15 Be My Poking Partner Tom Hardy, Please!

Dear Tom Hardy,

I am your number one fan!

The first time I saw you, I felt ecstatic. I could not believe an actor could be so entertaining and trendy.

Your role in the Oscars was little and simply strong.

I've created a collection of tickets to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with photos.

My ambition is to go to my hotel together and engage in some serious poking. I'd make you sausages then we'd watch Frozen until the sun set.

I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my poking partner Tom Hardy, please!

With your reply, please enclose some more tickets for my ever-growing collection.

Please, please, please reply.

Jane Doe