Family
What do you think life is? Or what even is life? Our childhood life, school life, work life, and love life. Our existence. But life is not easy. To face reality, it costs our mind. Having problems in our lives was common, but it's too much. Like having a Family problem, some of your loved ones die, school problems like bullying or failing grades, work problems. To have such a problem, people often to choose suicide.
What's the human goal of this world? What's our purpose? What are we supposed to do? They say that we study and get a job. But what for? Wealth? Some say for family. And others say to achieve their dream. But was it worth it? Yes, it's worth it. But what's next? After we reach our goal, then what now? Humans only have 1 life. So everything we went through, in the end death is our last stop. Our achievement was only temporary. Even there's such as reincarnation, to be reborn and leaving behind all of what you achieve. Your determination just wasted like that.
Our future is unknown, like walking in the dark with a flashlight in our hand. Just keep walking where the flashlight pointing was. The flashlight was our guide, while the battery was our mental focus on how we will last.
I'm in the dark, a dark-dark place. Without the flashlight. As I move, the space becomes tighter. It's hard to breathe, and I'm in pain. I want to shout and cry, but I can't. As the space keeps tighter, I see a light from far. I ran into it as fast as I could. When I kept running towards, I felt something pushing me from behind me. As I run and run, the light gets closer and closer. When I reached it, I thought to myself that I'm about to learn what life was. And why's that? That's because----------
"UWAA!!!"
I was born.
>>>
SOME YEARS PASSED AFTER BIRTH
"You piece of shit."
This mere word.
"What you said, asshole?!"
Some words that I can't understand.
"Are you deaf?!"
"Why you!"
Me, a mere child, a 5 years old seeing this sight of some 2 guys fighting. My heart aches while watching them. It makes me confused on what I felt.
"James!"
"Mom!"
I'm in the grocery store with my mom when we got separated and some fight started.
"Come here, it's dangerous there."
When I ran into mom and hugged her legs. I don't know what's that feeling that makes me tremble while hugging. Mom just patted my head and I looked up at her.
"Let's go home?"
When mom asked me that, I just nodded at her. While we're walking home, I ask mom about back then.
"Mom, what's asshole?"
"??"
Yes, the word back there. I ask mom what's the meaning of it?
"Where did you hear that from?"
"Back then, in the grocery store."
Mom just awkwardly silence. She has a "how can I explain this?" expression on her face. To break the silence, I called her.
"Mom?"
"A? Ah, that. It's a bad word."
"Bad word?"
"Yes, it's bad. So you should not say that to people."
"Ok."
It's already sunset when we've reached home.
"We're home!"
"Oh, welcome home."
Dad greeted us in the living room while watching TV.
Mom sighed. "There's been a fight in the grocery store."
"Oh, that's bad. More people are becoming bad like that in the news."
"Oh, what's that?"
"There's a murder case in our neighborhood."
"What?! In our neighborhood?! That's scary. We need to be careful walking outside. And where's Candice?"
"She's not home yet."
"What?! That girl again."
Mom being angry again at sis. Sis is always going home late. Sis is only just a middle schooler, but she's rebelling.
Mom sighed. "I'm going to head into the kitchen and cook."
Mom seemed to calm down and went into the kitchen. I sat on the couch and watched TV too with dad. But dad switched the channel to the children show because of the content of the news that he can't show me.
While watching TV, I heard the sound of a door. It was sis.
"Where are you?"
"Just there."
"There?! There's been a murder incident in our neighborhood, and you're always coming home late!"
"Why do you even care?!"
"Candice!"
Sis ran to her room again after arguing. And mom just sighed and returned to the kitchen. They always argue when sis gets home late. But---
"Food is ready!"
When it's time to eat.
"Sorry."
Sis still apologizes and mom keeps forgiving her. Even if our family is not ideal, it's not bad either.
…
But now...
"I'm home."
"Oh, welcome home. The food is ready."
"Coming!"
I went into the dining room to eat.
"James, how's school?"
"It's great, grandma."
Yes, it's my grandma. I've been living in my grandma's house since the incident.
"James, if there's a problem, you can talk about it to grandma."
Grandma is still worried about me. Even though it's just the two of us, she's giving me comfort about what happened in the past.
"I'm ok, grandma."
"Just don't force yourself."
After eating, I always shut myself in my room. I always think to myself how I ended up like this. I miss my family. Furthermore, I still remember that incident.
I was just a 1st year middle schooler back then when it happened.
Dad has been getting home late lately. Mom was getting suspicious of him. And they're sometimes arguing. And sometimes they don't talk to each other. But it's getting worse, to the point that dad's not going home.
But when that day came, it was the turning point of my life.
It was late at night. I was going to the bathroom to pee. When I finished peeing and came out, I heard some voices downstairs. And I went down and took a peek. The voice was coming from the living room. There, Mom and Dad were arguing again. It's been a week since Dad went home. I guess Mom already lost her patient and got furious.
I was just there eavesdropping.
"Where were you?!"
"It's none of your business."
"ANSWER ME!"
"Can you shut up?!"
They didn't seem to notice me, while I could hear their conversation clearly.
"Why don't you answer?! You've been going home late lately, or not going home! While you're away, we're running out of food! Where do you even go? Were you cheating on me?! Is there another family you've been living with?! What about us, your son?! Are you going to abandon us?!"
Mom was having a breakdown, her words just filled the room. While Dad is just silently standing there, he's clenching his fist like he's irritated.
"Hey, why are you silent?! Did you hear me?! Are you deaf?! ANSWER ME, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!"
I was trembling in fear at what I saw when Dad punched Mom in the face and fell.
"CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP!"
After Mom gets punched, she's glaring at Dad.
"You want to learn the truth? Yes, I'm cheating on you. Now, shut up. Ha, now I'm hungry because of you."
Dad went into the dining room.
"You bastard, we're not done yet!"
And Mom followed him afterwards. Even I'm trembling, I followed them too.
My heart was aching when I slowly peeked at them. Dad was already eating at the table while Mom's standing there ranting.
To be normal, we thought this situation was going to end up with a divorce. But it's not, It's something far…
The room became quiet. Mom stops ranting, rather, she starts muttering. Dad was just minding his own business, eating. I can't hear Mom's muttering, but she's suddenly going to the kitchen.
I was shocked. Really, really shocked.
When Dad's late to realize that the room's been quiet. As Dad turned around and Mom was standing behind him, then suddenly stabbed him. Next, as Mom pushed the chair and Dad fell down, she stabbed him constantly.
I was there, watching Mom kill Dad. I was trembling in fear. Until my legs gave up and fell on my knees and Mom noticed me.
She looks at me. I'm trying to get up, but it's hard. She's still staring at me. It's terrifying when she's staring at me with blood in her face. Due to that, I managed to get up out of fear. When I get up, she starts to talk.
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorr--"
I'm really shocked by some words she's repeatedly saying like she became crazy. I decided to run.
It's not long since I left the house, but the last words she said are still stuck in my head. She said rather Mom said...
"Sorry, James. And take a safe trip."
Conclusion of the story is when the Cops arrived at our house, Dad was practically dead and Mom too was dead by stabbing her neck.