6 Love and Me

Love....

"What is love really?", I questioned myself repeatedly.

"Happiness?Faithfulness?Trust?Understanding?Appreciation??",I laughed mockingly as I answered myself. All of this I did but never reciprocated.

Karma... That's what I believe is happening to myself.

"Be patient,you will find the right guy one day."

"There must be something wrong with you if guys keep on doing that to you."

"Maybe you just met the wrong guy."

All those and more are what my friends keep on telling me.

I cried in every relationship. Happiness that happens only once in a while and fights occuring at other times.

Money.Time.Energy.Feelings.

I exhausted all of this in all my relationships. I worked non-stop and suffered from anemia. I had eyebags for my lack of sleep. I skipped meals so that my money can be spent with my partners. I never discriminate in choosing partners. I never cared about their past,accepting who they are at the moment and trying to help them improve to be better. I met with their families,bowing my head humbly to them.Listening as they mock,judge and discriminate me due to my job,educational level or any other things that pop up.

Being interrogated by the parents like I am a "man" wanting to woo their "daughter". I did all these,losing a piece of myself everytime till I don't know who I was. Till i don't care or love myself.

Until there is no "ME".