what it was since there was no light coming through but the sound of it's footsteps and it's outline made it clear on one thing; Even with his maxed out stats, he probably shouldn't mess with it until he had a weapon or some magic in hand.

There were groans and growls around Mar as he wandered the hallway towards where he thought the exit was; surprisingly enough, none of the other walking cadavers seemed to recognise him as a threat or even his presence at all.

"Weird…Normally I expect to hear someone talking or threatening but whatever this place is…It really broke people down." Mar thought to himself as he climbed up the ladder and shielded his eyes when he saw the brighter light peeking through the overcast sky above him.

This place wasn't welcoming on the inside and the exterior of the prison echoed that sentiment; the sparse patches of grass and loose stones littered the courtyard along with that same rhythmic thumping that resonated on the rock. The only thing that looked and felt somewhat appealing was a broken sword sticking out of a pile of rubble; though the lingering sparks around it gave the impression that it was a bonfire that had long gone out.

Mar couldn't tell what it was but he felt himself stepping towards the dead fireplace; Each step closer made him feel warmer like he had found the one campfire at the Throat of the World, the bonfire burst into life with a crackle under him from the moment that his fingers grazed the hilt of the sword sticking out of the ground. "Interesting…No fire magic was on me yet it triggered nonetheless…Still it feels weird to be out here like this." He admitted to himself, now that he could see himself in a better light; he realised just what changed about him in this world. Aside from the raggedy loincloth around his waist was a vicious looking brand on his chest that looked like someone hollowed out his heart yet he could still feel it beating…Somewhat. As he peeked up at the sky, he felt a word linger in his mind: "Undead Asylum…Yeah, this is nowhere near Tamriel…So that means that… This is either some weird new area I somehow missed or I got shafted and sent somewhere else…"

Mar dusted himself off and headed towards the gigantic double doors before pushing them open; "This place really loves their big entrances…I swear if I run into a Giant in here, I'm gonna crawl out of this world and give that angel a piece of m-"

BATHOOM!

The sound of a giant body hitting the floor and a giant shadow loomed over Mar; slowly climbing to it's feet was a several times bigger Demon with gnarled horns and a squashed in face stared him down. Dragging its club up by the handle and into its clawed hands with a deafening roar, the Asylum Demon readied itself to turn Mar into a puddle of meat and bones.

"That's not a giant…Oh shit, where the hell did that Angel send me?!"