22 Chapter 22: Good understanding

"Your Majesty, wouldn't you like to hear the rest of the story. I have not yet told you even half of the mage's story, or about his abilities and character. I have not yet told you about the many times when he almost met the bandit maiden. And about the silver deer in the forest of the wood-nymphs... For wood-nymphs did not have horses, you know, though they loved them very much! And about the Princess of the Wood-nymphs," she spoke vehemently. The evening when Shirazad realized she'd been telling a story during the day, she'd asked to leave, but the king had told her to stay with him... This had somehow made her anxious so now she was trying to hide herself behind endless chatter.

At that point, the king laughed a short loud laugh.

"Do you dislike me, Shirazad? Like you disliked those other men?"

She was petrified at the question,

"... ...Well, I have never disliked anyone the way the bandit-maiden disliked this mage I told you about..."

Every time. She could do this every time with an absent-minded look. Beating around the bush.

"But he just saved her. He saved her life. Isn't she too cruel to hate him?"

"Er, she did not know that he saved her. Moreover, let me remind you, he had his own incentive to do that..."

"You said she hated him. Why?"

"She had a very good reason to hate him, Your Majesty," Shirazad replied, "but at that point of the story, she did not know that he was the person she hated."

"Did he know that she hated him?" the king said.

"I don't know, Your Majesty. ...Could be. He was aware that he was not the most loved person in the forest of the wood-nymphs, but he could hardly guess just how determined against him she was. I don't think he cared a lot about people's opinions anyway."

Huh, this was getting complicated... Anyway, she didn't like to speak in advance about the story because the initial idea could change.

So she kept telling the story, on and on, and then she realized...

"Your Majesty?" Shirazad said, at first louder, then a bit quieter. She saw that the king had fallen asleep as he was lying on the bed. It was the first time she saw him asleep. She'd been in his quarters day and night, sometimes she'd even allowed herself to have a nap because she'd been too tired, but every time she opened her eyes, he was awake already or gone away.

It was the first time she was completely alone and unsupervised in his room. Other times, there had been maids around or the king himself. Now she allowed herself to notice some details in the room; previously, she'd been afraid they'd scold her or she would appear too curious. She almost believed that he never slept.

Inexplicably, she felt some sadness in her heart but she couldn't pinpoint the reason for it.

So what other choice did she have now except to also fall asleep?

Early in the morning, the king woke up and also woke her up.

"So, was their life happy all the time? They hated each other but then they loved each other, and that's it?" he said.

"What is happiness, Your Majesty? I've seen people who have so many things but are unhappy. Then happiness depends on some inner conditions we do not know much about... My father had an old friend, a rich merchant, who was always grumpy... Ah, perhaps that's not the exact word; sometimes he was rude, sometimes it was obvious he thought he was more important than other people; but at all times he appeared to me so very lonely. Yet once this man told me about his childhood on a farm, and how there were big trees and a lot of squirrels there. And his voice changed so completely that I thought... how happy he must have been back then."

This prompted him to say, "I was born in this palace and I've lived here all my life. I know your father since he was very young..." I knew your father, he thought.

"Did you know my mother too?.." she thought.

"Your mother? Not really. I may have seen her. But I was very young, and women didn't attend many assemblies in the palace."

And she thought, he was speaking with fondness of her father, could he really have killed him? If not, what could have happened?

"What makes a story unique, Shirazad?" he asked.

She laughed. "Your Majesty, there is no recipe. ...Some people think all stories are the same, other people think every story is unique. I guess."

"What would you do with your life if you were not married?"

"Who knows, Your Majesty... People make all kinds of plans but who has lived his life according to his plan?"

"Yes, nobody's life goes according to their plans... How did you feel about it?"

She wondered about the question, "What do you mean?" Things not going in accordance with her plans? "...Do you mean how I felt about marrying you?... I don't know."

"You never cry," he stated.

"I do cry, I just make sure that nobody sees me... ...Shall I continue with the story?"

"I don't know, should you? Is it good to get lost in stories that enchant the mind but are essentially disconnected from reality?" Shahryar asked.

"Your Majesty, I never imagined you had so many questions," Shirazad exclaimed. And when she wasn't sure he understood her, she added, "I mean... His Majesty was so silent before."

"But you don't have enough answers," he smiled.

"Your Majesty, we build reality... therefore, what is reality?" Shirazad said.

"Talking with you... is so much like talking with your father," he noted.

She sighed, "My father was right."

"Why? What did your father say about me?"

"Nothing, Your Majesty. Truly, nothing... I just thought he used to say there is so little of this world that we know..."

"Why don't you continue with the story? But... tell me a story that is going to answer all of my questions," the king said.

"Ah, I would also like to find a story that would answer all of my questions," she said.

"Ask me your questions. I may answer," the king said.

"But I don't know what to ask. ...Your Majesty, when I was younger, I really wanted to tell the perfect story. But then I realized no story is perfect; the world is way too rich and our tastes way too different. So, it's not the story itself, it is your heart that defines the perfection of a story. Sometimes I thought a story was boring, but someone else loved it. And that's all right – actually, that is perfect. It is what makes the world an interesting place."

Whoa. Suddenly she grew silent. She sounded so philosophical... it was unusual of her. She believed practical things are more important than words, so if you can't ~do~ something, then you shouldn't talk about it.

"With such good understanding of storytelling, I am sure you will be able to sense my heart's definition of a perfect story and to create a masterpiece accordingly," he flattered her.

"I may have a good understanding of storytelling, but I don't have a good understanding of your heart," she said.

"...Ah. And how could we enhance your understanding?"

"...I don't know," she was thoughtful. "Do you have a good understanding of your heart, Your Majesty?"

She looked at his face as his smile of amusement slowly turned into a serious stare.

"Excuse me," she said. "My meaning was that no person knows their own heart very well..."

"And how about you, Shirazad? Do you have a good understanding of your heart? Where's the unreal love you're after? Who is ever good enough for you?"

"Everybody is good...," she said and wanted to continue, but he interrupted her.

"So no one is."

"I am sorry I angered you. Why have I rejected one man or some men? It's not because they were bad... I simply haven't been in love with them..."

She frowned. He somehow always provoked her, and then she said things she was sorry for, or she thought she wasn't sure she completely agreed with herself.

They were both quiet.

"Can people turn back time, Shirazad? Can people change the mistakes of past?" he said as he was lying on the bed. She was sitting at the lower side of the bed.

"I don't know," she looked down at her hands, "...But in your case, I guess not."

He sat up in the bed, agitated,

"Why don't you tell me for once something kind and calming?"

"There are so many people who will tell you pleasant things, Your Majesty. I assumed since you were sharing this with me, you were expecting to hear something unpleasant." She wondered, "Your Majesty, you were so silent before and now you ask me so many questions... It is difficult for me to answer..."

"It looks as if it's easy for you," he noted.

She thought, ~Your Majesty, sometimes you sound as if you seek forgiveness, but I am not the right person for you to approach. Because you have not done anything bad to me.~

...Meanwhile, more and more people were discussing the royal romance,

"They say she's been telling him a story whole day, and he postponed all of his tasks. She's stayed for three days in the king's quarters, not returning to her own quarters, and even eating there," servants rumored.