"My name's Gou Dan, don't laugh."
"Right, right. Gou as in dog and Dan as in egg?"
"Yes. My family name is Gou and my name is Dan."
"Do you know how valuable my name is?"
"50,000,000! And that's not even inflated."
"Me, too! Genuinely good at a genuine price."
"Do you wanna change your child's surname? Lowest price guaranteed, 70,000!"
"Wait, why are you leaving? What's wrong with having Gou as a surname? It sounds better than your Li, no?"
"Bastard! Come back! Try that again! Who's the dog?"
...
2015, October 11. A news conference, held by the State Council Information Office of the People's Republic of China, announced the implementation of the nation's two-child policy.
2016, January 1, implementation day, is when all evil started.
The most immediate effect of the policy was a spike in birthrate.
It has always been a tradition for the first child, male or female, to take his or her father's surname.
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