Chapter 1: Layla's Last Reminisce

Helen of Troy's charm made launch a thousand ships, destroyed a city and lost hundreds of heroes. For a poetic Dante, his eternal passion to the woman who first ignited his heart was that docile Beatrice to be reborn in his one of the masterpiece, Paradiso.

Every woman's greed was to be flocked by men with beautiful faces and every woman's dream was to be loved even after her death. Yet to inauspicious women who were cursed for their unsightliness, their only dream was to be loved for who they are and were.

…and for a phantom like Layla Rodriguez, her dream is to be seen and be loved like a normal person. Yet she knew, her chance had been buried six-feet under for she let go the man who saw her very soul.

In a certain room, Layla lies in a white bed as she suffers from heavy breathing. She couldn't think anything else except the fact that this will be her last day. Yet, the people around her look at her with sadness, loneliness and pity. She knew she was cold and detached yet people around her, bawled like a kid.

She closed her eyes and sighed silently. She never expected that this moment will come. The moment where she will close her eyes for good and not waking up. She may be loved sleeping, but this is not what she wanted.

Suddenly, a memory flashed in her mind. It made her smiled bitterly. 'If this was her last day then that day was her last chance. I wasted such beautiful moment... in such beautiful timing and a beautiful day.'

The memory she, once, never thought she will remember. That day was the day to celebrate—celebration after sleepless nights in college. They were preparing to go home when suddenly, she whimsically wanted to witness the sunset… the orange light once go down to the deep ocean, it shall be replaced by the cold starry night.

She ran upstairs towards the rooftop and found herself a spot. She sat down in a lone bench and watch the orange light being swallowed by the deep ocean...

metaphorically. She felt the breeze coming from the sea, embraced her like an infant caressed by her mother.

She never remembered what she was thinking that day but when she heard that voice calling her name, it made her heart skipped a beat. It was in panic. The cold and detached her, the person who never felt anything…felt something.

…if it's him.

She was confused and lost.

And she knows no one can answer her question… but him.

"Hey!" Surprised, she turned around thinking it was only her imagination but a camera, suddenly flashed which made her stunned. She was astounded and unable to recover when he blurted, "Nice!" which made her return to the reality.

She looked at the guy who was enjoying looking pictures in his camera. She just watched him silently until he turned his attention towards her. "Layla, what are you doing here?" he asked.

Whenever she heard his voice, it makes her heart beats abnormally. Her temperature rises and even looking at him, making her throat dry. Watching him was like watching a masterpiece—something that sparked her unmoving emotions. It took him a moment to notice her long pause and called her name once again.

"Watching sunset." She finally answered. She turned around and went back watching the sunset to escape from her sudden unexplained illness she suffered for years. Even though, her eyes was on the landscape, her attention—her other senses are towards his movement. Every tapping fingers, rustling his hair—all little yet big movements. He was the red button of this unexplained, uncomfortable feelings.

"This is the last day." He said. She heard his light steps walking towards her. He took the liberty to sit beside her. The silent girl stiffened and became conscious to every actions she made.

She nodded.

"Ahhh…" there was a glint of regret in his voice as he took a glanced at the stiffened girl. "In the end, I never made you laugh." She glanced at him and saw his bitter smile.

What does he mean? She asked herself in confusion. She played her fingers and tried to think even more but she cannot produce a suitable answer…for such an easy question. She knew in this area, she was clueless and ignorant.

It was long silence. Her confusion and his regret collided in the deep silence.

Speak. Speak. Speak, Layla. Speak to him. Do not be afraid. "We are going home." He said.

"After this, we won't be seeing each other again."

"Graduation." She said. She answered pointing out the possibility of seeing each other again.

He laughed. He laughed hopelessly. "Yes, of course. Graduation but we won't have time to talk like this."

She did not answer. Her heart beats in an abnormal speed yet she suppressed her fear and tried to calm herself down. Pushing her brain to speak—to talk to him even if it is nonsense. For her, the man beside her was the man who gave her unexplainable feelings. Something she can't remove, eradicate and ignore. She wants to crush the feelings, ignore him. Unfortunately, she can't help but taking one step forward, one word to become closer and eyes that glanced to that magnetic charm.

She can't help herself but wanting to be with him… wanting to embrace him… wanting to savour that plump, soft lips…wanting to look at his eyes… hold his hand… and stay with him. What's with me? Why am I thinking like this?

"Hey, we need to go after fifteen minutes. Did you packed your things already?" he asked as he watched the unmoving woman. She took a glance on him and realized he was not the funny guy. He was not the funny guy who tried to be close with him, back then. He was not the funny guy who, once, joked around and involved her in his messy world.

He was not the funny guy anymore. He looked like the gloomy guy whose life had been crushed in several million pieces… a gloomy guy who does not know what to do next after this day.

She sighed, silently. She was always watching him…after that day. She can't help to peek and check him out. He was always smiling, laughing with his friends until she, sometimes, see his smile. He knew, he lost his motivation.

Those days, knowing that he was not the same person anymore. She was scared and realized she lost her chance. However…

…in her very heart, in her heart that spoke a thousand words, she wanted to say the words to him…the same words she'd like to hear again from him.

Stay! I want to talk to you! I want to hear your voice, your corny jokes, your cheesy lines. Stay! Because I love you! I want to stay by your side. I really love you... I love you so much that it's hard to breathe when I can't see you, hear your voice.

Alas, her kept feelings, those unspoken words never formed into words for him to hear. He just stared at her…waiting. Waiting for her words…

"It's time for me to stop." He smiled sadly. "I am only bothering you." He turned around and started walking away from her. "Let's go." His words were sad. Sadder than every breakup song you hear in a radio… sadder than a person who's begging to be loved.

Her throat was, indeed, dry. She was speechless. She was unable to cry… she had no rights to cry.

"Goodbye, Layla…"

**

It was indeed a goodbye, Gion. It was…

Beep—Beep—Beep—

The sound of the vital signs monitor rang loudly enough to be heard in the midst of the crying crowd yet the heartbeat of Layla's heart stopped as her eyes closed silently.

Layla Rodriguez. 28 years old. Died on 6:23 p.m., April 20, 2025 at St. Florence Memorial Hospital. Cause of death: Stage 3, Ovarian Cancer.