78 Old World Blues
"So, they agreed that taking you off missions was a good thing," Captain Shizo, the penguin leader of squad 3 began, making a shrugging motion with his flippers. "Who cares?"
It was day-time here in the south pole, the sun hanging high in the sky across the polar ocean that stretched out before me. I was sitting on an ice-shelf, hunched over and holding my head in my hands as I looked out across the horizon with a depressed sigh. "Because I made a judgement call, not a mistake."
The other three members of squad three were performing training maneuvers in the water. Not because they had too, they were technically on leave from the Penguin Empire Army, but because they just enjoyed training together. Masato, the tallest penguin of the group who reminded me of a bowling pin, came up for air. "Was it a bad judgement call?"
"No, it was neither good or bad," I replied as he was dragged back under the water with a gasp of surprise. "It was just a tactical choice that didn't pan out."
"So, it was a bad one." Shizo slowly nodded with a smirk.
"It was not a bad call!"
"It sounds like a bad call."
"Well, it wasn't."
"It looks like a bad call," Shizo continued, heedless of my protests, tapping the tips of his flippers together like he was counting to 1 over and over. "It sounds like a bad call, it had bad results, it was a bad call."
I brought my fist down on the ice and the shelf broke into a thousand pieces, sending me into the water below. As I started sinking below the frozen water, I facepalmed at my gaff.
Here I thought by coming to the poles, I'd actually get some sympathy. Not so lucky, I'm only getting flack for trying to come talk about it. The three other penguins, Misato, Riku and Rookie, all swam at me through the frozen waters and grabbed me with their flippers, stopping me from sinking.
In an instant, I was back on the ice shelf as they catapulted me out of the water. I dried my self off with a jutsu.
"Speaking of bad calls," Shizo smugly poked fun at me. Then he slapped both of his flippers to his side. "But seriously, Shimoda. Could you get to the point? You didn't come all the way to the arctic to whine about Hokage's agreeing that you made a mistake."
I took a frustrated breath. "Well, Hokage number Four asked Hokage number Three if Hokage number Three would've done anything differently. Turns out, he still would've taken me off missions."
Shizo looked thoroughly unimpressed. "Oh, yeah, that's the worst thing ever."
From the water, Masato made a snapping noise with his flippers. "The fiend. He still would've led you to come help us win a war and keep our species alive."
"Getting sympathy from you guys is like getting blood from ice," I complained.
Riku vomited out some…toy. Made of small fish bones like a puzzle box or something. He spun around in the water and it was broken into a thousand pieces. After some hand-signs with his feet beneath the water, the toy was whole again.
"Riku's right," Rookie nodded with a smile. "We're trying to fix the problem so it stops bothering you!"
He had a point and I knew it. I sighed in resignation. "Fine. He also said he'd try to give me missions until I stopped being socially retarded. Basically, until I turned into this."
"So, he said that he learned from his mistakes and would've done things differently in hindsight," Captain Shizo said, the muscles around his beak turning into a frown. "How is that a problem?"
"Because," I struggled to come up with the words. My explanation was lame. "It just is."
"Captain, I think the issue is that Daisuke doesn't want to forgive him," Masato pointed at me with his flipper.
"Ah! Okay, that makes a lot more sense," Shizo nodded happily. "Good work, Masato."
"I'm just doing my job." Masato struck a heroic pose before the other two jumped him and tugged him below the water.
"And Shimoda!" Shizo turned to me. "I'm afraid there really isn't an answer to that. I mean, I'd try to work on forgiving the old man for your own sanity more than anything."
"But if I forgive the old man, my reasons for not being in Konoha shrivel into non-existence," I pointed out petulantly, and folded my arms. "I can't go back there."
"Why don't you want to go back there?" Shizo asked.
"Because I'm trying to make the Hidden Village system obsolete," I answered. "A big social engineering project that all my friends are against because it attacks their entire belief system."
"Oh," Shizo sat down beside me, his feet sticking out from under him like drumsticks. "Sounds to me like you need new friends."
"I think they'd all come around eventually," I hesitantly replied.
"If they do, great," Shizo said, clapping his flippers together. "But until they do, they're going to be pulling against the direction that you're trying to take your life in."
Rookie surfaced. "That sounds toxic."
"That's because it is, Rookie," Shizo replied, folding his flippers behind his back. "Good answer!"
"Thank you, Captain!" Rookie said with a smile before he disappeared beneath the waves, swimming away from the two black blurs of his teammates.
"So, Daisuke. Buddy. Friend," Shizo said, placing a flipper on my back. "You know the Empire's got you're back the entire way, us especially, but you need more human friends. So, among your old circles, is there anyone that would support you on this mission that you've found yourself on?"
Anko, probably. Sasuke, after I told him the truth about the Massacre. But besides that? "A couple."
"And how's things going with the Samurai?" Shizo asked with a grin.
"They've made a few overtures for me to join them." I shrugged. "But given how dedicated to their isolation, they won't be able to make any solid change on the Elemental nations for another half a century and I can't convince them in good faith to abandon it after their nation was decimated by the Kaiju."
"Do you still have it's scroll orbiting the world?" Masato had come up for air, again, with a curious expression on his face.
"Masato, come join us on the surface for a minute," Shizo offered, gesturing for him to hop on land.
"Yes, Captain," Masato nodded and hopped on board the ice.
"Oi! We done with maneuvers?" Rookie had also surfaced with an inquisitive expression.
"We're taking five so we can talk to Daisuke properly," Shizo explained, gesturing for him and Riku, who surfaced as well, to come up to the surface. They did so.
"To answer your question, yes," I whipped up a hologram with shine-release to give a visual representation of where the giant box I had placed was in orbit. "As you can see, it's hovering over the eastern continent."
You could actually see it from the ground as a tiny, tiny black dot in the sky.
"Remarkable." Masato was staring at the hologram with wonder.
"Anyway, you can't convince them to abandon isolationism because…?" Shizo asked, the muscles around his eye-socket raising to give his question extra inquisitiveness.
"Because the whole idea is for them to be able to stand on their own two feet without me being there to baby-sit constantly," I leaned back and popped my arms as I stretched them out over my head. "Look, I know the idea of world peace is a pipe dream. There's always going to be skirmishes, conflict, whatever. But if I can stop the cycle of world wars? The ones with hundreds of thousands if not millions in casualties that happen every generation? I'll be happy."
"How long do you think that's going to take?" Shizo asked.
I thought it over and my shoulders sunk. "It will take another generation for this idea of Peace through Strength to be get around and then another few generations for it to be accepted."
Masato started nodding. "And what will happen in the mean time as the status quo is disrupted?"
Well, in my old world, the giant wars kind of stopped when my old country assumed a 'Global Police Men' role. Before then, they had to earn their independence, dissolve slavery, then save the world from tyranny. Twice. At least, I think that's how it went down.
Rookie made to say something, but Masato slapped the underside of his beak shut so I could keep thinking.
Oh, wait. The names of the Nukes were Fat Man and Little Boy. The name Big Boy was in error. Aw, man. Do I have to change the name of my Jutsu? I mean…nah. It doesn't really matter, it's not like I'm ever going to use it.
But in order to earn their independence, abolish slavery… to do those things they…ah, no.
"War," I replied, my shoulders slumping. "Lots, and lots of war. There's going to be uprisings. If Ninshū spreads, alongside Jutsu, then the civilians are going to look at the injustices that they feel like they've been suffering. Places like the Suna and Kiri are ripe for a civilian uprising to depose of the Kage and Daimyo while they set up new forms of government that may or may not fail."
Masato was nodding. Rookie was bracing his beak on his flipper. Riku was playing with that bone puzzle box.
"Then there's the fact that the Hidden Villages will subsidize rebellions in rival countries to destabilize the regions and then the whole world really will be at war, not just the main Hidden Villages," I was rubbing my forehead in irritation. I groaned at my own stupidity. "I'm an idiot."
"No, you're inexperienced," Shizo replied.
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Inexperience is fixable, idiocy is not," Masato answered quickly.
"Thanks, Masato." I was being partly sarcastic.
"Look, revolution doesn't come cheap, and it's complicated," Shizo said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It kind of was, once you started to think about it. "You can't just set the iceberg in motion and forget about it – the sun will melt it and then you're shark bait."
But I want to go home now. The whole point of this revolution business, bringing people back from the dead and spreading knowledge as freely as I can is so that I can tell myself that I left the place better than I found it.
Intelligence Check Fai-
Shut.
Up.
Game.
"Look, I think if I just knew how to govern, I might actually have a better idea of how to pull this off bloodlessly," I replied with a frown. "Or, at least with less blood. You know."
"Well, why don't you ask the Emperor?" Rookie asked, still grinning. "The entire Empire owes you, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to teach you about how to run a governance."
"There's also the Shogun," Masato suggested. "He might give advice much more applicable to humans than penguins in some situations."
"I've floated that idea before," I replied. "It's a good one. But I didn't think of the Emperor, which is a brilliant idea! Thanks, Shoraku."
Yeah, I remembered Rookie's real name. I felt like using it since he gave me a fantastic idea, even if the others just call him rookie.
"You're welcome, Daisuke," Rookie replied happily as I stood up.
Riku then started grunting with an urgent look on his face, spitting up a calendar. Made of seal-leather parchment back from before the war, unless my suspicions that random skirmishes still happened were correct. He started randomly filling in the days.
"Oh, good point, Riku," Shizo said with a nod. "Daisuke, you need something to fill your time with."
"Like what?" I asked, blinking.
"He's saying you should get a hobby," Masato clarified.
"I have a hobby," I replied with a frown.
"And what's that?" Shizo asked.
"I play the guitar," I replied.
"Did you bring it?" Rookie asked eagerly.
"No," I said.
"How much free time do you have?" Masato asked disbelievingly.
I didn't answer immediately. "A lot."
"And you play the guitar all that time?" Shizo asked.
"…no?"
"Daisuke," Shizo said, placing both flippers on my shoulders.
"Yeah?"
"You need another hobby."
"I guess I do," I said with a frown. "Like learning how to run a country? Or several?"
"I mean, if that's what you'd do for fun, sure," Masato said with a chuckle. "But I doubt it."
He's right.
"Okay, I'll think of something," I nodded. "Thanks, guys. I guess I'll go talk to the Emperor now?"
"See ya, Daisuke!" Rookie bade farewell with a wave of his flipper.
"Hey, Daisuke," Shizo began. "Before you go, are you sure you don't want to join us for underwater maneuvers? No sharks in the water, I swear."
I looked at the ocean.
It was all water. Lots and lots of water, where anything could be swimming right now. From sharks, to giant squids to horrific eldritch abominations that sleep beneath the surface, waiting to consume all life once they awaken.
"No thank you, Captain," I said diplomatically. "Perhaps another time?"
"Alright, see you later," Captain Shizo replied, and his team jumped into the water as a unit.
I am not proud of my aquaphobia. I'll go into it if I had too, but if I have the choice?
Yeah.
The Emperor's Palace had been done up considerably since I had been here last. What was once just an iceberg was now expanded upon with a complex web of slides and tunnels to assist those going in and out with getting to the palace and whatever floor they wanted to go too.
…I wonder which one of those leads to Danjuro?
Sure, I was told that speaking to him would be a one-time affair but I want a talk to him again. It was one of the few times in my life where things just became clear and it came without a good, long look into the abyss.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I entered the palace through the main entrance. The path to the Emperor was clear, oddly enough, which meant that either this was a slow day or that he ran a very tight ship. Probably both.
Walking down the aisle toward the giant pool that was the Emperor penguins' throne. Suddenly, the entire palace erupted with cheers from the general populace. I waved, bashfully, at all the admirers.
He obviously took notice my approach. The giant Penguin boss that was the God Emperor of Penguin-kind reached up to fifty feet in height looked down upon me with a benevolent smile. "Ah, Shimoda-kun! It is good to see you once again. How have you been?"
Technically, it's just Emperor, but I can't get Warhammer 40k out of my head whenever I talk to him.
…it is 40, right?
Crap.
"I've been well, thank you for asking, Emperor-sama," I replied with a bow. "How's the Empire?"
"Much better since we were able to negotiate the return of our stolen lands," The Emperor replied. "The Sharks and Sea Lion's endured such heavy losses, the welcomed the chance to retreat and consolidate their forces behind the guise of good will."
"I'm very glad to hear that," I replied. "The first time I came here, you guys all looked…well, it's good that you guys actually have territories you can spread out too."
I knew that mentioning what they looked like before I came to help them might've been a bad idea, but I still went ahead before I caught my out of control tongue.
"Yes, we were at the end of our ropes," The Emperor agreed. "Now, what may I assist you with, Shimoda-kun?"
"Well," I started, taking a breath. "I need a favor."
"You may not summon me more than once a year," The Emperor replied automatically.
"That's not it."
"You may not speak to the Elder again."
"That's not it, either," I replied as flatly as he was with both of those rebuffs. "Incidentally, why can't I speak to the Elder again?"
"Because most of their time is spend in deep meditation and precognitive trances," The Emperor answered. "It's not that we don't like you, it's that the only reason you were able to speak to one in the first place is because he woke himself up and asked to speak with you."
I do not know what to think about that.
"And he woke himself because I was going to be your clan's summoner?" I asked.
"Precisely," The Emperor nodded. "Now, if he were to wake himself again, or another did, and asked to speak with you, we would be sure to let you know. But unless that happens, I'm afraid my flippers are frozen. But what did you need?"
"Emperor-sama, I have found myself in need of learning how to run a government," I answered. "I was hoping for some guidance."
The Emperor perked up immediately. "Do you speak truly?"
"I do." I nodded.
"How much time do you have?" The Emperor asked.
"I'm not with Konoha anymore," I answered. "The Hokage and I had some differences, let's leave it at that."
I'm still mad at him, even if I guess I really shouldn't be.
"Is it because of us?" The Emperor asked with narrowed eyes.
"No, it's got nothing to do with the Penguin Empire." I shook my head. "The Hokage and I had some differences, that's all."
"Very well!" The Emperor decided not to press the issue. Thank you. "I shall take you under my tutelage. Follow me, I have an office where we can discuss things in greater detail."
I'm starting to think that maybe the Penguins had a point.
My office felt warm in comparison to the arctic ice and water that I'd been in for the past few hours. I was sitting at my desk, looking out through the window over the empty vault. Beyond idle temptations to make a computer of some kind so I could sit down and actually type my notes out like I used too, I took this moment to contemplate.
The revolution that I want to have happen will be bloody, unless someone, very publicly, stops all the aggression and wars in a show of power that has the entire elemental nations reeling. That would act as an accelerant and allow me to put whatever reforms I wanted in, making the adjustment period take one or two generations at least.
But I have neither the desire to assume direct control nor the inclination to wait an entire generation or two for the changes I want to make to take place. I want to go home now.
Which means that, for my intents and purposes, improving the Elemental Nations and Going Home…are mutually exclusive. I want to go home now, before I spent too much time here in the Elemental Nations, alone and growing crazier by the second.
But I can't go home now. Because the game is being stupid.
The Emperor's teaching session, which I'll be going back too, was insanely informative, even if it did take some thought on how to adapt the lessons from penguins to humans. I was definitely better informed if I chose to…stay in the Elemental Nations to continue my world-fixing agenda.
But let's be honest, Naruto (the manga) probably had a good ending so it stands to reason that it could still have a good ending because of how much better prepared Naruto is, since he got Shadow Clones so early. I'm just going to do a few things, then, to finish planting the seeds of things changing and then I'll assault the Akatsuki's headquarters.
Like what?
I mean, if I hand the Land of Iron more stuff, such as Seals, they'll become a monster nation in a few generations. Then Ninshū, which is basically their religion will get circulated just through cultural osmosis and then it'll be world peace forever…if only because people would be insanely good at recognizing threats and then dealing with them in a very timely and preventative manner.
Which will either mean talk-no-jutsu or execution, depending on how bad it is.
But then there's the big question that's starting to bug me. Really, really bug me. Like, a lot.
I don't like the question, though.
The question leads me down into the abyss.
Not the question, but why am I such a scared little baby all the time?
Seriously. I swear. My biggest problem is that I hate confronting my problems and issues. I'm a denial freak. Something comes along that proves I made a mistake? I twist myself into a million knots to justify it being that way. Something happens that makes me uncomfortable, bust out the mental gymnastics. Someone smears the fact that I lost everything in my old life in my face? I project my own anger onto him so I don't have to try to forgive him.
Because if I do that, then what am I left with?
That he was right?
That I've regressed back to childhood and I'll never get what I had back again?
That I'm a pathetic little man-child who insists that he's an adult without being able to control his own temper?
Starting to lose it again. Take a deep breath, let it out. Deep breath, in and out.
I'm so tired.
Not physically. Mentally, emotionally…spiritually. I can't keep this up. I just want to go home, to my real home and relax. Assuming that the soul the Shinigami gave isn't able to breech the dimensional walls in spite of their best efforts, the only way I could do that with the resources available to me right now is if I rewound the past thirteen years completely and then dodged that truck while I was driving.
But then what?
I wouldn't forget what happened. I'd remember. If anything, I've forgotten things from my old world, like how to drive a car, what my address was, my Dad's name. Whether I had two or three sisters or brothers.
My fist came down on my desk and it splintered down the center.
Again, with the temper. I've broken so many desks since I left Konoha. Even before then I was putting holes in the walls at my apartment when I got mad about something. I really am a Psychopathic Man-Child. Incapable of the most basic step of self-control, controlling one's temper.
But if I were to go back to Konoha, would I even be able to relate to them? Would I be able to relate to Naruto, whose dream and goal in life is to become Hokage? Could I actually relate to anyone from Konoha?
I could ask that question about my family once I returned home.
My hands just fell into my lap, having gone numb alongside my legs.
The air within my office was circulating gently through the room, from one ventilation duct to the other.
My desk, in two large pieces laid at my feet. The papers that I had been writing, the pencils and pens had scattered all over the floor.
The vault, with its metal walls having provided me with refuge from a world I hated now only seemed lifeless and bare.
…
1000 rads will still kill me, right?
Having infinite hitpoints isn't immunity to death, so probably.
Quest Accepted: Reasons to Live.
Get a New Hobby (0/1).
Get a Girlfriend (0/1).
Learn Ninshū.
Accept your First Death.
Do not commit suicide.
Really, game?
Really.
Now, after all this time of being an impartial judge of my status as a failure at life you're now concerned about my well-being. For some impossible to fathom reason, you've finally developed empathy. Except, no you didn't. You're an impartial system of ones and zeroes put in place to ruin my life by eviscerating my ability to think, my ability to practice and learn, and my free will.
Since this whole game is technically a beta, I know for a fact that there's someone pulling the strings and you know what else? I know they're planning on doing it again! They're going to repeat what happened to me to however countless many other people when this game moves out of beta and into the main version.
…and I don't know how to stop it.
If I even can.
So, you know what, game?
I've got an idea.
I'm going to go back in time. See if I can hop dimensions when I've travelled back far enough and then, you know what, game? I'm going to look the other driver in the face and tell him exactly what I think of him and his driving skills, what he put me through and then see if I can break through the Paradox Protection measures to kill him.
Or her. It could be a woman and I'm an equal opportunity vengeance machine here.
First thing to do is leave the vault, and sit on top of the waterfall.
Well, I didn't sit on top of the waterfall, the sound of it falling to the river below being surprisingly soothing after the silence of the vault. I sat on top of Madara's head, falling into a meditative pose.
Okay.
88 Miles per Hour – In Reverse.
I think this is the first time a jutsu has even made me so much as tingle since I ascended. But when I was done, the valley was as quiet as ever. Then, it was time to cast my dimensional travel spell, one that would hopefully work now.
Into the Breach.
The world seemed to warp at the sides, crystallizing into a thousand different perspectives like I was looking at the world through crystal shards. The jutsu pulled me through a black hole in the air itself that looked wrong to be there.
But then, I wasn't standing on Madara's head anymore.
No.
I was standing in the desert plains. All around me, weeds and bushes sprang up out the ground. Ahead of me was the freeway, it's old and grey tarmac only visible beneath the sharp glare of headlights coming from a car.
Down to the left, I looked and saw what I was looking for.
Sharp red lights cut through the dark night in front of a fiery wreck. Flames coated the two vehicles within it, a brown 2000 Cadillac Deville and a red pickup truck that I didn't know the make or model of.
I couldn't breathe.
Everything was frozen and begging me to run. Get away from this awful sight, get away from this memory. Back away from the abyss lest you fall into it.
But I do not run.
I will not run.
Not from this.
Never again.
It took all of the strength that I possessed to finally take a step. Then another. Slowly and with determination, I walked toward the scene of my death.
The front of my Cadillac was smashed in completely and it had shot burning oil all across the road. I found myself stopped when I approached the driver-side window. My legs stopped functioning again.
I don't want to see this.
Really, I don't.
I should turn back.
Why am I such a coward?
What, within the poisoned recesses of my mind, is so adamant that I turn and run? What is the thing that would stop me from confronting this? What is this?
Take a step forward.
Take another.
Now. Turn.
My heart stopped.
There, in the driver's seat, was me. Dressed in my old work uniform, a green button-up shirt and baseball cap, jeans and boots. My skull had been pierced through by a shard of the windshield that was crimson red with blood and I could see that the airbag had been punctured as well, stopping…me from hitting the wheel and breaking my ribcage. It was likely that my lungs had been punctured through by broken ribs, if not my heart.
…
…
…
I can't breathe.
…
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
I need to get out of here! NOW!
NO!
…no.
No, no, no.
I took a breath and started breathing normally.
There will be no more running. I will look at this. I will see this for what it is.
I died.
That's all there is too it.
I died and here is my corpse.
The only thing I had wanted to earn a living as an author. I wanted to tell stories and entertain people. I loved entertaining people. I was working this stupid job because I needed money to save up and then finally move out of my parent's basement since I hated it so much down there.
But all that went up in smoke. I was reincarnated into a death world…or at least, into the very worst aspects of the new world I was in. My world could've been just as cruel in places, perhaps even crueler than the Elemental Nations. But it was my home.
Was it, though?
It was my home. It was…his home. In the infinite timelines that happened throughout reality, it's still his home in the grand majority of them. But mine? Was it still mine?
The me in the front seat of this car, well, he was overweight. He had come off of a mission to spread the Word of God as he knew it just a few years prior. He had seen people change for the better and people react with nothing but hostility to him. He had never killed anyone. He was a little over-weight.
Then there's me, someone who spent the majority of his life being a murder machine begging to be unleashed. Who deliberately sacrificed his social understanding for my own personal good fortune. Someone who has killed, even if it was either in self defense or of people who arguably deserved it. I was now going insane trying to reconcile two different people, the person I wanted to be and the person I was.
…because…I'm not you anymore.
I miss being you. I miss your innocence, the way you tried to be happy, how your only concern was trying to entertain people, any people with stories that you wrote. I miss how earnest you were in trying to make people happy. I miss the ability to look at life through rose-tinted glasses.
As I found myself trapped with my thoughts, I slid against the car onto the pavement, my white lab-coat trailing around my legs. Again, tears were welling up in my eyes and I partially felt like a complete baby because I cry way, way too much.
More evidence to me being a child, I suppose.
As if there wasn't enough.
My eyes went to the right, and I found myself gazing at the red truck. A large vehicle with large, but well-worn tires. It was filthy, looked like it traveled almost exclusively on dirt roads. My eyes felt like they should've been tinged with red as I remembered the other reason I was here.
I stood up, walking around the truck, taking only the briefest of glances at the long, black tire tracks left behind the road. I passed the trailer and came to the driver side window.
The driver was an old man, that reminded me of my grandfather. His eyes were shut and he was hunched over the wheel as much as his obese weight would allow him to be. The window was cracked, indicating that the impact of my car had forced him to hit his head.
But the man was dead and by my eyes, had actually been dead for several minutes longer than I had been. His fingers looked like they had been clutching at his chest in a death-gripped panic, so likely heart failure.
The only reason this happened was because the other driver had suffered a heart attack.
I hit my head on the truck frame. Then again, and again, and again.
All the fire and brimstone that had filled my soul had evaporated, being replaced only with an emptiness that it was said vengeance only left after it had taken its due.
You know, I can't honestly count the number of times I've seen quests for justice go wrong because the guilty party already had justice exacted on them.
Yujiro said that, when I told him about how I wanted to get justice for Satoru by exacting it on his parents. I didn't know how right he was. I couldn't have known how right he was.
My life's a joke.
I'm a joke.
I've got the power of a god and all I do is throw temper tantrums and run from my problems.
Can I change?
Well, I hope.
That's all I can do.
But…buddy? I'm sorry you died and I'm sorry that I was so angry at you for so long, over something you couldn't control. I'm sorry for letting it sit and fester in the back of my head for all this time. I hope that we might be able to talk someday in Paradise. Assuming, you know, that I'll go to Paradise when I die instead of the Pure World.
Maybe I could switch between the two?
Whatever.
The only thing that matters is that I'm not the guy who died here at this car wreck anymore and because of that, I don't have a place here anymore. Even just heading to my old house and seeing my family would be weird, because, again, I don't have a place here and I'm not the son or brother that they'd like to bring back anyway.
My place, for good or ill, is the Elemental Nations and it's there that I think I'm meant to stay. Sure, the political landscape is pure toxic waste in a way that would make people think its fiction…and here, it is, but it's also got some amazing potential that I could help them realize.
...
Why do I suddenly feel lighter?
Quest Updated: Reasons to Live.
Completed: Accept your First Death.
Oh.
Huh.
I guess I have, haven't I?
This is me, then. I'm Shimoda Daisuke, thirteen-year-old reincarnate with a lot of memories of his past life. I'm a video game character with an RPG system that's been adapted to a Manga and Anime setting that desperately needs balance changes. I like fighting, playing guitar, inventing jutsu, and exploring the world. I'm also an immortal god and because of my old memories, I would prefer to date women who are adults. Prefer. But again, I'm only thirteen and there are plenty of girls my age that I wouldn't mind asking out.
That is who I am.
So, time to head back to the Valley of the End.
Into the Breach.
Again, that portal just looks wrong.
Return to the Present.
Back at the Valley of the End and for some reason, the air smells fresher. The sunlight seemed brighter, and cheerier. Blue skies and scant clouds that brought a smile to my face.
…I can see clearly now, the rain has gone…
There was a song in my head, from the old world and this time it didn't depress me.
So, there's some things I want to do.
You know whose company I've been craving and wanting to spend time around?
Anko.
I wanna go see how she's doing. I've missed her jokes and upbeat personality, as well as the strict professionalism and judgment that she has when she's on a mission. Being her partner in crime was refreshing, though it was a shame I was so bogged down in the guilt and homesickness that I couldn't see it.
Something tells me that her opinion on me might've changed a little bit. Maybe she'll be interested in a date? Well, like I said before, I don't want to tempt her into hebephilia but if she's already feeling it, who better to reciprocate that than me, someone who knows what its like to be an adult, even if I'm not really one anymore.
And if she's not interested, that's okay. There are other girls.
Other than that, what do I want to do?
You know the soul Shinigami gave me?
I get the feeling that Shinigami wants me to bring this particular soul back from the dead and given its incomplete nature, I imagine that it's been bugging him that its not a whole soul. Also, it's a woman.
So maybe she might be interested in a date? I mean, even if Anko's okay with it, I don't want to be exclusive with anyone just yet, I've got an eternity ahead of me to find the right girl. Or at least one that I connect with super well.
…just to be sure, am I suddenly okay with dates because a quest said I needed to get a girlfriend?
Probably.
I let out a breath in dismay.
…
It's okay.
Breaking the game-system's hold on is going to take time. Besides, interaction with the opposite sex is healthy for heterosexual people like myself.
What next?
Well, there's something I always wanted to do. I wanted to go to the Land of Water, build that bridge for Tazuna…is that his name? I think it is, so Naruto isn't stuck going there and facing Zabuza and Haku for his first C-rank mission.
Let's do that first, just because I don't know how much time I have before Tazuna leaves for Konoha. Then, who knows? Go see Anko, see how she's doing, then prepare to assault the Akatsuki's base to get the parts of this soul it needs?
…
Anything else?
Just another memory from the old world, one that actually comes from Fallout. From an expansion to New Vegas, to be specific. I hated that one in particular and now…I think I see why.
There is an expression in the Wasteland: "Old World Blues". It refers to those so obsessed with the past they can't see the present, much less the future, for what it is. They stare into what was, eyes like pilot lights, guttering and spent, as the realities of their world continue on around them.
For me, however, Old World blues has taken on a new meaning. Where once it was a form of sadness, nostalgia, it became an expression describing the potential for the future.
