2 Prologue: Ranunculus

Ranunculus was not a busy man.

Ever since the final battle had concluded, he found himself with less and less to do. Yes, he admitted, it was good that his kingdom extended to all three realms, but… Now there's nothing to fight for!

However, the King of Demons was a clever man. Just because one isn't busy, doesn't mean one can't be preoccupied.

Right now, he was very preoccupied. He was enjoying the company of his two favorite women. They were twins, equally beautiful with long white hair and scarlet skin. Eula and Uela. One sat in his lap, and the other fed him grapes. Together, on the large lounger, they watched an elephant sized scrying orb.

"What're we watching?" asked Eula, bouncing in Ranunculus' lap.

The orb was cloudy. The picture inside flickering, like it was searching for an image.

"Gimmie a sec," he simply said.

Uela set the grape vine down, sitting on his armrest. The twins silently watched their king struggle to control the Heavenly Artifact.

"Urgh. Laurel showed me how to control this stupid thing last night…" Ranunculus rattled his brains for the memory. "It sees… it sees…"

"One's strongest desire."

Laurel had snuck in, entering the bedroom unannounced. Ranunculus rose from his chair to greet his opposite.

"Oh! You're back! Did you finally finish your… your…" Ranunculus had forgotten the word.

"Chandelier? Yes. It is very pretty."

The twins watched the exchange, smirking. It was always funny the way these two powerful men interacted. Not quite friends, and not quite enemies.

"Well," Eula said, voice sweet, "maybe our king has everything he wants," she slid her hands over her curves, "right here."

""No."" They said in unison, dismissing her.

Eula blinked while Uela giggled, staying quiet. Unlike her younger sister, she liked watching more than speaking.

"What were you trying to see?" Laurel asked. He walked over to the orb and placed his had on the cool mirror surface.

Ranunculus followed him, stopping in front of the orb. He thought for a single moment, before he put his hands on his hips and declared:

"I want to see my next conquest!"

"Did you not know before?"

"I did."

"Then what were you thinking about just now?"

Ranunculus frowned, thinking some more.

"Dunno."

"You're an idiot. But I did lose to you so… as you wish."

Laurel bowed as he said this, not missing Ranunculus' moment of confusion.

"Was that a compliment? Or something else?" The demon asked.

"It is whatever you desire it to be," the angel answered.

From there Laurel ignored him, instead attempting to focus Ranunculus' desire into the orb. The demons saw the orb actually display something for a single moment, before the fog rolled back in.

"Aw man. Is the damn thing busted?"

Ranunculus had plopped back down on the lounger. He had both women in his arms. They were cuddling, wrapped around him in an elaborate hug.

"Hmm. No, it just can't tell the difference between three demons." Laurel said.

"So it's racist?"

"…No, you idiot. It's just not tuned to your energy."

"Wait, that means…" The demon started.

"Yes, the ladies have to go." The angel finished.

"Nooo. Please My King, don't make us go!" Eula begged.

Uela nodded in agreement, hugging his pecs.

"Sorry ladies, it was just about time anyways."

He hopped out of his seat, the lounger disappearing in a puff of ash. The two women dropped roughly to the tile.

"Hmph!" Eula said, as she was helped up by her sister. "Ever since Laurel moved in here there's all these dumb rules! What kind of man has a bedtime?!"

"A man with a roommate," Ranunculus said, leading them to the door.

Ranunculus returned to the bedchamber. Laurel was lying on his side of the bed. The giant scrying orb had shrunken down, floating above. Laurel lazily flipped through possibilities.

"So, why do we sleep in the same bed?" Ranunculus asked, walking around to his own side.

"Because, you wanted this bed. But, like I told you before, this bed keeps me alive. If I wasn't in it while you slept, it would kill you."

"I don't remember you saying that last time?"

"No, last time I told you I didn't want to sleep on human skin. The dead thing, that was what I told you the first time."

"Uh huh," he said, not listening. "So the orbs working now?"

"Yes, and I haven't found anything good."

"Just how many possibilities are there?" Ranunculus whined.

"More than you could count…" Laurel said, closing his eyes.

Half an hour passed. Ranunculus was bored. He could be knee deep in girls right now. Or dreaming about being knee deep in blood. Anything would be better than this.

"Enough Laurel," he commanded, "I'm bored. Just turn it to that show I like."

Laurel stopped his light speed flicking. He opened his eyes, looking at Ranunculus.

"Which one would you like, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or Seinfeld?"

"Hmm.. No. I'm looking for something with more gore."

"Breaking Bad?"

"More cartoon-y."

"Squidbillies? SuperJail?"

"SuperJail! Yes, that's what I'm in the mood for!"

"You've got until I fall asleep to enjoy yourself."

"I know…"

After hearing Ranunculus mumble along to the theme song for the third time, Laurel realized something.

"Why don't you just conquer this world?"

"Hm? Oh yeah… I should do that. Good idea."

Ranuculus thought for a moment.

"Wait. If I conquer this world there won't be any more of these shows I like!"

Laurel paused the show.

"No. I get these shows from the internet."

"The internet?"

"Ran… just know that the show won't be going anywhere."

"Ah ok. Then we'll begin in the morning."

Laurel hit resume.