n o t e s e v e n

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I am starting to regret waiting for you to notice me before I confessed my feelings to you, Ashton.

Is this what this feeling is? Jealousy? Envy?

Is it supposed to feel so...bad? I have a headache from trying to stop the emotion.

But it never works.

Ashton, if you knew who I was, I would have confronted you about this. About Laura Parker. About how, during lunch, you asked her out on a date. Do you remember that, Ashton? Do you remember how the entire cafeteria when silent? It was a deadly, deathly silence.

Yet you couldn't hear my heart breaking.

Laura was in the middle of tutoring Emma Jackson during lunch, remember? Something about mathematics and circle theorems. And then you strode in like you were on a horse, looking brighter than you usually did.

I noticed this straight away. Since when where you known to be extremely happy when eating the "disgusting cafeteria food", right? And I kept a close eye on you, Ashton.

I watched as Laura screamed when you placed your hands on her shoulders. She was scared, was she not? But then you reassured her, telling her that it was you, and you sat down next to her. You had a conversation that I could not hear because it was SO DAMN LOUD in the cafeteria. I wanted to hear, but getting too close would have blown my cover.

You dropped down to one knee like you were proposing. For a second, I thought you WERE proposing. But, instead, you gave her a warm smile. Emma was long gone by now, too frightened of your popularity and reputation to stick around. So it was like you were in your own world as you let out the words I should have hated you for:

"Laura Parker, will you go on a date with me?" you asked her.

And that was when my heart shattered, the glass scattering all over the floor.

And she said, "Yes," to you.

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