28 Turning back

But I didn't ditch him, she argued. I just tried to protect myself. Besides, if he thought I was a loser, why is he helping me? He could have just flipped me off. But he didn't.

Well, of course he wouldn't. Her mind scoffed at her. He was a gentleman. He might be a liar and a cheat but he had really good manners ingrained in him. That's why he is coming down here to help you. And that's why he also rang you back and spoke to you politely. If it were Jeet, he wouldn't have bothered.

Well, okay then. She conceded. I will be equally polite and on my best manners with him then. I will not remember what I felt in his arms last night and why and how I ran away without a word. Well, no, there was a note. But maybe it wasn't the smartest thing that I did in my life. So, I will thank him for his kindness, try my very best not to be a burden on him and be on my way as quickly as I can.

Oh yeah, good luck with that, her mind smirked at her as he pulled his car in front of her, looking the ultimate word in sophistication in a gray suit, white shirt open at the collar, his eyes hidden behind shades. One look at his nose as sharp as a blade and she remembered how she had kissed the tip over and over again. How he had returned the favor. Oh, this was torture.

He climbed down and opened the passenger door for her without a word and waited patiently for her to get in. She opened her mouth to say 'thank you' but closed it seeing the look of polite indifference on his face. Instead she got in the car, equally without words and waited demurely with her hands on her lap for him to drive away.

They didn't speak at all for the first half hour. Feanor kept his eyes studiously on the road and put on a soft pop album on play. Idril kept her face averted from him and looked out the window. In fact, her neck had started hurting after the first fifteen minutes but she was resolute. She didn't speak even when she was bursting and needed to go to the bathroom.

Fortunately, they stopped for gas only after a quarter of an hour and she was able to get off when he was busy filling up the tank. It was already dark by then. When she came back to the car, she found he was gone. Before she could start to panic, though, she spotted him in the all night store. She looked at him with pure loathing. He hadn't even bothered to let her know that he was going off all by himself.

Like you did? Her mind jeered. You too, just went off like a shot.

I was rushing for the bathroom. She snapped back. Besides, what right did he have to act so aloof? It's his fault I am in this mess in the first place. He ought to be ashamed of himself, not strut around showing what a favor he was doing her.

You know he didn't need to do the favor, her conscience told her quietly.

Of course he did. And he has no right to behave that way, after what he did. She replied angrily.

Maybe you would do it too if you got away with it often.

Yeah, that's right. The difference between us!

By the time he came back carrying a paper bag, she had worked herself up in quite a rage and was sitting silent in the dark, not having bothered to turn on the lights. On a level, she wondered why she was feeling so angry. Was it because she was hurt by him not asking her why she did what she did or it was just a defense mechanism from her part. Or maybe, she conceded, hating herself, after all the lectures she gave herself for not being clingy and needy, she had wanted to be cajoled and cared for like he did the last three days!

He paused for a moment before getting in, adjusting his vision in the dark. When he was sure it was her in the car, he got in and switched on the lights. She turned her face away.

She could feel him looking at her and suddenly all the rage she was feeling turned into a delicious fine tremor that ran through her skin and raised goose bumps. She shivered. Suddenly the combination of lateness of the hour, the closeness, and the strange situation they were in, made her stomach muscles clench and she was reminded of what had happened the last time they were in this car. Hardly daring to breathe, lest she broke the silence, she waited for him to touch her or say something.

But nothing happened. After the first two minutes, she released her breath in a hiss and heard him sigh simultaneously. She turned to face him for the first time, surprised. He was looking straight at her unsmiling with hooded eyes. Without a word, he handed her a packet of food. As she took it, she was careful of not touching him. And sat there not moving staring straight ahead, clutching the bag of sandwich.

With another pause, he said in a low tone. "Eat up. It will be late by the time we reach." And with that he put the car in drive and they were off again.