If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want The Child.

If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want The Child.

Abby's POV.

Its been literally seven months since I came back from the hospital after I almost had a miscarriage on my wedding day with Jack.

Trust me, I've been through alot of pain, anger, depression and failure because of Jack.

I am still alive and standing strong because of Doctor Albert who has never failed to check up on me even after leaving the hospital.

Jack still acted like I wasn't existing even after many attempts to get his attention to myself or my unborn child.

I could recall vividly the very day that I had gone to meet him and ask him for the hospital bills.

I could still recall every little move and gestures he made while he spoke up to me about my child.

He had bluntly refused to give me a dime for anything concerning my child.

I felt like dying , as I couldn't find any means of paying the bills for the hospital services.

Doctor Albert had helped me and I guess that was going to be the last time he would do such a thing for me.

Here I was again, standing in front of his room with my hand placed on his door and ready to go in.

I could feel my heart pounding knowing that my discussion with him this time won't be funny.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled before I finally made a move to go into his room.

"Come in…" he responded with a loud voice the moment he heard me knock on his door.

I opened the door and the first expression I had from him was a hiss which meant he cared less about me.

"Good morning Jack…." I greeted and awaited his response to my greeting.

I felt bad seeing him act like I was no one though.

"Speak if you wish to stand in front of me!" He urged without looking at me who was standing before him.

"I.. I need the money for the bills to be settled at the hospital!" I informed with a soft voice.

I was scared to death as I spoke up to him.

"The bills??" He chuckled, making me wonder if I was a fool to have asked about such.

"You should be ashamed of yourself Abby! Your mates walk up to their husbands to get the bills but yours?" He paused for a second as he glared at me from my legs to my head.

"You don't even have a husband and here you are, asking me about silly things." He added rudely.

I was already putting on my black flat shoe which had crystals, weak and dirty on my feet.

And a weary looking black and white gown which fitted my looks whenever I put it on.

Jack had refused to take care of me properly, he had refused to even look at what I wear unlike before, when we started dating.

Every day, I sit and wonder why Jack had turned into the monster he was currently but I just couldn't place my hand on any reason.

"It's for the baby Jack! Don't you think you should consider your child's welfare first?" I urged with a stuttering voice as I felt my hands trembling in fear.

Standing up for my right with Jack wasn't something I was bold enough to do as always.

I tried so hard to maintain my voice as I could feel hot tears willing to fall off my eyes as I spoke to Jack.

If this was a dream, all I just wished for was to get up and continue my normal life before meeting Jack.

Jack suddenly stood up from where he was sitting, he dipped his hands into his pockets and walked closer to where I was standing.

At every step he took, I felt my heart racing, knowing how deadly and dangerous Jack had become over the few months, realising that I was going to give birth to a deformed baby.

I pray every little second I get , never to be a punching bag for Jack and although he yells at me, he never gets to lay his hands on me.

But that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to do that though. Who knows what he was thinking about as he approached me.

"Last I checked Abby, you don't have a baby in your womb" he revealed, making me feel less of myself.

" You have a thing, a nonliving thing in your belly, that wouldn't even look like a human being. Don't give yourself high hopes Abby!!" He Clearfield, with a smirk erupting from his lips.

It was obvious that he had recalled the fact that my baby wasn't normal but even at that, I still had faith that my baby would be fine.

He walked past me with his shoulders rubbing mine like we had an argument going on before he stood up.

"And where are you going? I still need the money to settle the hospital bills Jack" I informed with a sad gaze.

He paused for a while before he turned around to look at me at my lowest.

"You should be able to take care of yourself Abby! You are a grown lady as you can see!!" He emphasised more on the adult part without caring how I feel.

"A grown lady who you wouldn't let her go out to get a job or something?" I asked, looking at him with a regretful stare.

"You are not leaving this house for all I care Abby!! You stay here until the day you are going to deliver your useless child that wouldn't form well!" He snorted as he probably thought about what the child would look like.

He placed his hand on his hair and ran his fingers through it frustratingly with his left hand placed on his waist.

"Look Abby or whatever you call yourself!" He looked up to me after taking in and exhaling a heavy sigh.

"Whatever I call myself?" I placed my finger on my chest as tears rolled down my eyes slowly.

'I didn't see this coming, I never imagined Jack turning into a beast!' I thought Inwardly as I stared at him three steps away from the spot he stood.

"Do you have a problem with that?" He scoffed as he questioned me nonchalantly.

"What do you even take me for Jack? Why the hell have you chosen to be this wicked all of a sudden?" I asked with a forced smile on my face.

My heart bled continuously as I looked at him from afar. I wished our relationship wouldn't end, I wished our love didn't die the way it did, I wished I had more fun times to spend with him.

"Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you turn to this!" I cried out as I walked closer to where he was at a slow pace.

I fell on my knees as a torrent of tears kept on rolling down my eyes.

"And… you think kneeling before me would make me have pity on you? For crying out loud!! You drank knowing that you were going to have my baby!! My own child!!" He emitted a snicker as he darted his stare to the ceiling in his room.

"You should have told me that you just don't want to have a baby for me Abby. You should have told me you don't love me enough to give me a child!" Jack added with a grin.

"Jack… Jack please!! I can't leave like this anymore Jack, I need you to forgive me please…." I uttered with both hands grabbing his left leg.

I was heavily pregnant and weak at that but wishing to get the forgiveness of the person I love so much was more important than anything in the world.

'The baby is going to be a deformed baby so what's the essence of trying to protect a child and kill my relationship?' I thought to myself seeing how bittered Jack was.

Thinking he was going to forgive me, place his hand on my shoulders and assure me his sweet love as I begged him genuinely, Jack did the opposite.

He bent over to my level and placed his hand on my jaw , revealing my face and moist eyes to his view slowly.

I sniffled seeing and thinking he had a good conscience still somewhere in his heart.

"You will never be the Woman I love Abby. Let's just say… " he grabbed a few strands of my hair that had covered my left eyes and tucked them at the back of my ear gently.

"Let's just say we never met and after you give birth to this thing you are carrying as a child, you can choose to leave my home or stay!" Jack asserted with a cold aura surrounding his presence.

I was stunned seeing and hearing what he had said to my face.

He had no hint of humour as he spoke to me which meant he was being damn serious about every little word he said to me.

"Jack….." I said out with a faltering voice unintentionally.

I choked on my words as I watched him stand to his feet.

"Get your fucking hands off my fucking feet and trust me Abby, I won't warn you again!" He threatened , making me tremble in fear.

"If… if I can't get your love Jack, then I don't want to have this baby Instead!!!" I stated clearly before taking out what I had installed as my plan B.

I dipped my hand into my bag and took out the tiny bottle with a yellow label wrapped around it.

"Arsenic!!!!" That was the name written boldly on the label that was wrapped around it.

I twirled the cover open with my hand slowly and raised my tears stricken face to look at Jack who was astonished.

"What are you doing?? Are you insane???" He bellowed seeing my actions towards his statement earlier.

He tried dragging the bottle out of my hand but my grip was stronger than he could think about.

"If I can't have you like I said… I would rather kill this baby and.. and be alone!"

And immediately, the moment I realised that his grip on the bottle wasn't that strong anymore, I raised the bottle to my mouth and took in a gulp from it.

Before he could stop me from taking a sip, I had already digested the whole bottle.

"Fuck!!!! Abby!! What has gotten into you!" He panicked as he came closer to me again on the ground with his hands grabbing my shoulders.

"If I can't have you Jack, I don't want any of this!" I repeated with a sly grin which looked weird to him.

It was bitter at first but as time went by, I felt its reaction.

I could feel my intestine tangling on the inside like someone was knowingly tying them together.

Suddenly, I coughed and that was when I saw my life slowly fading away like the colours on a cloth that has been worn and torn severally.

"Abby?? Is that blood??!! Abby you are fuckingly coughing out blood!!" Jack freaked out as he was losing his mind already.

I kept on coughing with so much pain filled in my heart and belly. I fell to the ground as I kept on laughing painfully with blood stains all over my face and my cloth.

"Abby, stop this!! Abby please!!! Don't do this!!" Jack cried out as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders from beneath my neck and his other hand on my tummy.

"I can't believe it took you this long.. it took you this long to see how much I love you Jack!!" I whimpered with grief as I watched him shed tears that couldn't be seen when I begged him to help me at first.

"It's over now.. I'm sorry…." I apologised and that was the last scene I could remember before everything became pitch black.