36 Chapter Thirty Six

In the guest room of the Zhou household, a girl dressed in a stylish loose sweater that was so big on her it resembled a dress sat on top of a cream-colored bed playing with the stained soggy pages of a textbook. Her expression was set into a disinterested state but her fingers were carefully handling the wet fragile pages so one could tell she was treating the damaged books like treasures. Perhaps they did not look like it to others, but to her, she knew rather well they were his life. The texts were illegible and some pages had already long torn off and were missing pieces as if they had been purposely pulled apart. The other book was in a similar shape and she could even see the faint outline of a footprint on one of the sections.

She purses her lips and crosses her legs revealing a pair of shorts underneath her large sweater that was not visible till now showing off her thin snow colored legs. Turning to look behind her she could still hear the shower running and could even see the steam coming out from underneath the doorframe. "....Stupid." She mutters the insult with a roll of her eyes and closes the textbook no longer interested in inspecting the damage. Pulling out her phone Hua Fan sent a text to Shuang Hui Ning to help replace the young man's belongings when she heard the sound of the water being turned off.

She tosses the phone onto the bed and somewhat impatiently waited for the person inside the bathroom to get dressed and come out. A few minutes later Liang Zhong Zemin exits the bathroom in a pair of sweats and a simple white tee. His eyes were puffy looking but there was a hard steel-like glint in them that wasn't there before today. She did not make fun of him but instead complains a bit about his shower time feigning annoyance. "You took so long to shower, one would suspect you were having a lovely bubble bath instead of a shower."

Zhong Zemin was not in the mood to argue with her and only gave her a listless look in return before unceremoniously laying on top of the bed she sat on almost bouncing Hua Fan off. She scowls and hurriedly steadies herself before she really did fall off the bed. "I'm talking to you! How dare you ignore me? Do you know how much trouble you would get into if I had fallen off the bed and got hurt?!" "I am studying to be a doctor even if you got hurt you would be in no danger since I am here." His response was cold and short with a hint of a snort at her over-exaggeration. Hua Fan rose a brow at his bold reply, "Are you crazy? Don't tell me you have forgotten who I am after only a few days apart." Zhong Zemin didn't say anything back this time and only stares at the top of his bed in gloomy silence.

She frowns at him and felt rather uneasy with his silence. For some odd reason, it irritated her and made her restless. "You actually dare to talk back to me after enduring for so long, have you been driven mad? Not long ago even if I scolded you and complained endlessly you would endure and pretend to be a noble scholar. You are not afraid of my grandfather and me anymore?" The young man still kept a stubborn silence but she saw the stiffening of his shoulders so Hua Fan continues to push him a bit more. She snorts at him and turns away to play with her necklace, if he wants to see me leave angrily then he will have to try better than that. Currently, Hua Fan knew she could not leave him alone to brood, or else he would never truly express his feelings out loud so she could help him. If she took action before he says anything he would only grow restless and annoyed by her meddling. Right now, she was waiting for him to give her the right to meddle.

Her eyes wander over to his still-wet hair and she purses her lips at him while sneering. "Hey, you will catch a cold if you leave your hair wet like that. I thought you are supposed to be a medical student, not a slob." Zhong Zemin finally turns his gaze to the stubborn haughty girl sitting by his side as if this was her room and not his. There was an irritated glint in his eyes that clearly told her to get out but Hua Fan like the first time they met continued to meet his fierce glare with a stubborn one of her own. ".....There is no dryer in the bathroom." He gave in after seeing she was truly not going to leave him alone and sighed in an exasperated manner before looking away again. Hua Fan saw he was finally not being so stubborn and smiled smugly, Zhong Zemin pretends to not see her complacent look. "I will call a maid up, you can borrow mine." "What color is it?"

Hua Fan lies without batting an eye, "White." He finally cracked a smile at the ceiling after catching her lie immediately even though she could see he was still upset. "It's a girly color isn't it?" The girl blinks at him and her lip curls up mischievously as well. "It is not, would I really play such a childish prank on you?" "Then what is wrong with it?" "Nothing is wrong with it." "If nothing was wrong with it then you would have never offered it to me." She doesn't hide her bad intentions "Brother Liang are you saying that I, Zhou Hua Fan, would find amusement in making a boy older than me use a glitter-covered dryer?" His mouth helplessly let out a small bark of laughter. Hua Fan's heart eases seeing the darkness in his eyes lighting up and the irritating scratching at her heart ceases for the moment.

"So there was something really wrong with it after all." The young man sat up and sent her a half-tired smile not on as guard as he was moments ago in her presence. "Miss Zhou is as direct and scheming as ever." "Mmn." She hums lightly as the smile falls from her face just like his did and the room falls back into silence. But unlike the one earlier this one was a bit more, peaceful. Zhong Zemin sighs and gave a bitter smile while staring at the end of the bed frame. "You may have guessed already, you won your bet. Will you be celebrating your victory?" The girl did not nod or say no, she just silently watches him as if waiting for him to finish. There was not a single bit of happiness or smug light in them at all, there was just a dark mature aura that he could now understand a bit better. He knew, just like she knew.

But he refused to accept it all this time because he truly wished they would trust in him and support his decision. "I had self-righteously told you that my family was unlike yours, that they were understanding and clean people. That they would not be like you claim they would be, and yet, here I am lamenting in front of the only person who told me the truth straight to my face without a shred of sympathy." A dam had broken in his mind and soul the young man continues to spill out his thoughts and feelings to the girl with the starless eyes. "Two days ago I told them the major I was enrolled in at the dinner table."

"-My father nearly burst a blood vessel while my mother looked at me as if she was looking at the villain who tricked her entire family. My sister who had always said she admired me gave me a look of betrayal and heartbreak as if I broke her trust." Zhong Zemin grits his teeth as the back of his eyes burned and his fists clench at his side. She could see he was doing his best to control the flood. "The way they looked at me...It was as if I had betrayed them! My father flew into a rage and tore apart my notes and textbooks while my mother slapped me twice before forcing me out of the home."

He laughs harshly but she sensed he was close to tears rather than on a furious rampage. The unease in her heart returns seeing his rage-filled expression. "They tossed my things out the front door without letting me retrieve my shoes and left me out in the snow, just like you said. Not a penny to my name, not a dime to spare for food, not a single word of sympathy or support." Zhong Zemin snarls fiercely at the bedpost, his heart burning with fury and heartache. "Tell me! Is family not supposed to support you through thick and thin? Are they not meant to be by each other's side no matter the hardship they go through? Am I not the victim here? Am I not the one who had his trust broken for believing my family would support me no matter what future I had chosen?!"

He chokes on his last words and angrily wipes his face as Hua Fan looks away slowly since she knew it would only make him feel more ashamed if she saw his tears. "It is not as if I told them I murdered someone! Yet they treat me like a criminal and even left me to fend for myself with nothing but the clothes on my back. I waited for them to contact me, I waited for them to call me back home so we could talk like adults. I even had one of my friends from my college call them but you know what they told him?" Zhong Zeming laughs again, in it she could hear his pain and suffering so clearly, it made her emotions warp a bit.

The haggard young man finally looks at her and she also meets his gaze, she scrutinizes the swirl of emotion in his eyes. Sorrow, loss, heartache, pain, anger, bitterness. He gave her a broken smile "They told him, "We don't have a son of that name here. Don't call again." Isn't that sick?" Hua Fan did not try to comfort him and quietly let him vent his feelings. After voicing out his grievances, Zhong Zemin's hands tremble as he falls back into the soft pillows and covers his face with one arm. There was a time that she too experienced the pain he went through. She could do nothing for him but wait for him to calm down until he was willing to listen. Just like he did for her.

"....Liang Zhong Zemin." After waiting a while Hua Fan only spoke when he was no longer breathless and his senses had returned to him. He did not move but she could tell he was listening, her tone was neither soft nor criticizing. It was neutral and mature sounding, and for some reason, it was soothing as well. "As human beings our lives are short and most of us will never be remembered after we have passed on to the afterworld. Not even we ourselves will remember our past lives after crossing Mengpo's bridge. In the eyes of the gods, we are merely souls passing on through a long queue of the dead waiting for our chance to reincarnate."

"-We drink her soup and remember no pain, longing, grief, or regrets. We suffered for our entire lifetime while trying to grasp a small shred of happiness in this world and appease the gods but to them we are nothing. They can shatter our soul with a single raise of their finger no matter how powerful our feelings of hatred or love are." Her voice slows down so he could hear her pronounce each syllable, her eyes word ringing in his ears as an endless echo. Twirling her necklace with melancholy "As someone once told me, 'Hatred and grief can break a person but no one but the gods can break our spirit. The one who causes you such grief, is it god or just another powerless human like yourself?' " The corner of her lip rose into a half-mocking smile that was aimed at herself and him. Zhong Zemin's shoulders shook as he fully processes her arrogant words. "If the gods have yet to strike us down then who are we to try and replace the role of a god with a mortal?"

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