5 A moral crossroads

Chapter 5

Taking a bath before sleeping was a habit Zin brought from his previous life. A habit that raised many an eyebrow, for bathing was not a popular habit in Skyrim. What with all the cold weather there and the rather medieval set of mind, with little to no focus on issues like hygiene. Joking, who would be concerned about hygiene when going to bed with a full tummy is the main concern.

Moreover, bathing as a mage is far easier than imagined. Conjure a stream of water in the pool like bath, heat it with a simple heating spell, then add some spices for fragrance and cleaning, and finally dip in. No need to wash clothes, as a simple cleaning spell can do wonders. Once done bathing, simply banish the water. And boom, you're done bathing.

Zin sighed content. It surely is a luxury being able to continue one of his old habits into this life.

One of the times he could relax and let down the impeding sense of urgency.

Coming back to his room, Zin took out his notebook that he had started keeping in his own little dimensional storage (he created it after getting some know-how of space and dimensional spells). He surfed fast through the contents of the notebook; details of the soon to happen events, details that if made public would shake the whole top brass of the empire. Details which if found on him would result in him being incarcerated in the crime of planning a rebellion or at least wishing ill to the empire and Skyrim. Or maybe just ignored as the ramblings of a fanciful kid. Calculating and making mental notes of events that had already transpired.

Rise of 'The Bear of Markarth'. Check.

Demands about Talos' worship from The Bear, the empires' agreeing to it and later betrayal. Check.

Imprisonment of Ulfric and seceding of the empire to the dominion's demands regarding the Nords. Check.

Arrival of the Thalmor and increased meddling in the affairs of Skyrim. Check. creating ways to raise public dissent and plant agents and spies. Check.

Increasing resentment of Nords towards the Empire. Check.

Death of Hoag Stormcloak and release of Ulfric from prison a certain period after Hoag's death to amplify sorrow and resentment towards the empire. Check.

The increased attempts by Ulfric at secession, and rebellion. In-work.

Death of Istold and succession of Torygg. Pending.

Death of Torygg. Pending.

Sighing once again, Zin put away the notebook. Lying down, he couldn't help thinking about who he was, and his identity and status in this world. Was he still playing a game? He could certainly say no. so should he allow so many people to die and be wronged? Again no. So what could he do? Or what should he do?

That night again Zin fought a lot against himself and his own set principles and codes of life. The human inside him was making him restless, was torturing him. Was resisting the very notion of him allowing all the written events in the notebook to unfold as written. Resisting all the needless death and destruction, all the sadness and heartbreak.

All night he dreamt. About his goal. About the times to come. About the consequences of failure. About the pain. The pain his father went through. The pain the whole of Cyrodiil went through. The pain of failure. The pain of losing a war.

Zin got up from his disturbed sleep somewhat before the time for his routine morning training. Supposed to have slept, he felt as if he hadn't slept at all, as all the scenarios and possibilities that had been coming together to haunt his nightmares replayed in his mind, destroying his will to sleep, numbing his very senses. Getting up, he leaned heavily in bed in a daze, breathing heavily, as if making a choice. For a choice it really was. It dictated who he would be as a person: a spectator and eventually actor coming on-stage to play his assigned role; or a conscientious person, who would try to help avoid catastrophes befalling his fellow people - A conscientiousness that may very likely blow up into a full scale crisis, even greater than the world was going to face because of a myriad of forces and extremely powerful beings being present in the world and having their influences, their interests and for some their carnal pleasures and fun at stake.

And so was he brooding in his mood, when he felt a splash of ice cold water on his face.

"Elaine," he bellowed. "Not again. I was NOT sleeping. Why did you not call me instead of drenching me again in cold water?"

A red-head bobbed into his view with a smirk on those cherry red lips, "Oh haha. So the little Mr. Melancholy can show more expressions than the one like as if his dog died."

"Why did you drench me? And I'm not Mr. Melancholy."

"Well, the whole of solitude calls you that. Oblivion, there are rumors going around that the kid at thane Larus' house is facing child abuse because you're all the time wearing a face as if you're constipated. What is it troubling you? Tell me, I'll make sure I help, this is no way for a kid to be." He saw real concern for himself this time in the light grey eyes.

"Nothing much". The golden pupils dilated to almost the whole of the silver irises. "Just worried about the soon to be events and all the disasters to follow, like about the civil strife that's to follow. It really concerns me."

"Oh come on, your lordship, the future is what is to be. No one knows it, no one can control it. Worrying about it is not something that a baby like you can handle." She smiled while pinching his cheek. "And even if you want to worry, you can't hold the sky up with your little shoulders."

She looked at the drenched boy, hoping that her words could bring him out of the gloom that had been eating him, and as she started casting the warming and drying spell, she noticed that the boy had fallen into a deep thought, muttering "no one knows it, no one can control it". She chuckled again, hard pinching both his cheeks, only to notice a firm resolute look in his eyes.

She heard him mutter, "If they don't control it, they're all planning. And their all plans are actually wrenches thrown into each other's plans. Let me throw my own wrench."

Zin got up. Since he had grown proficient in swordsmanship and had grown to all-round level of a junior knight, training had been much more lax. The bodyguards had become much more like elder siblings than teachers and military instructors, even helping him dress, despite his feeling awkward and ashamed as a soul of a grown man. But he couldn't just refuse them, because they'd been taking care of him since he'd been wearing nappies.

Although he had the overall level of a junior knight, his expertise with a sword, and fighting methods could rival a veteran knight, only lagging in size and battle experience, though even there he was quite could with a type of innate bestial instinct. The two Elaine and Selene could well feel his growth, feeling mixed emotions of wonder, joy and jealousy. That day he trained for only two hours, a stark contrast from his routine four hours of grinding; and then he put down his sword, and turned to leave deep in thought. Taking a few steps, he said, "oh sorry, I wanted to say that I'll be shortening my training time to two hours from the usual four to try focusing on research."

He turned again hearing a sound of a sword falling, only to see tears filling Selene's violet eyes. Elaine looked like she had been slapped, turning away with a red face. "What happened?"

"Nothing. You've grown so big, now you don't need us. We can be our little bodyguards now, your lordship. Pray give us leave to follow you in the shadows so we don't appear too conspicuous", Selene gave a curt bow, while Elaine continued walking without a word.

Zin was baffled. "When did I say I don't need you? You taught me to use a sword, fast battle magic and much more. And you will always be my sparring partners. I just said that I'm going to research magic. Why are you all emotional all of a sudden?"

"But you left without explaining all suddenly. We thought you were dissatisfied with our lesson and will get a new, more powerful and experienced sparring partner and tutor", Elaine pouted.

"you're my only friends, and you know it." Zin comforted her. "you know, I'm far too mature to be playing with those kids. If I throw even you away, I will be too lonely. Moreover, I may be a little fast at learning, but you two are also fast learners. Not everyone is able to be qualified full knights by sixteen, and you two are not only great at weapons, you are also talented in magic. I read in old books that those who combine magic and close quarters combat are known as eldritch knights, a very qualified profession. And I'm honored to be followed by the very best two of them."

Selene started: "Haha, slick mouth," the two rushed to him. "You turned from the depressed Mr. Melancholy to the buttering Mr. asskisser real fast." They began squeeze one of his cheeks from the both sides.

"And you promoting some strange knowledge, Talos knows where you got from; under the pretext of old books never gets old. Seriously, even your father, one of the most talented mages had never read those 'books'." Elaine added raising an eyebrow in pretend concern.

"Ahem ladies, these are my cheeks not your kneading dough."