I really like the story so far! It's nice to see the relationships between Xueyu and all the other characters during her second chance! (and I hope her relationship with her master is purely platonic because judging by it, there's an age difference and that would be rather creepy if it became romantic lol). The interactions between Zhou Yun and Shi Zhen are really funny too, and I can't wait for Xueyu to warm up to Shi Zhen!
I think, like I said in a previous comment, the reason why I enjoy this story is because as of right now, the romance hasn't kicked in yet and it's just a nice slice-of-life-esque sort of storyline with Xueyu and Zhou Yun. I really like the way their relationship is displayed, and that he isn't just the 'cold withdrawn' sort of stereotype that a lot of male characters are given! It's really nice to see him show how he cares for her. It's really heartwarming to just learn about how to spend their time in the valley! (even though I know this will probably change soon rip)
Also can't wait to find out more about the characters and their backstories! I see lots of potential. :)))
You've mentioned harem or not in your author notes and I am leaning towards no harem please. Reverse harems or harems, regardless of which, tend to create a lot of cliche characters who don't get enough time to develop and receive a solid personality! If you would like to give the readers a good idea of each character's personality (especially Xueyu's), my best advice would be to lessen the amount of people in the cast. this way, you can guarantee no character is left out with a lack of personality/development!
As constructive criticism, I would like to note that Xueyu's character is a little... off? I'm assuming that she went back in time after she died as an *****, but her current actions still seem very childish. It's not that she's immature, but I guess I was expecting more maturity as someone who had their "child killed" and also betrayed by two people closest to her.
I think your grammar honestly isn't the worst, but it could do better. There are lots of tiny mistakes (such as tenses) in each chapter that don't disrupt the overall story too much, but it would be even better if they were fixed! Finding an editor is my best solution to the problem. But of course, researching how to fix these things and proof-reading carefully will also help your writing quality! And, obviously, the more you practice, the better you'll get. <3
All in all, this story is pretty good and I look forward to the future chapters! :)