2 Rebirth (2)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

YES!

The Matron, in her infinite wisdom, in lieu of summoning the one person I will forever feel awkward around for the rest of my life, simply presented me with a bottle. I snatched that thing out of her hands in a way that I think surprised her and drank the sweet, warm, white liquid of life!

But in all seriousness, I liked eating this way. Forcing myself to not think while I ate and…yeah. Felt awful. I'm traumatized for life.

Anyway! The dark times are over now. I can eat without guilt. Which is awesome.

I'm not sure, but I think I've been here for over a year. Calendar flips that I've been keeping track of from my crib. Twelve makes a year. Unless I've been drastically mistaken and the place I'm living in has shorter or longer months than the old world.

Speaking of the place I live in, that would be Konoha, unless the walls are decorated with Konoha symbols in a nursery in Kiri for some freaking reason.

Bottle was empty.

I want another one!

The matron chuckled, a little impressed or disbelieving as she handed me another vessel of beautiful formula! Yes! Oh I hope this is a permanent thing because I am eating guilt free! It's like being on a diet but being able to eat all of the ice cream in the world without gaining a pound.

Later that night, I woke up. Which is weird because I usually slept like a rock since I got here. Which is weird because it's actually a return to form in that I was kind of an insomniac before I ran that truck over with my car and missed the driver.

Grumbling aside, I stood up and gripped the bars of my crib. Underneath the door the light was on. People were talking and not being very quiet about it until being shushed by the familiar voice of the matron. I could still hear the whispers, though not as loud.

Whatever. Imma go back to bed.

I love game mechanics making it so I can go to sleep on command.

But I couldn't.

I got a small, green window that appeared before my eyes. You cannot sleep while enemies are nearby.

Oh.

Oh no.

I can't deal with enemies! I'm still a baby for petessake!

This! This isn't good! This is bad! I gotta hide! Oh why didn't I put more points into Agility?

There's people out there that want to kill me! Maybe they're in the orphanage and about to kill the Matron! Not the Matron! She gave me bottles!

But then, I got hit with a wave of clarity. Boy to I wish I hadn't. A crimson wave of light surged through the windows and the room was suddenly filled with crying children. An oppressive weight, sickening in its cruelty seemed to press down on my soul and paralyzing my body. A chill went through my veins and my hair stood up on end.

The Kyuubi was attacking Konoha.

And that is a prime example of why the Naruto universe is a crappy one to live in. I mean it's just terrible. It's also on its way to a golden age. Or it was. The butterfly effect is a %$#$ to everyone, especially me right now.

Because I don't really belong here.

I collapsed to my knees. Unable to breathe as tears started to fall from my eyes, I fell onto my back.

There's no actual way I could survive here. I couldn't even get the Water Chip back to my Vault in Fallout 1. This? This is roleplaying and reality ensues on a whole 'nother level. I'm going to die because I don't know what routes to take because they're all gone. Because I'm here.

It was on the road to world peace, arguably better than our situation back home. But then I arrived. But maybe it's not too late!

I grabbed my blanket, sobbing uncontrollably as the ground beneath me shook and the roar of a horrific beast sounded in the distance, but way to loud in my ears anyway.

Maybe I can get out of here before I do any more damage! You know, just by existing!

Maybe it would be better if I just crawled into a hole and died.

I could barely move at this point, I only say red. Under the light of the door, I thought I saw shadows of beasts play out underneath it. I crawled under my blanket and held the fabric close to my nose.

It wasn't enough simply because air was passing through the blanky just fine, but points for trying! Right? No. It's not good enough. I gotta-

But then, the red light was gone and with it went the oppressive feeling that was cloying at every part of my mind. I shoved the blanket away and gasped for air. I moved away from it as far as I could.

…that was horrible.

I don't like it.

The Matron, elderly lady that she was, burst in the room with the ferocity of the Kool-aide man, taking the door off its hinges and leaving an imprint in the wall as a soothing aura took place and made her seem like a freaking angel from God.

…I just want to go to bed.

Like that, I was out like a light.

A few years have passed since the New Halloween and I was able to come to grips with what happened. That the Kyuubi attacked and I was faced with the overwhelming feeling that I had to commit suicide. For reasons that made sense at the time.

Screw the butterfly effect. We'll see world peace happen butterfly effect or no.

Anyway, I'm adjusted, but the other kids still have nightmares. They've been waking up more often with the 'help I just had something try to kill me help me' scream rather than the 'I want something to eat' scream. Especially prevalent since they've started to adopt a normal sleep schedule.

…now that I think about it, not having their sleep schedule was a thing of game mechanics and made me stand out like a thumb. That…might come to bite me in the rear later. Or not, since I have high luck. Because luck is awesome. Still, something to keep in mind, though.

I was sitting in the corner of the play room, playing with blocks and trying to stack them at impossible angles out of boredom. The other kids were of doing their own thing. Socializing with them has been difficult. They…don't really like to spend time with me for some reason. I think it's because, as we've all learned how to talk, things have a tendency to sound a little harsh or robotic or something. No innate social skills.

Low Charisma is already starting to bite me in the rear. However, I hope I'll be able to simply put points in speech to bypass that little flaw. Hopefully. I mean, it's not that bad right now anyway

The door to the play room and…holy cow. This is the first time I've ever seen him.

Sarutobi Hiruzen. The Hokage. The man we've been learning about since we could learn how to read. Dressed in white robes with a triangle hat. I had theorized that in real life, those robes would look ridiculous. I was completely wrong. They look awesome.

I see why Naruto wants the hat.

Speaking of our number one most unpredictable Ninja, there he was, in front of the Hokage with an enthusiastic smile on his face. Wow. This…huh.

This is an odd feeling. Seeing a character, I always knew to be fictional in the flesh. Not even as a cosplayer, but the real, true blue Uzumaki Naruto. He certainly looked good.

"Here's the Nursery," The Matron put on a smile as she showed in the new kid.

"Thank you Kumiko," The Hokage said to the Matron.

Huh. She does have a name.

"Now Naruto," The Hokage turned. "I'll be back in a few hours. I have some important work to do, so why don't you go socialize and try to make some friends?"

"Okay, Ojisan!" Naruto returned with a happy smile.

With a farewell, The Hokage left without much fanfare.

Whelp, he must've been busy because I think several kids would've given their eyeballs for a chance to meet the Hokage.

Not me since I know I'll meet him a lot when I become a Ninja. Which of course I want to be a Shinobi. That's the point of the game! It's the name of the game for crying out loud! It's the whole point I'm here.

Strange there wasn't much reaction from the other kids. They must not have recognized him.

"Children!" Kumiko called out. "This is Uzumaki Naruto. He's going to be staying with us for a while. Try to make him feel welcome, okay!"

The standard round of 'Hai, Onichaan' since she was basically our Grandmother at this point. Best woman ever. 10/10. With a smile she turned to leave…and I totally caught that smile fading into a frown.

…oh no.

That…oh, that sucks.

Kumiko's going to be prejudiced.

Naruto's gonna need a friend indeed!

I mean…I get it.

The Kyuubi was frankly the worst thing ever to happen to the village. To me. Even worse than dying. That's saying a lot. But, this kid? Blonde, enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky? He's a hero. Why? Because he's keeping it contained so it doesn't murder everything.

I mean I wish the Fourth could've murdered the Fox entirely – well, maybe not since he was apparently mind controlled into his attack. I never read Shippuden, but I did spoil myself until it got too stupid to even do that.

…I'm going to regret not spoiling myself that far.

Anyway, going back to Naruto who is currently bragging that he's friends with the Hokage and the other kids not believing him. He seems to be doing alright. The other kids are hanging onto every word because he's been with the Hokage for so long.

I hang out on the outskirts of the group while he talked all about his Ojisan, who was basically the most powerful Shinobi ever as far as Naruto was concerned. Shame I can't tell him about his Dad yet. I don't want to die again.

Eventually, as kids do, they got bored of hanging onto Naruto's every word. They went off to do other things, play Ninja, go-fish and other things. I stood up to go back to my blocks which had honestly turned into a meditation exercise when I got stopped.

"Hey you," I turned, and there was Naruto looking at me with a smile. "What's your name?

I stopped. So did the world, which grayed out and time had stopped, indicating that the game had paused. A green dialogue box popped open with a statement.

Enter your name.

Family Name:

Given Name:

…

I stared at the screen, blinking. Are you…are you serious?

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE? If I could move in the pause, I would have fallen to the floor, laughing my rear end off while also being more than a little creeped out. Seriously, how? How do I not notice I don't even have a name?

Eventually, I got myself together, still giggling, and started to decide on a name. I've always been fond of the name Daisuke, so I entered that in the given name section. I used to be big into Digimon when I was growing up and Davis, which is what his name was for the English dub, was my favorite character. So, it stuck.

I had no idea what I was going to do for the family name though.

Luckily, there was a question mark next to the Family Name: space, so I pressed that. Yamada…Nakamura…no…Shimoda? Shimoda. Shimoda Daisuke. Daisuke Shimoda. I continued sounding it out in my head, testing it on the proverbial lips.

I like that one. Shimoda Daisuke, I put in and pressed the done button.

"Shimoda Daisuke," I blurted out unexpectedly. I accompanied it with a short bow. "Nice to meet you."

"You too!" He mimicked the bow.

"Ummm…" Okay, what to do? First meeting with the main character. Nervous. Very nervous. "I was going to go play with those blocks over there."

"Okay!" Naruto said. "Can I join you?"

"Sure."

A couple of other kids actually tried to come over to convince Naruto to come play with them instead. He turned them down, continually chatting my ear off about what it was like to be friends with the Hokage.

What sort of bizarre world have I stepped into?

Actually, these kids would all be orphans and wouldn't be conditioned to dislike Naruto because the other kids had parents who knew who Naruto was and disliked them, leading to the kids disliking Naruto for literally no reason.

Not me, though. 'Kids adorable.

"So, how old are you?"

"I'm three!" He said, holding up three fingers. "How about you?"

"Four," I replied, holding up nine fingers.

He laughed. "What? That's not three!"

"Well yeah, but I couldn't leave this hand out of it!" I had a doctorate in Insane Troll Logic. At this point, I think it's as real as everything else I'm going through. "See, if I raised this hand, then the other hand would get mad, so while the hand with four fingers gets to be right, the other hand gets to feel better by getting more fingers!"

Naruto guffawed.

I think it's luck that he thinks that's actually funny.

It occurs to me that if I'm a year older than him, then he and I won't be in the same class. I'll be in Neji, Lee and Tenten's group. Interesting.

That actually makes me feel good, because that gives me more time to level up and grind before I face the nightmare that is the Chunin exam.

Eventually, the Hokage did as promised and returned to check up on Naruto. This time, since everyone actually knew who he was, he got swarmed it was hilarious. Naruto stood up and got all huffy. "Hey, get out of the way! He's my Ojisan! Mooove!"

I actually chuckled at this as Kumiko used…I don't think it was killing intent, so much as it was 'Spanking Intent', but it got all the kids to gangway for Naruto. The Hokage patted Naruto on the head. "How was your day?"

"Great!" Naruto reported. "I made a friend!"

"Did you now?" The Hokage smiled. "Who is it?"

Naruto turned to me and eagerly beckoned me forward. As I came forward, I could actually feel killing intent coming from the other kid's eyes boring in on me. I bowed deep. "Hi, uh. Hokage-dono."

"This is Daisuke!" He smiled. "Hey stand up straight, you don't need to bow so low!"

"It's alright, Naruto," The Hokage replied. "But you can stand up straight."

"Right, uh…" I stood up straight. "It's nice to meet you."

"And you as well, young one," The Hokage smiled.

Wow. Uh…heh. You know, morality debates from my old world aside, standing in the guy's presence? He's the coolest guy in the world. Clearly cares about his village and people in it. Including me.

"So, children!" The Hokage called to everyone. "Gather around, I have a question for everyone!"

The kids did so and Naruto and I sat down.

"So, has anyone here thought about what they want to be when they grow up?" The Hokage asked.

All the hands went up, mine included if to ensure I wasn't the odd man out, with choruses of mememememe! Ringing out. The Hokage pointed at a kid at random. Named Miyamoto, I think it was. He had black hair in a bowl cut, but without the eyebrows, any unintended resemblance was minimal.

"I want to be a Ninja!"

"Hmmmm…" The Hokage said, nodding as if that was a very thoughtful response. It was naturally the one he was looking for. "You want to be a ninja. Who else wants to be a Ninja when they grow up?"

Again, memememememe all around!

"That's good!" The Hokage turned a little serious. "Being a Shinobi is very important. It's Shinobi that defend the village. It's Shinobi that ensures everyone gets to live a safe and happy life. By wanting to be a Ninja, you help everyone you meet here in the village!"

Everyone was hanging on what he said with baited breath.

"So it makes me so proud," He continued. "To see that all of you want to help keep the village safe and I know that each of you will continue to make me proud."

"Now, does anyone know what the will of fire is?"

The will of fire is a philosophy upon which the village was founded upon. It emphas-

"I know, I know!" Naruto had his hand up, bouncing up and down in his seat as he proclaimed his knowledge loudly in my left ear.

"Okay, go ahead Naruto," The Hokage said with a smile.

"The Will of Fire means that everyone in the Village is family," Naruto said. "And everyone with the Will of Fire will love and cherish the village forever!"

…hey, what can you expect from a three-year-old? I'm actually impressed.

"Very good, Naruto!" The Hokage beamed and Naruto plastered a really happy grin on his face. "Yes. The will of fire is the heart of our village. All within it, with the will of fire can stand against any problem, no matter what it is, simply because we are united in love for our village."

And the sermon is being dumbed down for toddlers. Of course. It has to be done.

So while he talked and was very inspirational, I ended up missing most of the actual words he was saying. Helped deal with the nagging feeling that he was setting the kids up around me to become soldiers. Eeeeek.

Naturally, more time passed. Surprisingly, Kumiko was putting in an effort to not be horrible to Naruto, even while the rest of the care takers would rather he didn't exist.

This had the sad effect of pushing the other kids away from him while before they wanted to be his friend thanks to him being Hokage. This makes me sad.

Well, I'M not going to let that stop me! I'll be Naruto's best friend until he ends up on Team 7 and even beyond because…well, he needs better friends than Sasuke turns out.

Wait, can I do anything about that?

…

…nope!

Great, now I'm depressed.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Naruto appeared right in my face and shouted, causing me to screamlikealittlegirl drop to the ground in astonishment.

"Geeze, Naruto!" I said, picking myself up. "You scared me!"

"I got you good, didn't I?" He grinned happily.

"Yes, you sure did," I said wryly. "It's my birthday already?"

"Yup!" Naruto said. "Come on, I got a present for you!"

He took me by the hand and I could do all of nothing against his Jinchūriki strength, he dragged me all the way to the play room where a small table was set up and the freaking Hokage was sitting in one of the chairs.

What.

"Ah," He said, taking his pipe out of his mouth. "Happy birthday, Daisuke."

"But-but-but," I stuttered out.

"Calm down," The Hokage said, causing me to calm down immediately because he's got a jutsu for that. "I had some time and Naruto said he wanted to do something for your birthday. So here I am."

"I-thank you! Thank you, Hokage-dono," I said, bowing and righting myself.

How the heck did I get so lucky to befriend Naruto enough to get Sarutobi to tolerate my presence with one charisma…oh. Right.

9 Luck.

Derp.

"Here's my present for you!" Naruto said, thrusting a piece of paper.

It was a drawing. Crudely drawn, with two characters, one with brown hair and one with blond, labeled Daisuke and Naruto respectively.

You know, I was kind of figuring that I wasn't going to have a lot of friends growing up because of my choice in dump stat. But if I can only have one or two friends in my entire time here?

I lucked out.

"I love it!" I said, giving Naruto a giant bear hug. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Gaah! Daisuke! Can't breathe!" Naruto said, kicking and flailing in my grasp.

"Oh, whoops!" I said, releasing him. "Sorry. I guess I don't know my own strength."

Wait. Have the benefits of having 5 Strength already kicked in? At my young age? Questions for later.

"I'll admit I'm also here for another reason," The Hokage said, standing up with his hands behind his back. "You turned five today, right?"

I nodded rapidly.

"Then you'll be ready to enter the Ninja academy when the next semester starts," The Hokage said with a smile. "You are still planning on attending, aren't you?"

Attending the academy is the whole point of the game. That's where all the stuff to do is. It's also a terrifying prospect because while I haven't seen all of Shippuden, I have seen Madara fight. That, right there, is a very nice tall glass of nope.

But if I play my cards right, I'll be pretty terrifying myself.

Though I haven't seen a single time where my game saved, which is worrisome. If I screw up, I'm not sure I get another do-over.

But I can't not try. I'd never forgive myself.

So I looked up at him, his face seemed…impassive. I gave him a vigorous nod. "Yup! I wanna be the best Ninja ever!"

"Very good," The Hokage said with a happy smile.

"That's too bad because I'm going to be the best Ninja ever!" Naruto said.

A flash of annoyance, then I mentally sighed and let it go. "Well yeah, you're going to be Hokage. But you still need awesome ninja to order around, don't you?"

"Yeah! Let's play Hokage!" Naruto said with a smile.

"Wait a minute Naruto," The Hokage said. "I need to give Daisuke my present."

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said, sitting down on the chair.

The Hokage took out, from the back of his robes, a book. It was small and had a black cover. Taking it in my hand revealed it was leather. I opened it up and…it showed my stat screen. A vault boy with a vault-tech headband walking along in an animated ink drawing. I flipped the page. It was my inventory, then my quest data and map. It was a Pipboy. In book form.

"Naruto told me how much you like to read and write," The Hokage said as I was perusing the book. "So I got you a journal to write down how your days went. If you treat it well, it'll last you for your whole life.

Okay, game did not pause when I opened my Pipboy. Good to know. With the biggest, most genuine smile I could manage, I bowed low. "Thank you so much Hokage-dono."

"You're very welcome Daisuke," The Hokage said. "Now did either of you want cake?"

Heck. Yes.

Okay, so later, after we had cake, the Hokage left and Naruto and I played a long game of Hokage, I was able to look at my book in peace.

Luckily, darkness did nothing about my ability to see the books contents, so I was able to look at my character sheet.

Daisuke Shimoda

HP: 200

Chakra: 75

SPECIAL

Strength: 5

Perception: 5

Endurance: 5

Charisma: 1

Intelligence: 10

Agility: 5

Luck: 9

Skills:

Barter (CHA): 9

Chakra Control(INT): 27

Fuinjustu(INT): 27

Genjutsu(PER): 17

Medicine(INT): 27

Melee Weapons(STR): 17

Ninjutsu(END): 17

Pick Lock(PER): 17

Ranged Weapons(AGI): 17

Sneak(AGI): 17

Speech(CHA): 9

Survival(PER): 17

Taijutsu(END): 17

Perks:

None.

EXP: 100/1000

And that was all there was on my character sheet. Sort of empty, but I was level one. In the longest tutorial in gaming history. At this point, it's a miracle that I'm not crazy. Or maybe I am. Still…I'm concerned about how low my Speech is. That's…I mean, in the games, speech was only used when you were trying to convince people of something or to get them to do something. I think that's why I've been getting so much leeway in combination with my luck stat but…that is really low. I'll have to put points into it at some point.

Not next level up, but soon. Before I hit level 5, definitely.

I flipped the page and that's when the book got started with the manual proper, which gave me a sense of relief.

Hello and welcome! It read. Thank you for choosing to play Shinobi: A Naruto RPG. We're very proud of the work we've put into making the game system part of the world and allowing you to experience life as a Shinobi of Konoha, either good or evil. There are no limits to the choices you will need to make to survive this harsh and unforgiving world of flashy jutsu and shadowy betrayal.

Well, that's not ominous at all.

The book basically went on to talk about things I already knew, telling me that it was an RPG. However, this little note about the game was very interesting. However, due to the circumstances of the game world and how it interacts, some features have not been implemented. Such as a save and load feature. While we fully intend to input these features at a later date, we will likely hold off on such an update until all current play times are finished to avoid crashing the game and taking all of reality with it.

It was also quite terrifying. This game literally has no replay-ability at all. I mean the length of the tutorial kind of clued me into that already but come on! I can't make different choices or anything? Well, on the bright side, it'll be much harder to become a sociopath ala Sakura syndrome.

…wait. I'm in the same universe as her. Huh.

A couple more paragraphs, including one interesting one about the S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats. Each stat gives a flat bonus to skills and physical or mental attributes. However, due to the superhuman world that SHINOBI takes place in, each of these stats also increases in strength the higher level you are. A shinobi with 100 Taijutsu and 5 strength won't be doing as much damage as a Shinobi with 50 Taijutsu and 10 strength. Though the difference in skill will still be obvious. Each stat does give better bonuses as the player levels, except for Luck, which is already overpowered enough.

I can't really argue with that.

As a result, if you picked a dump stat, it will eventually become serviceable through this process, though not until the later levels.

Oh, okay. Whew. That means I won't be almost friendless forever.

Just most of the time. Dang it.

I leafed through the manual some more. Then it started talking about skills. Each skill represents a player's skill and maximum potential in an area. For example, a Shinobi with 50 Ninjutsu can learn a Ninjutsu that requires 75 in Ninjutsu, but will be severely handicapped when attempting to perform that jutsu. A high Chakra Control skill can minimize this, but it won't entirely remove the enhanced chakra cost and won't bring nearly the same results.

Good to know. To be perfectly honest, I think Taijutsu is a good first skill to max out, simply because I'll be using it start to finish. People with weapons have this annoying tendency to be disarmed and I don't want that to happen to me.

Especially not in the literal sense.

Turning some more pages, I came to Perks.

Perks are the secret weapon in every player's arsenal. They allow the player to bend and at higher levels outright break the rules of the game and the setting. Sick of getting knocked back and on your rear by an overzealous Ninjutsu or Taijutsu user? Get the Stone Wall perk and become completely immune to getting knocked back and even gain resistance to melee and Taijutsu damage!

Okay that's awesome. I mean, holy cow! Just sit there and be completely unaffected especially Wind Jutsu's, I imagine. but I'll also have to be careful. I don't want to paint a target on my back until Higher levels, so I can laugh at the opposition as they try to stop me.

…I like this.

After that, there was a giant list of every perk in the game. Things that reduced the chakra cost of Ninjutsu, stone wall…I'm actually getting excited looking at all of this. But I should probably save this for later. Not tired, but I could see a caretaker come in to make sure I'm asleep.

So, bed time!